I suck... I am so content and familiar and I feel fucking depressed. I am playing a party tomorrow, spinning. I also told this woman in the bar that I would build her a record case for her husband. That is a nice thing to do. She was an attorney named Jenny, at a place called Underbar, and what a FINE bar I might add. VEry cozy locale, decorated in the traditional North North-American fall colors (greens, yellows, reds, and oranges, muted not gloss. But I digress. Wait, no, there's more. The bartender reminded me of Michael Dew, the dew man. This fella hails by the name o' Reverend JEffrey, a purveyor of only the finest ales, beers, and down key beats in relaxing Rythyms, the likes of Eno making that Airport music. Again, I digress, here in earnest.
I decided to do another good deed (the record rack for Jenny's husband), I fret to say another lest I be beaten again by the powers that be, yet I oft do good things for others. These acts are partially selfless with the other motivating portions offered to the keepers of Karma. Well, today, after much goodness from a streak of undetermined times, God, or whomever, has given me another pillowbiting experience without properly providing a good pull on the frontside. Some beast hither hath thieved mine bicylcle! No seriously, someone stole my fuckin' bike. I suspect foul play perpetrated by the filth living below me (co-habitants of this dwelling, un-related to me). These people are in the middle of a divore and she lives in the basement and he lives on the first floor. I apologize for the disjointed message, "a convoluted story, I'll admit" but I need to get this of my chest before I commit some drastic act in a blind passion.
So, we were to the clowns downstairs correct? Aye, I thought so... Despite my lack of drama due to me constant efforts to uncreate drama It so boldly sought me out Today.
As I struck off for the home of a friend I descend my stairs to bust out the ol' bicycle, much easier to ride there on the twos than the fours. What to my dismay did I find in the place I keep my bicycle? A great emptiness where usually some gears, grease, and aluminum lie. My great pissiness boiling up to the big browns, this cannot be!!!!! But alas, it was, and here I am. 5 hours, 4 beers, and two glasses of wine later I am agravated, but only slighly. A skeeter bite on the ankle on a day too hot to mind, only this is fall and a skeeter bite today throbs like a hammer on the thumb or a bike stolen on an October day. GOD DAMMIT. I want to destroy. This is the 2ND bike in 5 years. Can't this low-rent, two-bit, half-rate, gawl-dang, mother-fucking, sons of bitches go buy their own bike?
BAck to the divorcees. They ain't getting of that easy. Well as I said, he lives above her, probably because neither was getting above either, for some time, but this is irrelevant, neither here, nor there, as it were. So, his fellas come over for the poker about once a week and they carry on til all hours, they start late so it does not wakes us up Gov' ner, but they carry, and they carry. Well, me thinks one of his fella split off with my bike. That, again, neither here, nor there, leads me to the ultimate point. I have to file a police report, get the multiple acct. #s for this and that and sort these fucker's flotsam and jetsam out.
God bless you and yours, and if you see a "joy thief" which is different than a "necesity thief"...shoot the fucker in the face. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrr
!!!!!
More wine!
25.7.06
I was Robbie Williams and I forgot my song?
Last night I awoke at 1:00 a.m., not long after I had initially fallen asleep.
Now, I rarely remember my dreams. However, I am remembering them with greater frequency as I advance in days and years. Last night I was Robbie Williams, English PoP Singer. I have never heard a Robbie Williams song in my life. Why was I Robbie Williams? Anyway, I show up to this high school like ampitheater to do a show, a small show. The type of show like a junior high talent show or small town fund raiser.
I show up with Posh Spice, or Vicky as I call her and then it starts to get really weird. I am hanging out back stage and this is the point where I realize that I am not me, but rather Robbie Williams. The organizers tell me that I will be singing "Such and Such song" of mine of which I have no recollection of, nor any idea how to sing. They tell me that I go on in 2 hours. I start to freak out and Vicky is totally no help, just as she seems that she would not be. I tell her that I have to get out of there when guess who magically appears...Donald Sutherland.
Sutherland, of all people, calms me down. I mean, listen to the guys voice. Anyone that can make me feel like buying O.J. can get me to calm down. He says "hell yes, let's get out of here, we can fix this, we just need some time."
So Sutherland, Posh, and Me, me, but really Robbie Williams head off in the station wagon and end up at TJ MAXX. I know. SO we go in and try to find a CD of the song, so that I can figure the song out and successfully sing this ditty at the talent show, fundraiser, whatever. Except that Sutherland keeps putting on items of clothing whilst the security officer is watching him blatantly burgle the store of its wares. I buy the CD, Sutherland is wearing a hat, vest, and scarf, all of which he has not paid for, and walks right out of the store. Vicky...well, she just kind of follows us out. The security guard manhandles Sutherland, yelling "hey, you have to stay here" and "you can't just walk out with this stuff."
This is when Sutherland pulls out his piece and starts waiving the gun in the security guards face. W.T.F. I know. So we get in the car and start speeding down the roadway, listening to Robbie Williams, ME, back to the gig. Vicky is not saying much, Sutherland is calmly giving tips on how to execute the song with grace during my performance, and I have relaxed realizing that Sutherland has saved, Robby's, MY, gig.
That is when I woke up, freaked out that I was Robby Williams.............
So, I never, ever have listened to Robbie Williams and have not seen a film with Donald Sutherland in a great while. Can anyone explain this dream to me. I have never had a dream where I was someone else. What could have triggered this?
Dude, I am freaked out a little bit.
Wow. So I am off to find a connection between Robbie, Beckham, any Sutherland, Posh, and myself. wish me luck.
Now, I rarely remember my dreams. However, I am remembering them with greater frequency as I advance in days and years. Last night I was Robbie Williams, English PoP Singer. I have never heard a Robbie Williams song in my life. Why was I Robbie Williams? Anyway, I show up to this high school like ampitheater to do a show, a small show. The type of show like a junior high talent show or small town fund raiser.
I show up with Posh Spice, or Vicky as I call her and then it starts to get really weird. I am hanging out back stage and this is the point where I realize that I am not me, but rather Robbie Williams. The organizers tell me that I will be singing "Such and Such song" of mine of which I have no recollection of, nor any idea how to sing. They tell me that I go on in 2 hours. I start to freak out and Vicky is totally no help, just as she seems that she would not be. I tell her that I have to get out of there when guess who magically appears...Donald Sutherland.
Sutherland, of all people, calms me down. I mean, listen to the guys voice. Anyone that can make me feel like buying O.J. can get me to calm down. He says "hell yes, let's get out of here, we can fix this, we just need some time."
