Shower Acoustics Are Magnificent

Chocolates are peanuts and I am the Elephant. This is not unlike "your ass is grass, and I am the lawnmower." However, I do not eat the chocolate to sustain my system. I consume the chocolates for the vivid dreams they provide. Delicious chocolates.

My skin feels like Ned Flanders ski one piece..."it feels like I am wearing nothin' at all." Despite many consecutive days of feverish consumption of art and music, more days lie ahead. If I may courageously cut a swath through these unparalleled days of evil that stand before me and party, I may, once again, revel in the arts.

Until then, I provide this aural shield to ward of ghouls and other psychic, day walking, vampires. May you wield it well, always. You may download this shield here... http://www.zshare.net/audio/682407948d4349a4/

Also, a shout out to my dear friend Charles. "May your magnets never lose their power."

P.S. The shield components are listed below...

Logarythm Presente: EN:NO Musique/Jonas Bering From the nape of the neck
Mo's Ferry Prod. presents Luka & lazo-MidEvil Disko E.P. Cutfather
Jackmate -Tapeworms
Kid Scientific - Lovelife
Casey Hogan- Rotation
Brennan Green & Daniel Wang - Electrokution
Luomo w/ Raz O Hara- Give it away
Disco Dream and the Androids - The Dream Machine
Lipps- Funky Town
Chicago - Street Player
Commodores- Machine Gun
Heib - Cargo
United Artists E.P. - Irwin Leschet
Meta.83- Tanzstudie
Gary Numan- Cars
Shriekback - All Lined Up
Air Frog- Bon Voyage
Higamos Hogamos- Major Blitzkreig Depth Charge Buzzer Remix
Thomas Dolby- One of Our Submarines
Rob Acid- After Club
Some Weird Glitch?
Prefuse Does the Books - Ocho w/ Claudia Maria Deheza

UB40? Seriously? Yes, Seriously. Jungle Love.

It must have been late 1994 or early 1995 that I copped a cassette single of "I Can't Help Falling In Love With You" by UB40. From whom or where I acquired this cassette is a memory that I no longer have. In any case, "I Can't Help" is not a particularly interesting song and it's quality is questionable.

What is of note, is the single's b-side. To a drum 'n' bass enthusiast, or what was at the time considered 'Jungle,' as a blanket term, despite whatever it may be described as now, this b-side was fantastical. Even having gained some 12 to 14 years of musical experience, this track is still quite bad-ass. It has some cheesy elements of that old acid techno (think James Brown is dead) and seems rather rudimentary, but come on, this is UB40 we are talking about.

Nevertheless, there were many afternoons and evenings spent cruising around Detroit in a green, Ford Escort, wagon blasting this cassette, over and over. Even Windsor had the profound joy of experiencing this UB40 track on occasion.

Anyway, I have been scouring the planet and networks for this damn little track for some time. I have finally discovered this track, no insignificant feat for a track hunter bordering on the deviant, like myself. If you don't share my enthusiasm for this ditty, restrain yourself and hold your thought, I don't much care.

Take a listen to "Jungle Love" by UB40 at this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TqbXMZBLlo

Here Come The Warm Jets

Brian Eno produced an album in 1973 entitled "Here Come The Warm Jets." This album was released on Island Records and was Eno's first solo album following his stint in Roxy Music.

The album combines glam and progressive rock and, in my opinion, foreshadows Eno's foray into ambient and electronic art forms of music.

Several other artists that played on this album, including Robert Fripp, went on to create names for themselves in other aspects of experimental rock. Rock that, despite coming years before the rock that would inspire post-rock, is essentially pre-rock post-rock, to get non-linearly metaphysical.

These songs seem absolutely timeless and, if one was not aware of when it was released, could easily be deemed to have been created in a basement studio last week. Absolutely brilliant stuff.

Take a listen to "here come the warm jets," from the album "here come the warm jets," at the following link...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP-RFsuv-8Q or take a look and listen here

Festival Musica Electronica Latina 2009 and Inspiration

Hoy, This Day, Today, I sit here, drafting these words, a rejuvenated man. The FMEL, or Festival Musica Electronica Latina (Latino Electronic Music Festival), began last eve. The Chicago Cultural Center hosted the kick-of events, and kicked it off they did.

To begin, the Theater in the Chicago Cultural Center is a marvelously wondrous venue to host any event. However, to have seen Balún, the opening act, in this theater was magical. The lights and music, together, proved to be quite a moving experience, and a welcome surprise to say the least. More on this further on.