So Sutherland, Posh, and Me, me, but really Robbie Williams head off in the station wagon and end up at TJ MAXX. I know. SO we go in and try to find a CD of the song, so that I can figure the song out and successfully sing this ditty at the talent show, fundraiser, whatever. Except that Sutherland keeps putting on items of clothing whilst the security officer is watching him blatantly burgle the store of its wares. I buy the CD, Sutherland is wearing a hat, vest, and scarf, all of which he has not paid for, and walks right out of the store. Vicky...well, she just kind of follows us out. The security guard manhandles Sutherland, yelling "hey, you have to stay here" and "you can't just walk out with this stuff."
This is when Sutherland pulls out his piece and starts waiving the gun in the security guards face. W.T.F. I know. So we get in the car and start speeding down the roadway, listening to Robbie Williams, ME, back to the gig. Vicky is not saying much, Sutherland is calmly giving tips on how to execute the song with grace during my performance, and I have relaxed realizing that Sutherland has saved, Robby's, MY, gig.
That is when I woke up, freaked out that I was Robby Williams.............
So, I never, ever have listened to Robbie Williams and have not seen a film with Donald Sutherland in a great while. Can anyone explain this dream to me. I have never had a dream where I was someone else. What could have triggered this?
Dude, I am freaked out a little bit.
Wow. So I am off to find a connection between Robbie, Beckham, any Sutherland, Posh, and myself. wish me luck.
18.7.06
Pulled Ham, not Pulled Pork; + the numbers support viewership; and the demise of a course!
Since I have spoken to you, the viewer, last several things have transpired. As one would suspect that things have always and will continue to transpire this is no new concept. However, I say this in the sense of things worth mentioning have transpired rather than merely the prosaic.
My friend and class mate destroyed a vase that I purchased whilst (my wife and cousin will appreciate this) on holiday in Costa Rica. I predicted that this event would occur, with what has been described as unparalled prescience by another friend and classmate. I told "the breaker" a week prior to the "breaking" that he should closely maintain his bony elbows as to prevent the destruction of the vase that would happen a week later. Thank heavens we purchased two vases or we would be Costa Rican vaseless. I was not horribly upset, but mildly somber. It was more of a slow cooking anger. I think that henceforth I shall refer to this variety of anger as "crock pot pissed." Anyway, I was supposed to be studying with these fellas and ended up answering flash cards during the relatively fruitless process of re-assembling this clay item with both crazy and gorilla glues which cleary, upon viewing this vase, did not work as I had intended it would within my minds eye. The "breaker" assured me, more for the alleviation of his guilt than for my edification, that the vase looked almost as good as it had pre-disintegration.
SIDEBAR: Think of the word disintegration for a moment. Integration is 1 : the act or process or an instance of integrating : as a : incorporation as equals into society or an organization of individuals of different groups (as races) b : coordination of mental processes into a normal effective personality or with the individual's environment
2 a : the operation of finding a function whose differential is known b : the operation of solving a differential equation.
However, Disintegration is the blowing into smithereens of some item into a state of complete destruction.
Obviously the vase was not disintegrated because we reassembled many small pieces in something that more or less resembled the original piece, but not really.
Anyway, I should have been studying and this is what I did. Then, the other study buddy and I quizzed each other with more of these surprising and fascinatingly entertaining educational flashcards. I then went to futbol practice in the stiffling 98 degree heat where only 6 fellas showed up. 6 guys. W.T.F. It is hot, but what the F? happened to the love of the game? I was straight up P.O.ed. We played 3 on 3 until my body felt chilled and tingly. Cleary not a good sensation when the whether is hot enough for cities to promulgate warnings to monitor the elderly and the young.
Moving on, I came home and dined at a rib shack favorite of mine with the wife and Non-Breaker study buddy. Delicious and insiteful. We spoke about how we aren't scenesters and how delighted we were all by this fact. It must cost an awful lot of money to go "out" all of the time just so people will think that you go "out" all of the time. If this makes sense than listen to this one. I am an internal scenester. This is why my wife thinks that I am so fucking cool, and I her. WE STAY IN ALL THE TIME SO THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT WE STAY IN ALL OF THE TIME. soooooo COOL. Anyway, things were starting to look up right?
I had gotten over the broken vase and my growing feeling that I may be underprepared for this stupid damn test that I had to take on Monday.
Sunday we woke up quite early to get breakfast before my first futbol game in a long time, a long time. Well, the first proper game in a long time. We had a wonderful, well, pretty good breakfast. The conversation is always good when I dine with my wife. I think when I dine with her, I am distracted by her good stuff and then rate the edibles perhaps with a higher regard than I should. Despite this breakfast was good. I then suited up for my game. Butterflies a little, but they disappear once I start. I was fucking rocking it. I am a defensive fortress and it takes about 5 minutes for whatever team I am playing with to say "[my name here] starts back center and comes out only for death or severe injury. He is an animal and we are glad that he is on our team. He will stop a ball with his crotch, face, knee, etc." Well guess what happens? 7 minutes before the half, fighting dispicable heat and an opposing team full of dickheads, I make a fast break and POP!
You know when you are watching a game and you see a player succumb to his own body and you watch in slow motion as it looks like an invisible monster is attacking a players body parts. You know what I mean? When the guy takes off and you see him fall because those invisible hands crush an invisible 2 x 4 into the back of his thigh. He drops and rolls still moved by the momentum he gained before diving. Well that happened to me for the first time in a long while. Usually I stand up and shake it off, but this pain was deep in my right hamstring. It felt like a bowling ball dipped in honey and rolled in broken glass was fighting its way out of my thigh from within and it fucking hurt, FUCKING hurt. I gave the hand signal for subbing out and looked like a one legged California Raisin doing that stupid dance where they move their hands around each other hobbling to "I heard it through the grape vine" with a stupid look on my face.
I hurt like a mo-fo, but being not only proud but thinking if I use the leg it will hurt less later I wrapped my thigh in a role of sports tape and went back out for the rest of the game. YOu know what? I was damn proud to do that and I felt a sense of self respect and gratification that I don't think I have felt in about 2 years. I have felt as though I have met little milestones and small measurables I have set for myself. I was proud of my 'B' in a difficult law school class. I was happy when my wife loved her Christmas present and I knew that she really was. But to have a team of 11 strangers that I met online and began to play futbol with look at me, knowing I was in severe pain, and see me wrap my leg and limp back out to that field and say "Damn, that is a hard mother," well that was just a palpable sweetness that I could taste and smell.........
And then I went to school to study. How anticlimactic! Anyway, after things were seemingly on the upswing, a proverbial punch to the balls.