I hadn't the slightest idea that this type of thing existed. To admit that fact is somewhat embarrassing for reasons twofold. First, I have been neglecting my Mexican heritage. Secondly, I consider myself a ravenous consumer of music. In fact, music is, arguably, the only 'thing' that i truly spend my money on. Nevertheless, I fortuitously came across a copy of Extra, a bilingual Chicago magazine. It comes as no surprise that the "Electronic Music Festival" tag line captured my eye. Thus, I grabbed the rag and told my wife, "I am going to this, all of it."

So, Thursday night, I grabbed the journal, a knapsack, and the umbrella and headed down to the Cultural Center. Very few people were in the theater when I arrived. However, Balún was warming up when I entered. If their set-up portended the night's events, I thought, this rainy eve was sure to entertain, delight, and inspire. As it came to pass, most of the people in the room, when I arrived, were to serve on the panel that evening, and/or play at the evening showcases. The panel consisted of the following people (and I will give a brief description of each), from left to right. This seemingly useless bit of information may or may not be important, yet it seemed to effect the discussion.

1) Angel Sanchez Borges from Otrasmusicas.org- This man is quite intriguing. He began the evening speaking English, and then switched to Spanish. I understood, more or less, everything. I actually found it easier to follow while he spoke Spanish. Understanding less language from fuller ideas trumps understanding more from thinner conveyances, if that makes sense. He had Enrique translate for him, stating "I have a hangover and it's just much easier for me to think in Spanish." Though Enrique did translate quite well, much was lost.

Nevertheless, I did not know what to expect from Angel. He appeared to be quite uneasy with some of the topics and, thus, a bit aloof. I hadn't been aware that he would be performing.

When he took the stage with compatriot drummer, after Balún, they blew my mind. Sadly, I did not catch the drummer’s name. If anyone knows, please, hit me up. I am unsure whether Angel alone is 'Antiquo Autómata Mexicano,' or whether this is his collaboration with the drummer. Despite my ignorance I was thoroughly impressed with the music. The visuals added much to the experience. Angel, stood face to face with his drummer, only the machine and the drums separating them. Behind the two was an orange, white, any yellow mix of semicircular digital images swirling about as they performed was stunning.

The music, and I apologize for the comparisons, reminded me a combination of old acid-jazz from the Irma label, and Trans Am without guitars, and Can's droniness. At moments, the music provided such sparseness that the immediacy of moments of chaos was arresting. I am very much looking forward to purchasing AAM compact discs at the National Museum of Mexican Arts tonight. Had I planned appropriately, I would have attended with more funds. Striking and lovely music continued throughout the event.

2) Enrique Jimenez 'Ejival' from Statico Discos in Tijuana. A border town man uniquely situated to participate in three different cultures. Enrique is a product of American, Mexican, and pidgin culture indigenous to border towns the world over. I have not yet had an opportunity to listen to any Statico Discos artists live. However, Enrique did provide a drop card with a free download mixset by Cubenx entitled Blended Stock. I am downloading this mix as we speak and can barely contain my excitement of all of these new discoveries. Qué Felicidades!

P.S. It appears as though Enrique is distributing AAM's newest album 'Chez Nobobdy.' This was the album I wanted to purchase last night, and that I will purchase today. Again, I am overflowing with anticipation to dig through these sites. Check it out here...http://www.staticdiscos.com/

P.P.S. Enrique has for our aural pleasures provided a free mix set by Cubenx, which I mentioned above. What I did forget to mention is that y'all can download it as well at www.staticodiscos.com/blendedstock.


3) Nohemi Rodriquez from Verdigris also in Tijuana, and I believe, Enrique's wife. Verdigris is, the sister label to Statico Discos, and apparently a more 'feminine,' in Nohemi's words, label. I am quite curious to listen to their music. This woman beamed goodness and wore a wide smile the entire evening. She reminded me why I love music so much and the joy that a music discussion can bring. Here is the link to the Static blog...http://www.staticdiscos.com/blog/

If she can direct me to where I may find some of that Verdigris 'good stuff' I will be more than happy to go to that site, otherwise I will begin digging later. Gracias.


4) Manrico Montero Calzadiaz from Mandorla Records in Distrito Federal (D.F. or Mexico City). What can I say about this man? Clearly, Manrico reads much in the English language. While he is certainly used to speaking in his mother tongue, his grasp of English vocabulary and its nuances is superb. Manrico, just with a cursory glance of his site...http://www.manricomontero.com/index.php?/project/news/... produces and lives in the vein of Can, Neu, Hendrix, Stephen Stapleton, Genesis Porridge and their ilk.