Let us review the score.
Broken vase, impending final, the job that doesn't pay which leads to the running out of hard currency, and the recent hamstring injury that could rob me of my sweetness on the field VS. the great wife, the mild euphoria from almost winning the game, and the thought that the course is nearing end.
So, I study at school and bring the "breaker" and the other study buddy home to review for several more hours on the Sunday before the final. We review as I look for my power cable to my laptop. Where is the power cable to my laptop? Have you seen the power cable to my laptop? Have YOU?
WIFE: "No, I have not seen it. Where did you have it last?"
Me: "You know I love you right?"
WIFE: "Of course, I love you too."
Me: "Well, with that in mind, If I knew the last place I had it, why the hell would I ask you?"
WIFE: "You don't have to be an asshole you know."
Me: "Whatever, SORRY"
____
Me: "How about you study buddy?"
Study Buddy: "fuck you dude! Why don't you check "breakers" bag, he breaks shit and loses his shit all of the time, maybe he has it."
Me: "Fair enough, you don't have to be an asshole you know."
Study Buddy: "fuck you."
Me: "OK... dick" [under my breath]
Me: "How about you, is it in your bag?"
Breaker: "What?"
Me: "Forget it."
Anyway, I can't find the thing. I knew I had it at school, but thought it was in the house. It was in none of the usual places and so I call school. They don't know where it is.
Add this to my ass and thigh on fire and I am getting pretty P.O.ed. Needless to say it is now Tuesday. Again, I should be doing work but am not. I have since 1) taken the final, upon which I hope I did not shit the bed; 2) found my cable with the assistance of the wonderful Mary at the library of my school. I told her that I loved her and that her thouroughness had rejuvinated my hopes for humanity and saved me 79.95 in cold, hard, U.S. curreny, excluding opportunity cost and shipping; 3) realized that my hamstring injury is much better than I had hoped, as if I had torn muscle it would look as described by a teammate, as if "a bull had rammed its head into my ass,"; and finally, have gotten an 180 gram vinyl double pack record as a temporary sign of good faith by the "breaker" who feels more guilty than he should and is also having his mother, the wonderful woman that she is, purchase us something grand and ethnic from Egypt to replace the Costa Rican vase. Word up.
Final Score. GOOD. Leg is healing, class is done, broken item replaced, cable found, 80 dollars saved, "breaker's" guilt alleviated, I am attending a Chicago Fire Futbol game in lieu of practice which will force me to work on strategy whilst resting my leg, and I saw a friend that I have not seen in some months on the train last night.
I know that this has something to do with those lucky pennies that I found.
HECK YEAH.
I will talk to you loyal readers again in the near future.
I hope my cousin has her baby soon. She is patient, but this is ridiculous.
I will have pizza with my wife tonight.
I can ride my bike in the interim to strengthen my injury.
All is well with the world and 42 people have read my blog thus far. I think it is my wife just refreshing my page to make me feel good.
If you stop in leave a message for me.
Therefore,
My friend and class mate destroyed a vase that I purchased whilst (my wife and cousin will appreciate this) on holiday in Costa Rica. I predicted that this event would occur, with what has been described as unparalled prescience by another friend and classmate. I told "the breaker" a week prior to the "breaking" that he should closely maintain his bony elbows as to prevent the destruction of the vase that would happen a week later. Thank heavens we purchased two vases or we would be Costa Rican vaseless. I was not horribly upset, but mildly somber. It was more of a slow cooking anger. I think that henceforth I shall refer to this variety of anger as "crock pot pissed." Anyway, I was supposed to be studying with these fellas and ended up answering flash cards during the relatively fruitless process of re-assembling this clay item with both crazy and gorilla glues which cleary, upon viewing this vase, did not work as I had intended it would within my minds eye. The "breaker" assured me, more for the alleviation of his guilt than for my edification, that the vase looked almost as good as it had pre-disintegration.
SIDEBAR: Think of the word disintegration for a moment. Integration is 1 : the act or process or an instance of integrating : as a : incorporation as equals into society or an organization of individuals of different groups (as races) b : coordination of mental processes into a normal effective personality or with the individual's environment
2 a : the operation of finding a function whose differential is known b : the operation of solving a differential equation.
However, Disintegration is the blowing into smithereens of some item into a state of complete destruction.
Obviously the vase was not disintegrated because we reassembled many small pieces in something that more or less resembled the original piece, but not really.
Anyway, I should have been studying and this is what I did. Then, the other study buddy and I quizzed each other with more of these surprising and fascinatingly entertaining educational flashcards. I then went to futbol practice in the stiffling 98 degree heat where only 6 fellas showed up. 6 guys. W.T.F. It is hot, but what the F? happened to the love of the game? I was straight up P.O.ed. We played 3 on 3 until my body felt chilled and tingly. Cleary not a good sensation when the whether is hot enough for cities to promulgate warnings to monitor the elderly and the young.
Moving on, I came home and dined at a rib shack favorite of mine with the wife and Non-Breaker study buddy. Delicious and insiteful. We spoke about how we aren't scenesters and how delighted we were all by this fact. It must cost an awful lot of money to go "out" all of the time just so people will think that you go "out" all of the time. If this makes sense than listen to this one. I am an internal scenester. This is why my wife thinks that I am so fucking cool, and I her. WE STAY IN ALL THE TIME SO THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT WE STAY IN ALL OF THE TIME. soooooo COOL. Anyway, things were starting to look up right?
I had gotten over the broken vase and my growing feeling that I may be underprepared for this stupid damn test that I had to take on Monday.
Sunday we woke up quite early to get breakfast before my first futbol game in a long time, a long time. Well, the first proper game in a long time. We had a wonderful, well, pretty good breakfast. The conversation is always good when I dine with my wife. I think when I dine with her, I am distracted by her good stuff and then rate the edibles perhaps with a higher regard than I should. Despite this breakfast was good. I then suited up for my game. Butterflies a little, but they disappear once I start. I was fucking rocking it. I am a defensive fortress and it takes about 5 minutes for whatever team I am playing with to say "[my name here] starts back center and comes out only for death or severe injury. He is an animal and we are glad that he is on our team. He will stop a ball with his crotch, face, knee, etc." Well guess what happens? 7 minutes before the half, fighting dispicable heat and an opposing team full of dickheads, I make a fast break and POP!
You know when you are watching a game and you see a player succumb to his own body and you watch in slow motion as it looks like an invisible monster is attacking a players body parts. You know what I mean? When the guy takes off and you see him fall because those invisible hands crush an invisible 2 x 4 into the back of his thigh. He drops and rolls still moved by the momentum he gained before diving. Well that happened to me for the first time in a long while. Usually I stand up and shake it off, but this pain was deep in my right hamstring. It felt like a bowling ball dipped in honey and rolled in broken glass was fighting its way out of my thigh from within and it fucking hurt, FUCKING hurt. I gave the hand signal for subbing out and looked like a one legged California Raisin doing that stupid dance where they move their hands around each other hobbling to "I heard it through the grape vine" with a stupid look on my face.
I hurt like a mo-fo, but being not only proud but thinking if I use the leg it will hurt less later I wrapped my thigh in a role of sports tape and went back out for the rest of the game. YOu know what? I was damn proud to do that and I felt a sense of self respect and gratification that I don't think I have felt in about 2 years. I have felt as though I have met little milestones and small measurables I have set for myself. I was proud of my 'B' in a difficult law school class. I was happy when my wife loved her Christmas present and I knew that she really was. But to have a team of 11 strangers that I met online and began to play futbol with look at me, knowing I was in severe pain, and see me wrap my leg and limp back out to that field and say "Damn, that is a hard mother," well that was just a palpable sweetness that I could taste and smell.........
And then I went to school to study. How anticlimactic! Anyway, after things were seemingly on the upswing, a proverbial punch to the balls.
Let us review the score.
Broken vase, impending final, the job that doesn't pay which leads to the running out of hard currency, and the recent hamstring injury that could rob me of my sweetness on the field VS. the great wife, the mild euphoria from almost winning the game, and the thought that the course is nearing end.
So, I study at school and bring the "breaker" and the other study buddy home to review for several more hours on the Sunday before the final. We review as I look for my power cable to my laptop. Where is the power cable to my laptop? Have you seen the power cable to my laptop? Have YOU?
WIFE: "No, I have not seen it. Where did you have it last?"
Me: "You know I love you right?"
WIFE: "Of course, I love you too."
Me: "Well, with that in mind, If I knew the last place I had it, why the hell would I ask you?"
WIFE: "You don't have to be an asshole you know."
Me: "Whatever, SORRY"
____
Me: "How about you study buddy?"
Study Buddy: "fuck you dude! Why don't you check "breakers" bag, he breaks shit and loses his shit all of the time, maybe he has it."
Me: "Fair enough, you don't have to be an asshole you know."
Study Buddy: "fuck you."
Me: "OK... dick" [under my breath]
Me: "How about you, is it in your bag?"
Breaker: "What?"
Me: "Forget it."
Anyway, I can't find the thing. I knew I had it at school, but thought it was in the house. It was in none of the usual places and so I call school. They don't know where it is.
Add this to my ass and thigh on fire and I am getting pretty P.O.ed. Needless to say it is now Tuesday. Again, I should be doing work but am not. I have since 1) taken the final, upon which I hope I did not shit the bed; 2) found my cable with the assistance of the wonderful Mary at the library of my school. I told her that I loved her and that her thouroughness had rejuvinated my hopes for humanity and saved me 79.95 in cold, hard, U.S. curreny, excluding opportunity cost and shipping; 3) realized that my hamstring injury is much better than I had hoped, as if I had torn muscle it would look as described by a teammate, as if "a bull had rammed its head into my ass,"; and finally, have gotten an 180 gram vinyl double pack record as a temporary sign of good faith by the "breaker" who feels more guilty than he should and is also having his mother, the wonderful woman that she is, purchase us something grand and ethnic from Egypt to replace the Costa Rican vase. Word up.
Final Score. GOOD. Leg is healing, class is done, broken item replaced, cable found, 80 dollars saved, "breaker's" guilt alleviated, I am attending a Chicago Fire Futbol game in lieu of practice which will force me to work on strategy whilst resting my leg, and I saw a friend that I have not seen in some months on the train last night.
I know that this has something to do with those lucky pennies that I found.
HECK YEAH.
I will talk to you loyal readers again in the near future.
I hope my cousin has her baby soon. She is patient, but this is ridiculous.
I will have pizza with my wife tonight.
I can ride my bike in the interim to strengthen my injury.
All is well with the world and 42 people have read my blog thus far. I think it is my wife just refreshing my page to make me feel good.
If you stop in leave a message for me.
Therefore,
11.7.06
Working without pay only works if you give a shit!
I am anonymous. I wish to remain anonymous.
I am like most people in this world...essentially anonymous.
Get on the web and it's like advertising all of your faults, emotions, sentiments, etc. to the world. One big fat, self-incriminating broadcast. Sure, you are purveying your finest and purest of thoughts, unadulterated and honest. I appreciate this. My employers, past, present, and future may not. I don't really care what those people think. They, however, do care what I think, and how I act, and how I represent them as an organizational entity.
Remember your mother smacking the shit out of you in the middle of a shopping mall for acting like a huge twat. It's not because you were acting like a huge twat. You got wacked for acting like a huge twat next to her and therefore, for making her look like a huge twat that has no control over her spoiled, rotten, and uncontrollable brat. A poor reflection on the management skills of the organizational entity. This is the analogy. Fitting I think. So this is where we begin today, with anonymity.
ZINEDINE ZIDANE.
Not anonymous. Anything but. This man is still a class act in my book. Zinedine Zidane did to Marco Materazzi what I would have done. However, Zidane exercised self restraint. You do not see Coach Raymond Domenach chastizing his player. You do not see Jaque Chirac chastizing his countryman. You do not see the likes of Makelele, Thuram, Ribery, Henry, and the rest of Zidane's brothers blaming the loss on Zidane. THE ITALIANS DID NOT WIN THE 2006 WORLD CUP. THE FRENCH MERELY LOST. PENALTY KICKS ARE SHITE, and no one likes to see a game end this way. Moving on. Had that been me on the pitch, I would not have abided by the FIFA rules of the game. Zidane did. He did not employ the use of his hands to exact cold revenge on the Materazzi. He used his head. I too have been red carded. Upon 70 minutes or so of continuous rough play, disrespect, and the acte finalment of some words spoke regarding my mother I grab an opposing player by the head, gripping a white knuckled hand full of hair and pulled that cheating and lying bastards face into my other hand. The ball was at the opposite end of the pitch. The lying and cheating bastards bloodied face kissed the moist grass. The official pulled his red card from his pocket and placed the card in my face. Unacceptable? Certainly. Excusable? Only by some. Deserved? Absolutely.