As concerned with life as art as much as he is with the construction of sounds, his site is awash in photographs, links to sounds, etcetera. Decidedly, I am attending his performance this eve. I am yet unsure whether life imitates Manrico or Manrico imitates life. I will not expect anything, but if this is what I believe it will be, it should be illegal for Manrico, the milanesa at Nuevo Leon, and the rotating art installations at the National Museum of Mexican Arts to be in the same vicinity at the same time.

For more of his music check his myspace page at...http://www.myspace.com/mandorlalabel

In addition, check out a distributor of his music, Klangstaub, at http://klangstaub.com/shop/index.php?main_page=checkout_success

5) Luis Flores from Antenna Discos - Monterrey, Nuevo Leon. There is a special place in my heart for Monterrey because my Pops hails from there, Nuevo Leon, what, what? Anyway, I have to get a card with his information on Saturday night at Sonotheque. Hells yes. I am very excited to see this man play and hope that he is in attendance tonight so that we may engage in some jocular banter sobre los adentros y afueras de musica electronica.

Now then, these folks discussed the difficulties in extending awareness and delivering their music to a wider variety then merely the locals involved in their individual scenes. With the exception of Manrico, the group seemed to lament not only the lack of awareness of their music outside of Mexico and even their limited spheres but also the lack of social and governmental support of their music. Angel, in particular, made comparisons of the business community in Catalan supporting musicians and artists in an attempt to attract the Olympics to their city. He also made mention of hosting festivals live Sonar to generate finances for the city and how governments, business leaders, and social groups support these types of events and how this is lacking in Mexico throughout. This fact was reiterated to some extent by Luis and Enrique, however, in my opinion; this may not be the only answer.

For example, I am unsure if the Detroit Electronic Music Festival, while supported by the City, generates much revenue for it at all. If this festival generates revenue for Detroit, I don't see it, personally. Also, who knows how much support there is for DEMF, but people make it happen. My complaint is this, if these talented Mexican artists are making music like what I heard last night, and expect to hear for the remainder of the weekend, why aren't they playing at DEMF?

It is the lack of exposure for these Mexicanos? Is it Detroit promoter’s failure to look much beyond Germany and Montreal for non-Detroit artists, or even Detroit for that matter? Is it lack of communication? What is it?

The panel made mention that their projects became lost in the greater festivals when they participated in the past. In response to this, any publicity is good publicity when you are looking to expand your listener ship. However, expansion should not come at the cost of the artist's integrity. I myself would find it to be fantastic to see a greater diversity of international artists at festivals like DEMF or Mutek. Furthermore, while jacking-ass, face melting techno has its place in my heart and within the overreaching lexicon of electronic music, it need't be promoted at the expense of other types of electronic music, but rather together. If you love, we love, I love electronic music I should not be made to cannibalize electronic music for the sake of Detroit techno, or Chicago House, or New York IDM, or Argentine tango-electronica, or Mexican Nortec, or German Tech-House. You get the point.

What is the prohibitive variable that prevents artists coming together, playing together, forming alliances, and moving forward to evolve electronic music? It certainly must be the inability for us all to communicate instantaneously, or the lack of means to cross the Atlantic Ocean, or perhaps the language barrier. You see how ridiculous these excuses can be. Primarily, my hope and expectation is to open dialogue. Secondly, I wish to play out more and produce more music. Thirdly, I plan to make connections with artists whose music I enjoy and would like to hear and play with. Finally, by doing those things, we can expand the range of music we hear and decrease the perception that the community is insurmountably vast.

That being said, a supremely high note for me was Balún's performance. Secretly wishing for everything and hoping for nothing is my creed, and has been, for as long as I can recall with any accuracy or clarity. Expect the worst, no? This way you will never be disappointed. I believe that something changed for me last night on a cellular level. I have been making music in my basement for some time, often at a glacial pace, and only infrequently with my wife. What we do and what we strive for can be best described not with words, but with a good listen to a live performance by Balún.

Originally from Puerto Rico and now living in New York these latina/o electro troubadours with the beautiful visual backdrop conjured audibly induced visions of Pinocchio's Pleasure Island before (the island before everything went weird). Listening to their one hour set of joy made me think of My Bloody Valentine, Bjork, The Books, Stereolab, and much, much more. They are their own band. By my account, in moments of lucidity when the music released me from its warm embrace, I noticed an electric ukulele, (I think I couldn't tell if was 4 stringed or 8 which would be a mandolin right?) bass guitar, guitar, Casio keys, unidentified machine, electric violin, electric accordion, bells, melodica, egg shaker, keyboard, laptop with unknown software (logic I suspect), a small device which when cranked runs a programmed piece of paper through generating music box like sounds.