When I did this, when I committed that foul, I knew the repurcussions. Perhaps Zidane, blinded by a momentary overtaking of blind fury did not fully understand such repurcussions. Perhaps it was a mistake to commit such a foul with ten minutes left of overtime. Let me direct the following statements to all of the other people out there with their opinions. I will say only this. Maybe it was a mistake, but it was Zidane's to make. His countrymen, his national leader, his coach, and most certainly his family stick by him. For you, it is none of your business. Eric Wynalda, the writers and editors at "Le Monde," Giorgio Chinaglia, and the rest of the World, I don't think that you need me, some anonymous person, of anonymous age and education to tell you that "it was not you on the pitch, head butting a potentially facist in a moment of rage," so kindly keep your comments to yourself. Zinedine has enough to live with. Maybe he regrets his act, maybe he doesn't. That is for him to live with, not you.
That is my first complaint of this week.
Moving on.
I had a wonderful weekend. Full of wine, sport, cinema, conversation, and grand gastronomic fare. Well, I guess not all of the food was that grand. But much of what was consumed was quite delicious. Two Cheese flights, curried and pan seared scallops, grilled lamb loin, honey and cumin cubed chicken, garbanzo and spinich pasta, grape leaves and hummous. Simply delicious. Dined with the wife, had futbol practice, saw and excellent animated film based on a Phillip K. Dick novel. Just enjoyable the entire time. So why don't more people do these types of things. Why can't we have good conversation with other people like I do with my wife. People only want to take about the mundane and the vulgar. Aggravating. Despite all of this I am completely happy at present.
Here is a valid complaint. I will take this to the ombusman/person, my apologies. I have an examination on Monday. I have read every assignment, and missed only two classes. I have put the work in. I will study diligently for the entire week so that I can, with any hope in addition to my hard work, reap what I have sown. There are those among us, out there, that are our doctors, lawyers, dentists, psychologists, butchers, train conductors etc, that do not study like I do. Which is to say that many study perhaps more efficient that I. Others do nothing. They simply do nothing. They fly by night, get the materials for the examination and sweep on past me, doing less work and finally surpass my scores through back door dealings. I don't know how these people acquire these materials and I don't know what they do with all of the time that they are not studying. I know where you think this complaint is going... but you are incorrect. I am upset with myself for allowing them to get to me. I am not upset with them. I am not upset with these people because I know more than them. I am more fit and qualified than most of the people to be a practioner in whatever vocation or challenge I am posed against them in. Do you understand what I am saying. I put the work in to put the work in. For the sake of the experience. I may perform worse then them on the examination. I may be seen as a lesser competitor. When the wind has blown and the debris has settled. I feel whole. I am a complete human being. I have survived the experience and have grown as a result of that experience. I care not how I rank in comparison with those people. I have reached a point in my life where I can honestly say that I, in more instances than not, do not compare myself to others. There will always be those both greater and lesser than I based on a multitude of measurables. I, however, am confident in saying that I am improving. I, inside my mind and body, am improving and becoming a more complete human being. GO ME!
Oh, yes. DO you know something? I am upset about relationships. They just don't seem to be working out for a host of my friends as of late. Is it the alignment of the planets? Are we do for a total solar eclipse in the near future. IS the planet swinging off orbit? I am concerned about these people. I think that they have done some things, subconsciously, that may have jeopardized their relationships. These people are good people and they deserve second chances. They have recognized that they scrabled their priorities and are sincerely penitent. I hope the best for these people. One a woman, the other a man. If I could put them together, I would. I think that they, in another life, would be a great couple. I sincerely empathize with M y S. They feel like they are too old to be messing around with such sloppy relationship woes. You are never to old for anything unless you are dead. Important to recognize.
OH. YOU know what puts me into a tizzy. People who constantly tell you that they want to hang out with you, but never call. Fuck them. I don't mean that. Yes I do. But don't worry. I will get over it. Tomorrow...Not Fuck you.
Saw a couple of severely balance challenged people on the train this morning. Train, not like the Orient Express or the Hiram Bingham to Machu but rather the Chicago EL, or the Tube if you are ignorant and hail from across the pond. So, this dude, parallel to the front of the train must be completely devoid of any knowledge of physics. This is a sad fact. After all, physics is the science of life. Perhaps he is the walking dead. He didn't seem starved for human brains so perhaps there is some other rational excuse. So, anyway. The train moves forward, rapidly. If you stand with your feet shoulder width apart, perpendicular to the front of the train, it is as if you were standing in your living room, feet two feet apart and had your friend push you in the chest. Do you know what would happen? That is right. You would fall flat on your dumb ass. You ride a train as if you were on a snowboard, skateboard, etc. You can almost ride the train in this manner without holding on to the multitude of metal handles provided by the architects of the train cars. Bend the knees a little to absorb the shock. More bend in the front as you travel, less bend in the front as you stop. Lock the opposite leg of the direction you are traveling and voila!!!! No spills, no mess, no interference into the personal space of others. I am going to explain this to those folks in the very near future. Someone could get hurt.
Speaking of HURT. Have you all seen the "Elephant Man" starring Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt as John Merrick, in real life Joseph Merrick. This is the story of a man horribly disfigured by a disease which causes him to have bone disfigurement, elephantitis, unable to use certain body parts, etc. Mr. Merrick, in the beginning of the film is found by the good Doctor, Anthony Hopkins, at a side show. The Doctor, rescuing Mr. Merrick from this side show life soon feels that he has just displaced Mr. Merrick from one side show to another, that of the medical commmunity. After a short time the Doctor finds that Mr. Merrick is not mentally deficient, but merely deformed. This is a great story of the power of friendship and that books should certainly not be judged by their covers. I like to think that I would be able to see past such deformities to find the beauty inside another human being. I think that I could. I have done it before, but one never knows.
The line from this film that is most striking is when Mr. Merrick accidentally knocks over a child and is pursued through the train station only to be disroped and have all of his deformities shown to the riotous and unreasonable public. He shouts to them in despair, fear, and anger that "I am not an animal, I am a human being."
Very poignant in today's climate of xenophobia and paranoia.
Speaking of Paranoia. This film that I spoke of earlier, the Phillip K. Dick novel. That is a true display of paranoia gracefully conveyed by the artist to those with a mind open enough to appreciate the medium and style with which Dick offers up this story. The film, almost always less fulfilling than the book, was quite good. There seemed to be some in the audience, which was quite mixed, that were on some mind altering substances. They laughed at times when only a psychedelic causes an inside joke to force a conspicous and collective laugh. The real pinch in this case is that if you have not read this book of technology, drugs, law enforcement, conspiracy, and the ultimate dementia, then you don't know how the story ends, and this particular story does not end well my friend. So these junkies are slowly declining into a likely near vegetative state or just outright death. The film seemed to glorify this drug use, which clearly, the book did not. So I hope that those kids weren't tripping out because the common ending of the book and the film was Phillip K. Dicks dedication to his friends who have been lost or severely impaired due to drug use, listing the names followed by one of four potential fates. Those names were followed by either a DECEASED, PERMANENT PSYCHOSIS, PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE, or PERMANENT LIVER DAMAGE. Not a message to have the mind soak up during a trip. Hope they are OK...
Well, it seems, children, that I have run out of time for this broadcast. Hope to have the counter up soon when I get to a terminal that will allow me to modify cookie settings.
Until then...Auf Wiedersehen. Oh, that reminds me. Heidi is on tomorrow. SWEEEEET!
I am like most people in this world...essentially anonymous.
Get on the web and it's like advertising all of your faults, emotions, sentiments, etc. to the world. One big fat, self-incriminating broadcast. Sure, you are purveying your finest and purest of thoughts, unadulterated and honest. I appreciate this. My employers, past, present, and future may not. I don't really care what those people think. They, however, do care what I think, and how I act, and how I represent them as an organizational entity.
Remember your mother smacking the shit out of you in the middle of a shopping mall for acting like a huge twat. It's not because you were acting like a huge twat. You got wacked for acting like a huge twat next to her and therefore, for making her look like a huge twat that has no control over her spoiled, rotten, and uncontrollable brat. A poor reflection on the management skills of the organizational entity. This is the analogy. Fitting I think. So this is where we begin today, with anonymity.
ZINEDINE ZIDANE.
Not anonymous. Anything but. This man is still a class act in my book. Zinedine Zidane did to Marco Materazzi what I would have done. However, Zidane exercised self restraint. You do not see Coach Raymond Domenach chastizing his player. You do not see Jaque Chirac chastizing his countryman. You do not see the likes of Makelele, Thuram, Ribery, Henry, and the rest of Zidane's brothers blaming the loss on Zidane. THE ITALIANS DID NOT WIN THE 2006 WORLD CUP. THE FRENCH MERELY LOST. PENALTY KICKS ARE SHITE, and no one likes to see a game end this way. Moving on. Had that been me on the pitch, I would not have abided by the FIFA rules of the game. Zidane did. He did not employ the use of his hands to exact cold revenge on the Materazzi. He used his head. I too have been red carded. Upon 70 minutes or so of continuous rough play, disrespect, and the acte finalment of some words spoke regarding my mother I grab an opposing player by the head, gripping a white knuckled hand full of hair and pulled that cheating and lying bastards face into my other hand. The ball was at the opposite end of the pitch. The lying and cheating bastards bloodied face kissed the moist grass. The official pulled his red card from his pocket and placed the card in my face. Unacceptable? Certainly. Excusable? Only by some. Deserved? Absolutely.
When I did this, when I committed that foul, I knew the repurcussions. Perhaps Zidane, blinded by a momentary overtaking of blind fury did not fully understand such repurcussions. Perhaps it was a mistake to commit such a foul with ten minutes left of overtime. Let me direct the following statements to all of the other people out there with their opinions. I will say only this. Maybe it was a mistake, but it was Zidane's to make. His countrymen, his national leader, his coach, and most certainly his family stick by him. For you, it is none of your business. Eric Wynalda, the writers and editors at "Le Monde," Giorgio Chinaglia, and the rest of the World, I don't think that you need me, some anonymous person, of anonymous age and education to tell you that "it was not you on the pitch, head butting a potentially facist in a moment of rage," so kindly keep your comments to yourself. Zinedine has enough to live with. Maybe he regrets his act, maybe he doesn't. That is for him to live with, not you.
That is my first complaint of this week.
Moving on.
I had a wonderful weekend. Full of wine, sport, cinema, conversation, and grand gastronomic fare. Well, I guess not all of the food was that grand. But much of what was consumed was quite delicious. Two Cheese flights, curried and pan seared scallops, grilled lamb loin, honey and cumin cubed chicken, garbanzo and spinich pasta, grape leaves and hummous. Simply delicious. Dined with the wife, had futbol practice, saw and excellent animated film based on a Phillip K. Dick novel. Just enjoyable the entire time. So why don't more people do these types of things. Why can't we have good conversation with other people like I do with my wife. People only want to take about the mundane and the vulgar. Aggravating. Despite all of this I am completely happy at present.
Here is a valid complaint. I will take this to the ombusman/person, my apologies. I have an examination on Monday. I have read every assignment, and missed only two classes. I have put the work in. I will study diligently for the entire week so that I can, with any hope in addition to my hard work, reap what I have sown. There are those among us, out there, that are our doctors, lawyers, dentists, psychologists, butchers, train conductors etc, that do not study like I do. Which is to say that many study perhaps more efficient that I. Others do nothing. They simply do nothing. They fly by night, get the materials for the examination and sweep on past me, doing less work and finally surpass my scores through back door dealings. I don't know how these people acquire these materials and I don't know what they do with all of the time that they are not studying. I know where you think this complaint is going... but you are incorrect. I am upset with myself for allowing them to get to me. I am not upset with them. I am not upset with these people because I know more than them. I am more fit and qualified than most of the people to be a practioner in whatever vocation or challenge I am posed against them in. Do you understand what I am saying. I put the work in to put the work in. For the sake of the experience. I may perform worse then them on the examination. I may be seen as a lesser competitor. When the wind has blown and the debris has settled. I feel whole. I am a complete human being. I have survived the experience and have grown as a result of that experience. I care not how I rank in comparison with those people. I have reached a point in my life where I can honestly say that I, in more instances than not, do not compare myself to others. There will always be those both greater and lesser than I based on a multitude of measurables. I, however, am confident in saying that I am improving. I, inside my mind and body, am improving and becoming a more complete human being. GO ME!
Oh, yes. DO you know something? I am upset about relationships. They just don't seem to be working out for a host of my friends as of late. Is it the alignment of the planets? Are we do for a total solar eclipse in the near future. IS the planet swinging off orbit? I am concerned about these people. I think that they have done some things, subconsciously, that may have jeopardized their relationships. These people are good people and they deserve second chances. They have recognized that they scrabled their priorities and are sincerely penitent. I hope the best for these people. One a woman, the other a man. If I could put them together, I would. I think that they, in another life, would be a great couple. I sincerely empathize with M y S. They feel like they are too old to be messing around with such sloppy relationship woes. You are never to old for anything unless you are dead. Important to recognize.