Oh my good heavens, Nora, Leo, Angelica, and Jose played. What is more they played with grace and humility, in synch with one another as if they had done the very same thing one million times before. Yet, last eve was the first time they performed together, on stage, in their current incarnation. Nora played the Ukulele with a slide, the high notes piercing the drone and accentuating Angelica's voice. How appropo a name for the lead singer, who in fact, sounds angelic. Her's and Leo's voice, at times unintelligible, supplemented the array of sounds as if they were instruments in themselves, which they are, and should be.

Leo changed from Casio to guitar provided further rhythms for the band. Angelica, as the others did as well, switched effortlessly between her voice, the violin, the egg, and her accordion; Nora between her bass and ukelele. Jose conducted the ebb and flow of his machined sounds. Every member, a talented multi-instrumentalist, expertly adjusted velocity and start and stop time as if machines themselves. Truly an indescribable joy to experience that hour with them, I just wanted to wrap them up in a multi-colored tapestry and take them to the beach and invite all of my friends to watch the sunset to music well suited for such things. The music was beyond beautiful and has inspired me all over again to make brilliant sounds.

This is sufficient for now. I will have more to report from the second day of this festival. As I said before, I am super fired about musique concrete from Manrico and whatever other gifts this day seems fit to toss my way.

Cheers

weareallmachines.

Clandestinely lurking about during the twilight hours

As I sat docilely awake on the cusp of the weird hour of waste-oids, the digital workforce, and those manual laborers arising from their slumbers to start their toil as the youth just get into their full swing of super sensory non-sense, I felt strangely at peace. Now, under other circumstances, this may seem odd. To me, though, peaceful states are more aberrational than they are normal.

Had the specific job that I was working on fallen to pot, perhaps I would have unwittingly changed my tune. Not receiving that late night call from a client frantically professing the end of their world is all the thanks I require for a job, not well done, but not done poorly. I needn't be lauded, I simply need not be disturbed when successfully completing a job.

Nevertheless, at that hour, nearing ungodly to the overly dramatic, I accepted my current circumstances. Albeit less than ideal, I will manage with the present situation, for now.

My existence lies in a rather fragile groove, like a roughly hewn, 90 gram vinyl. I sit precariously on a ledge from which I may become unmoored at any instant. My self imposed pressures, and externalities, combine to form an invisible psychic weight that I constantly try to shake. Strides have been made, triggers defended against upon recognition, and growth. Oh, the growth. I have learned to let the a$$holes of the world slide on by on their proverbial 'slip 'n' slides' of feces. I cannot control a$$holes. The reason that most a$$holes cannot be controlled is because: A) They do not recognize that they have a problem; B) They are inconsiderate the feelings of others, and thus would not modify their behaviour if they recognized that they were, in fact, a$$holes; and C) There exists a strain of a$$hole, that knows they are an a$$hole and agitate people simply for kicks. I work with several C) variations. They suck. Yet, they are wonderful training tools. I view their function in life as an entity that forces me to regulate my blood pressure and test my patience so that I evolve into a being of perpetual calm.

So, for now, I am at peace. I intend to remain this way permanently. I will not always be under the exertion of these vile conditions. Perhaps the circumstances grow worse, perhaps they improve. If my microcosm and the daily reports from the world outside are any indication, a$$holery is on the steady rise. Thus, I will need to remain permanently calm to effectively face the daily world. I am doing my best. Gives us a hand would you? Don't be an a$$hole.

Here are some small gestures that one can easily accomplish...

1) Hold a door open. If the person doesn't thank you, tell them that they are welcome, loudly. Condition humans to be considerate again.

2) If someone cuts you off or honks at you, stare them in the face, smile, and give them a thumbs up. Even, and especially, a$$holes need positive encouragement.

3) If someone offends you with an off-cuff comment, explain to them that they are rude, that their parents failed them or that they have forgotten pertinent teachings from their youth, and pat them on the back. Show em' who is boss.

At any rate, I hope this helps you. This is the product of a lucid day vision adapted from a moment of clarity from deep within the peace of night. Cheers.

Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

Below are the lyrics to the song "Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before" by "The Smiths." The Smiths, in my opinion, were one of the very best bands to come out of the 1980's post-punk scene. Their sublime lyrics and musicality evoked thought and bordered on the thin line between depression and ridiculousness. Take a look...

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've
Heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love

I was delayed, I was way-laid
An emergency stop
I smelt the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make
A shy, bald, buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
Who said lied I'd to her ?

Oh, who said I'd lied because I never ? I never !
Who said I'd lied because I never ?
I was detained, I was restrained
And broke my spleen
And broke my knee
(and then he really laced into me)
Friday night in Out-patients
Who said I'd lied to her ?

Oh, who said I'd lied ? - because I never, I never
Who said I'd lied ? - because I never

Oh, so I drank one
It became four
And when I fell on the floor ...
...I drank more

Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've
Heard this one before
Stop me, oh, stop me
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Nothing's changed
I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to, my love...................

Nevertheless, "Stop Me" brings to my mind the thought that no one has really ever "heard this one before." Therefore, no one should ever preclude another from telling the same, or a new story, because no one has ever really "heard this one before." For example, given the subjective nature of every story ever told, no story is ever the same. Every individual gives a story its own uniqueness. Each story brings uniqueness in tone, rhythm, pitch, emotion, perspective, etc.

If you care to think of this theory in even greater metaphysical terms consider this excerpt from a Bill Hick's performance recorded Live at the Dominion Theatre in London, November 1992...

"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."

Notwithstanding the reference to illicit substances, though a recurring topic of interest in his performances, Hick's clearly believed that each person perceives life individually. As such, each person hears, tastes, speaks, perceives differently than the next. Linguists, Psychologists, and the ilk refer to this theory as the "Shared Subjective Experience Theory." (a brief, and likely amateur, description can be found here ...http://theorypages.blogspot.com/2005/11/shared-subjective-
experience-theory.html). This same theory explains why human language, despite its usefulness , is a relatively imperfect tool. One may further extrapolate that this linguistic fallibility contributes to arguments, wars, conflicts, and other disagreements result from a failure to truly understand one another.

Thus, despite its beauty and genius, "Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before," as a song title, always makes me think, even if you have heard this one before, do not stop ME from telling YOU. After all, you have not heard it from me or if you have it will not be the same twice.

my political philosophy in light of this apocolyptic nonsense

My intent is not to add fodder to those which have already chosen a candidate. I am merely venting my disgust with our current political predicament. This is not the first, nor will it be the last, campaign based on smear and feigned hatred with the opposition in the name of political gain. However, this is a first with respect to the face of our political landscape, unique issues relating to our economy and our place in this world, and unprecedented ignorance by both parties and the American people.

I do not know any of these candidates personally, but I do know people just like them. I know people like them because I have striven to achieve, every day, a broader knowledge of life. I have done this by searching for new experiences, new relationships, and new personal growth. I have a theory that people develop through strains, or likenesses, molds of persons if you will. To flesh this concept out, think of times when you have seen someone on the street and thought "that Japanese guy looks just like my brother, except Japanese," or "that woman is the black Julia Roberts." You get my point. Well, those forms, or likenesses, apply to the mind, attitude, and personalities of people as well. Thus, if you have met a type A boss that acts exactly like the high school bully that threw you into the bathroom and gave you a good pummeling, you understand this theory. Yet another example is the conniving, gossipy ex-girlfriend of yours that harps on your faults just the same as your grandmother.

Given that foundation information, I propose the following likenesses. Sarah Palin could, arguably, be described as the half-way decent looking high-school cheerleader, student government president that was seemingly privileged for the small town she grew up in. Yet, despite comparatively meager upbringings she was still a fuckin' hateful little bully that picked on the other girls that didn't have the newest "Guess" sweatshirts and the yellow Camaro. Furthermore, this type of girl, in general terms, probably threw "it" around a little with the popular guys at school that were as equally ignorant as her, but thought that they were smarter. This type of girl, in general terms did not want other people to know of her individual relations with these "cool guys" so she would give em' the "Ol' Palin Wink" just to let them know that it was "their secret." This is a terrible and vile scene that recurs thousands upon thousands of times per year, for time immemorial in what many City-Folk refer to as "Red-neck" towns. Not all places, nor young girls, are like what I have just described. However, many places are like this, and I believe Sarah Palin to be one of those girls, from one of those places.

With respect to John McCain's mold I propose the following. Despite John McCain appearing, at present, of one of Ralph Steadman's bad acid trip looking figure of excessive, and dubious, authority with those beast-like jowls, he was not always so. John Sidney McCain III graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1958. Groomed to be a Naval man from an early age he strove to be an admiral just like his father, and his father's father before him. Everyone knows, and most respect his service to the country, but do not let his sacrifice cloud your judgments folks. This man exudes, and has always exuded, an overconfidence and an arrogance that truly says "ELITE." However, it is this same lack of humility and sense of superiority that explains his form, or likeness. The same qualities that make him the friend you used to have but could no longer hang out with because he stabbed you in the back, or two-timed with your lady. The same characteristics that drove friends who were tired of fighting for a fast-mouthed, hot-head, away, for good. McCain's disingenuous persona gives pause to millions of Americans, and others that perhaps he really died 10 years ago and was replaced by a Madame Tussaud, paranoid android, that no one can truly believe, or believe truly exists.

Now that the administrative task of describing these type, or forms, of people is finished, let's discuss some details. The format of the following text is in an organized rant. I will do my best to retain some semblance of continuity, but I can only do my best.

I. Politicians: Good God Ya'll, What Are They Good For? Absolutely Nothin' Say It Again!

First, let me begin by stating that MOST politicians are lying, cheating, stealing, mud-slinging, bastardized, shells of former human beings. These 'things' are not worthy of the title homo-sapien, or homo-sapien-sapien. It is important to remember that a privileged station in life does not necessarily imply superiority, often the opposite is true. Nevertheless, it is my staunch belief that these 'things' do not survive by the consumption of food, water, and oxygen, as we humans do. Rather, these 'things' continue in perpetuity by consuming feces, sundry biological and non-biological wastes, rodent blood, and babies. That is, until they die, as many believe John McCain has already done (is it so far fetched to believe that what we know of as John McCain is really just a humanoid replacement)? At which point the respective political parties create a replicant. Said replicant than continues to spread its message of muddled, indirect, irrelevant non-sense to our fast-food, infotainment, short-attention-span culture. (See Above).



That being said, one is charged with a civic duty to choose a candidate to elect for political positions. Thus, despite the despicable lack of option, one must participate in the process. Eventually, the process may be represented by a wider breadth of choices that espouse a more diverse array of issues. Perhaps, those candidates may even, truly, stand for your positions on two or even three issues. While I prefer the lesser of the very worst of this collection of evils it is only because that is all I am given as choices. McDonald or Burger King any one?

II. Experience? Who has it, Who needs it, Is it really that important?

While true that Barrack Obama is not the most qualified candidate for President in this here Un-United States of America is John McCain? And what of Sarah Palin. Do we really care about experience, or even issues? Or do we really only care about the talking heads that we see on television and how "cool and stylish" their glasses are or how eloquently they speak? (As an aside, the comment Un-United States is not a typo, or without significance See http://www.thedailyshow.com/ episode with Bill Maher October 2008 in which Maher explains that there are two United States, one which is more European and Progressive and one which is Redneck, Ignorant, and Hateful ---note the Author advocates neither position).

I grow weary of the comparisons between Obama's and Palin's experiences. While Sarah Palin is woefully under qualified to run this Country this is not the primary reason I am so disgusted with her. First, she does not answer questions, any of them. Her failure to answer questions is not a result of dodging issues, it is because she is ignorant. Ignorance can be cured. However, he consistent ignorance on issues reflects either the inability to learn or the arrogance that she need not learn. Both rationales are insulting and if she seeks the votes of those persons more informed or intelligent then her, she has much work ahead of her. However, with regard to the issue of experience, she is also lacking. Furthermore, contrary to Newt Gingrich’s perceptions, as he so ineloquently tries to debase reporter Ron Allen in the following video linked at You Tube, her experiences do not inspire confidence-(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zXi90EVeg).

III. My Brief Digression to Explain to The Less-Evolved, Watermelon-Heads That
There Exist More Parties Than Republican And Democrat And That Not Being Conservative Does Not Mean You Are Communist

Now, before I continue, let me insert this disclaimer. I am not some left-leaning “commie-pinko,” liberal, that surely some mouth-breathing, redneck, racist, Ron Reagan loving, piece of mushy dog-turd, fuck-head is sure to label me as. True, I have not researched the relevant issues as deeply as say Patrick J. Buchanan or Tom Brokaw. However those ignorant bastards that will try and refute what I have said by grunting louder and erratically waiving their long arms in an effort to intimidate are without merit. Make no mistake, these mouth breathers are quick to spout from their obese McMouths this typical, nasty, unoriginal, pre-packaged tagline they have memorized only because they hear it 30 times a day from their choice of biased media.