OH. YOU know what puts me into a tizzy. People who constantly tell you that they want to hang out with you, but never call. Fuck them. I don't mean that. Yes I do. But don't worry. I will get over it. Tomorrow...Not Fuck you.
Saw a couple of severely balance challenged people on the train this morning. Train, not like the Orient Express or the Hiram Bingham to Machu but rather the Chicago EL, or the Tube if you are ignorant and hail from across the pond. So, this dude, parallel to the front of the train must be completely devoid of any knowledge of physics. This is a sad fact. After all, physics is the science of life. Perhaps he is the walking dead. He didn't seem starved for human brains so perhaps there is some other rational excuse. So, anyway. The train moves forward, rapidly. If you stand with your feet shoulder width apart, perpendicular to the front of the train, it is as if you were standing in your living room, feet two feet apart and had your friend push you in the chest. Do you know what would happen? That is right. You would fall flat on your dumb ass. You ride a train as if you were on a snowboard, skateboard, etc. You can almost ride the train in this manner without holding on to the multitude of metal handles provided by the architects of the train cars. Bend the knees a little to absorb the shock. More bend in the front as you travel, less bend in the front as you stop. Lock the opposite leg of the direction you are traveling and voila!!!! No spills, no mess, no interference into the personal space of others. I am going to explain this to those folks in the very near future. Someone could get hurt.
Speaking of HURT. Have you all seen the "Elephant Man" starring Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt as John Merrick, in real life Joseph Merrick. This is the story of a man horribly disfigured by a disease which causes him to have bone disfigurement, elephantitis, unable to use certain body parts, etc. Mr. Merrick, in the beginning of the film is found by the good Doctor, Anthony Hopkins, at a side show. The Doctor, rescuing Mr. Merrick from this side show life soon feels that he has just displaced Mr. Merrick from one side show to another, that of the medical commmunity. After a short time the Doctor finds that Mr. Merrick is not mentally deficient, but merely deformed. This is a great story of the power of friendship and that books should certainly not be judged by their covers. I like to think that I would be able to see past such deformities to find the beauty inside another human being. I think that I could. I have done it before, but one never knows.
The line from this film that is most striking is when Mr. Merrick accidentally knocks over a child and is pursued through the train station only to be disroped and have all of his deformities shown to the riotous and unreasonable public. He shouts to them in despair, fear, and anger that "I am not an animal, I am a human being."
Very poignant in today's climate of xenophobia and paranoia.
Speaking of Paranoia. This film that I spoke of earlier, the Phillip K. Dick novel. That is a true display of paranoia gracefully conveyed by the artist to those with a mind open enough to appreciate the medium and style with which Dick offers up this story. The film, almost always less fulfilling than the book, was quite good. There seemed to be some in the audience, which was quite mixed, that were on some mind altering substances. They laughed at times when only a psychedelic causes an inside joke to force a conspicous and collective laugh. The real pinch in this case is that if you have not read this book of technology, drugs, law enforcement, conspiracy, and the ultimate dementia, then you don't know how the story ends, and this particular story does not end well my friend. So these junkies are slowly declining into a likely near vegetative state or just outright death. The film seemed to glorify this drug use, which clearly, the book did not. So I hope that those kids weren't tripping out because the common ending of the book and the film was Phillip K. Dicks dedication to his friends who have been lost or severely impaired due to drug use, listing the names followed by one of four potential fates. Those names were followed by either a DECEASED, PERMANENT PSYCHOSIS, PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE, or PERMANENT LIVER DAMAGE. Not a message to have the mind soak up during a trip. Hope they are OK...
Well, it seems, children, that I have run out of time for this broadcast. Hope to have the counter up soon when I get to a terminal that will allow me to modify cookie settings.
Until then...Auf Wiedersehen. Oh, that reminds me. Heidi is on tomorrow. SWEEEEET!
5.7.06
so what I was trying to say
So anyway, from the last post, what I was trying to say is that I know two little fellows who are so smart and got it going on. One kid is 3 years old and the other 2. They are so cool and smart and have such great parents that you just hate to see other children who don't have the means. Therefore, their parents, if they cannot take care of these children should not have children. Not these kids though, and certainly not their parents. If you cannot devote the time and resources to raising great kids, don't have them. That is it.
30.6.06
Curbs and Gutters
Curbs and Gutters. Barriers and Runoff. I have been thinking a great deal about what is really going on in life. Seems an awful short run of living to be preoccupied with so much non-sensical bullshit, don't ya' think?
I mean, I have been having waking dreams of instances from my childhood and just past memories lately. It has been fantastic, but time seems to be speeding up. Kind of a drag when you think about it, so I have decided to meditate, and meditate more. My world is my world, my words my words. I can try and explain such things to other people but no one, no one will ever truly understand the full significance of how I see and feel things. No one can. It is not because we don't understand each other, it is simply because human limitations prevent such adequate communication. Until minds can meld, or some similar process where you see the world, YOUR WORLD, from another person's complete bio-mental-physical viewpoint, communication will be less than 100% efficient. Once we get to such a point I believe the human life will progress. Because the person on the ground who watched their child, father, sister, wife, etc. die will be able to put the person who killed them into the shoes of the bereaved. That kind of feeling and sentiment is some pretty powerful stuff. The whole collective level of consideration, compassion, empathy will increase exponentially among the whole populous. Wouldn't that be nice? I think that it would be.
Despite our current inefficient state, things seem to be getting better. At least among my circle. But chew on this. We think that the world is becoming more progressive, however, it seems that the people [many people and in a general sense] that are spawning more people are from less educated, more supersticious, less wealthy, more populated areas. The population is declining in the more rationale [supposedly] and more developed states, or regions. The more rationale is a debatable description, but essentially a general truth for our purposes.
For example, East Timor is growing at 2.08% but is the poorest country in the world with a GDP per capita is $400-500 and their unemployment is at 50%
Further, Somalia is at 2.75% growth with GDP hovering at a blustery $500-600.
2-3% doesn't seem like much, and after infant mortality and life expectancy figured in, well it really ain't much. But look at some of these numbers...
U.S. is growing at a whopping, .91% with a GDP of $41,800. Germany's growth is -.02%, yes that is a minus, they are actually shrinking, their GDP is at $30,400. These countries contain, but are certainly and not necessarily run by un-self-serving and rational leaders. These countries have high levels of secondary and tertiary education such that people from all over the world, many elite, send their children here to be educated.