In fact, there is no label for me, and there should be no label for me or anyone else. There should be very few labels at all. Nevertheless, I will do my very best for those who yearn and revel in these categories. I am a green, libertarian, futurist, anti-dependant on foreign fuels, small central government, proper apportionment of tax dollars to raise our collective ships-ist, non-hormone-meat eating, wine-drinking, stay-the-fuck-out-of-a-woman’s-choice-to-choose, shoot-you-if-you-come-into-my-house-uninvited, ethical and progressive constitutional interpreter who wishes for a strong focus on negotiation with regard to foreign policy.

Whatever genius can come up with that party has my vote (Sorry Bob Barr and Ron Paul you don’t cut a wide enough swath to get my vote).

I’d start my own political party, but I don’t kiss ass, am not strictly Politically Correct, and I hate politicians. Plus, a guy with views like that is definitely a strong candidate for the “most likely to get shot in the face in Dallas” Award.

IV. Race, Sex, The Opportunity For Something A Bit Different, Kool-Aid Drinking,
Ultra-Right, Religious Conservatives, And the Unwavering Ability for the Democratic Party To Ruin A Good Thing.

So where were we, sometimes I wander, OH yes! We were discussing Doo-doo Head Barbie and Robot John. As I was saying, this election is getting progressively nasty. No one wants to verbally attack the “Black Guy,” too much, and nobody really wants to go after the “Woman.” God forbid we offend somebody in the United States. Yeah, it would be horrible if people were actually honest.

Look, give this brother a chance. If Obama fucks up, than that is great for the GOP. Right, GOP? Yet another Democratic failure is not beyond the realm of imagination. At least, however, such a disaster would indicate that our entire political systems is doomed, not just faux-religious, right-wing, neo-con, Republicans. If the United States elects the chosen one, the first "Black Man," as President and he shits the proverbial Easter Basket the right-wingers are free to bask in thier “I told you so” glory.

It is hardly arguable that some extremist factions in the GOP secretly hope that Obama gets elected. If that comes to pass it will only be a matter of time before he lets his true colors as a "terrorist" shine. After all, Obama sounds like Osama right? Hopefully that is a laughable proposition to all but the most extremely ignorant cave dwellers amongst us, I hope. Nevertheless, to those voters, it is a certainty that Obama will work out a deal with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei to produce enriched Uranium, together, in strawberry fields forever. Ha! Then, the Far-Right dare I say Fascist, Republicans can have a field day, dancing around on the beltway with their cee-gars and their triple-malts.

But, don’t get all shit-eatin’ grin on me either you Democrats. You dumb dick-heads with your holier-than-thou attitudes have done just as much to get this country “in the shit” (See http://www.vietvet.org/glossary.htm of terms for “in the shit”) as those greedy Republicans. C’mon Kerry, did you really have to pick John Edwards? Could you not have chosen Hillary right off the bat. A “man of the people” does not pay $500 dollars for a haircut and certainly doesn’t go around fathering babies out of wedlock with a sick wife at home (villainous prick). Additionally, John Kerry, how could you let George W. Bush (and the Machiavellian Neo-Cons with personal vendettas grinding at their souls, including our good friends Wolfowitz, Rove, Rumsfeld, and Crack-shot Cheney) win a second time? In actuality, a first legitimate time, but I digress?

Contrariwise, there are those Democrats, or others, lurking in the shadows, secretly wishing that bat-shit crazy Doo-doo Head Barbie and Robot John win the election. Boy, another 4 years of the same is exactly what this ignorant Country needs. Remember folks, this isn’t even bad yet. Things can always get worse. As Lilly Tomlin once said, "things can always get worse before they get worse."

V. The Economy, Wal-Mart, And My Privilege To Buy A Foreign Car That Will Last And How That Purchase Has Less Effect On The Economy Than Your Purchase Of Goods Made In China For Wal-Mart.

What we should do is allow the millions of Americans that shop at Wal-Mart to keep shopping there as they bitch about getting laid off. I wonder if these folks are aware that the jobs that they once did for a living have been shipped to China, India, Burma, Taiwan, Canada, and Mexico, et. al. The money these consumers piss away at Wal-Mart lines the pockets of Chinese, Indian, Burmese, Taiwanese, Canadian, and Mexican distributors. The products these American consumers purchase fortify foreign markets and further erode the American manufacturing base thereby increasing the number of jobs in China, India, Burma, Taiwan, Canada, and Mexico, et. al. We can let Doo-doo Head and Robot John keep givin’ those jobs away. Or, we can hope that Obama makes good on his promise to give tax incentives and bonuses to those domestic companies that retain production facilities in the United States and return the once great manufacturing base to the United States.

Also, it is not just Appalachia and other similarly depressed communities that contribute to the Wal-Mart phenomenon. It takes all kinds to shop at Wal-Mart. The problem, however, remains the same...

Wal-Mart moves to a community. Wal-Mart's scouts travel the community and gauge the longevity of existing business (ex. that grocery will last 6 months, that hardware store, 1 year). The independent mom & pop shops go out of business because they cannot compete with Wal-Mart’s cheap prices because mom & pop bought local products at higher prices but also employee local members of the community and took care of those local community members. Mom & Pop fire all the locals that worked for em’ when they go under and those ex-employees go work for Wal-Mart. Except, where mom & pop gave the locals health care, a decent wage, and a 40+ hour work week, Wal-Mart does even better. Wal-Mart gives the local a 35 hour work week so that local can spend more time with his/her family and Wal-Mart saves money by NOT paying local’s health care and making sure that the government pays for it (welfare, Medicare, Medicaid). (See Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Pricehttp://www.walmartmovie.com/)

Giving all of our domestic jobs away to less qualified, lower quality providers, importing way more than we export, and consuming foreign fuels should certainly raise our Gross Domestic Product sufficiently strong to pull us out of the Depression that is surely around our corner. Right? Right? I wonder what Paul Volker has to say about this? (http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2008/01/31/volcker-joins-list-of-obama-backers/). How about Al Greenspan? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/14/greenspan-this-is-the-wor_n_126274.html).

What I am trying to say, and this acrimonious diatribe sounds like the disjointed ramblings of a madman and for that I apologize, is that this country is F.U.B.A.R. If we want to fix it, let us give Obama and Biden a chance. Obama has a cool head and some street cred, which goes a long way when dealing with the crooked bastards that the President of the United States has to deal with. Note well, while William Jefferson Clinton WAS the first “Black” President of these United States he wasn’t raised by a single mother and did not have to deal with the same life experiences as Barrack “Barry” Obama. Therefore, Obama brings a new non-privileged background to a traditionally, silver-spooned seat of power that may be refreshing or disastrous. We will never know, though, if we don’t give him a chance. Trust me, we need to give this guy a whirl. I had a lot of people take chances on me, and very few of them were disappointed. Let’s do the same for Obama.

On the opposite side of the very same coin, Joe Biden is also from “the streets.” Now, he ain’t from the streets like Tupac Shakur, but he has lived in areas and at times where economic depression is “REAL.” Steal Depression of the East in the 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s anyone? Not to mention that fact that Joe Biden has very real experience with foreign affairs (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeremy-jacquot/how-bidens-foreign-policy_b_121043.html). Now, this is a true blue American and as close as you are going to get to a human being in career politician.

Contrast that with the other ticket. A Doo-doo Head from a State with a significant percentage of inhabitants that wish to cede from the United States of America (http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Alt/alt.politics/2008-09/msg00006.html) and a humanoid likeness of a man with a maniacal life and actual history of flip-flopping on positions. If we want to talk about flip-flopping, just by the shear duration of political service, John McCain does have more experience (See McCain’s Now Notorious Flip-Flop List).

Some may attack this text as being overly partisan. I have tried to remain as neutral as possible given my proclivities and my choice for the next President. Additionally, some may attack this as not as well researched as it could have been. For that, I apologize. However, at least I am not voting like some of the mentally underdeveloped knuckle-draggers that are casting their vote based on the fact that they would rather, in the most infamous words of my friend A.C. “f*&^ the dog-Sh*&$% out of Sarah Palin” than do the same to Slick Joe Biden.”

Furthermore, despite the fact that every damn news channel you watch is awash in superficial, image spinning, dialogue, I have tried to be as brutally honest as my own mental censors would allow in writing this document. If that is not good enough for some critics I urge them to get off their fat asses, put the remote down, cozy up to their machine and respond with something at least as intelligible as this, hopefully more so.

In closing, I should mention that we are at a pivotal time in human nature and the existence of this planet. If a cynical romantic like me can couch my apathy, for at least the most fleeting of moments, some of you optimistic, sitcom-watching, base-heads can do the same. Get involved, have a discussion, find someone you disagree with to have a debate. After all, most of your friends probably agree with you. What fun is that?

Go do something!