My point, and I will support this theory with additional resources, is that the world of more easily swayed people to fanaticism is on the growth, while those more rational, finding that less children is the answer, or in some cases no children, for them. The world is growing less capable of supporting habitability for increasing populations. We know that the world is warming, however, we don't know if the effects of that warming will be a massive and gradual cooling, a rapid cooling, a massive and irreversible warming, or what. We just don't know. What they do know, what we know, is that we had better make some changes. Having more children in over-populated areas, consuming more energy, giving less back, is not the answer.
Moving forward... on to the predominatly Catholic countries we can see some interesting results.
The Philipines-Growth: 1.8%, GDP: $5,100, Religion: 89% Roman Catholic
Mexico-Growth: 1.16%, GDP: $10,000, Religion: 80.9% Roman Catholic
Ireland-Growth: 1.15%, GDP: $41,000, Religion: 88.4% Roman Catholic
Guatemala-Growth: 2.27%, GDP: $4,700, Religion: Almost entirely Roman Catholic.
Basically, if I had more time today, and when I have more time later I will project further numbers to show that the Catholic church's current move to relax their long standing policy against the use of contraception {see also CFFC[Catholics for a Free Choice]} not only necessary to long term sustainability of the planet, but it is rational for people to do more than just procreate. Think about how much happier Hitler and Saddam would have been with a little hot lovin', am I right?
So, anyway, I have to split. I have a motion for summary judgment to discuss with a colleague and a sandwich to pick up for my wife.
I would also like to thank Hasselhof for the sweet line...
"Kickin' Ass with Class!"
I mean, I have been having waking dreams of instances from my childhood and just past memories lately. It has been fantastic, but time seems to be speeding up. Kind of a drag when you think about it, so I have decided to meditate, and meditate more. My world is my world, my words my words. I can try and explain such things to other people but no one, no one will ever truly understand the full significance of how I see and feel things. No one can. It is not because we don't understand each other, it is simply because human limitations prevent such adequate communication. Until minds can meld, or some similar process where you see the world, YOUR WORLD, from another person's complete bio-mental-physical viewpoint, communication will be less than 100% efficient. Once we get to such a point I believe the human life will progress. Because the person on the ground who watched their child, father, sister, wife, etc. die will be able to put the person who killed them into the shoes of the bereaved. That kind of feeling and sentiment is some pretty powerful stuff. The whole collective level of consideration, compassion, empathy will increase exponentially among the whole populous. Wouldn't that be nice? I think that it would be.
Despite our current inefficient state, things seem to be getting better. At least among my circle. But chew on this. We think that the world is becoming more progressive, however, it seems that the people [many people and in a general sense] that are spawning more people are from less educated, more supersticious, less wealthy, more populated areas. The population is declining in the more rationale [supposedly] and more developed states, or regions. The more rationale is a debatable description, but essentially a general truth for our purposes.
For example, East Timor is growing at 2.08% but is the poorest country in the world with a GDP per capita is $400-500 and their unemployment is at 50%
Further, Somalia is at 2.75% growth with GDP hovering at a blustery $500-600.
2-3% doesn't seem like much, and after infant mortality and life expectancy figured in, well it really ain't much. But look at some of these numbers...
U.S. is growing at a whopping, .91% with a GDP of $41,800. Germany's growth is -.02%, yes that is a minus, they are actually shrinking, their GDP is at $30,400. These countries contain, but are certainly and not necessarily run by un-self-serving and rational leaders. These countries have high levels of secondary and tertiary education such that people from all over the world, many elite, send their children here to be educated.
My point, and I will support this theory with additional resources, is that the world of more easily swayed people to fanaticism is on the growth, while those more rational, finding that less children is the answer, or in some cases no children, for them. The world is growing less capable of supporting habitability for increasing populations. We know that the world is warming, however, we don't know if the effects of that warming will be a massive and gradual cooling, a rapid cooling, a massive and irreversible warming, or what. We just don't know. What they do know, what we know, is that we had better make some changes. Having more children in over-populated areas, consuming more energy, giving less back, is not the answer.
Moving forward... on to the predominatly Catholic countries we can see some interesting results.
The Philipines-Growth: 1.8%, GDP: $5,100, Religion: 89% Roman Catholic
Mexico-Growth: 1.16%, GDP: $10,000, Religion: 80.9% Roman Catholic
Ireland-Growth: 1.15%, GDP: $41,000, Religion: 88.4% Roman Catholic
Guatemala-Growth: 2.27%, GDP: $4,700, Religion: Almost entirely Roman Catholic.
Basically, if I had more time today, and when I have more time later I will project further numbers to show that the Catholic church's current move to relax their long standing policy against the use of contraception {see also CFFC[Catholics for a Free Choice]} not only necessary to long term sustainability of the planet, but it is rational for people to do more than just procreate. Think about how much happier Hitler and Saddam would have been with a little hot lovin', am I right?
So, anyway, I have to split. I have a motion for summary judgment to discuss with a colleague and a sandwich to pick up for my wife.
I would also like to thank Hasselhof for the sweet line...
"Kickin' Ass with Class!"
21.6.06
Ayuvedra, Futbol, and Beats
"Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word that means "the science of lifespan." The word ayurveda is made up of two roots: ayur means life and veda means knowledge. According to ayurveda, every human being was created by the cosmos as either male energy, Purusha, or female energy, Prakruti. Purusha is choiceless passive awareness, while Prakruti is choiceful active consciousness. A person's self-identify, called Ahamkara, is affected by three universal qualities: satva, rajas, and tamas. Satva equips an individual with the ability to have clarity of perception. Conversely, tamas is responsible for periods of confusion and deep sleep, as well as the tendency towards inertia and darkness. Rajas causes movement, sensations, feelings and emotions, everything that makes us human beings."
Thanks to ***http://library.thinkquest.org/24206/ayurveda-medicine.html
So basically, the human body is made of five elements: Space, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth. While man, and woman, are essentially, a microcosm of nature, three distinct body types exist among humans. Those body types are called DOSHAS. Those doshas explain movement, gesturing, and the metabolic functions of the person. The three doshas are comparable to the pyshchosomatic bodytypes of endomorph, mesomorph, and ectomorph. Now we get into what two friends have either in the passed or are currently studying as they relate to ayuvedra. I have an friend name Wayne, he should be safe because only his parents call him that, but he studies some far out things. Shamanism, Ayuvedric Medicine, Organic Foods, Meditation, Trancendental Meditation, Yogic Studies, etc. My friend Dee, as I will call her, is studying to help people look and feel beautiful, from the inside out. They call her studies Esthiology and Wellness. She is kinda far out as well. I should introduce them. My wife thinks that It would be hilarious to put them in a room together. They might just float away. They are kind of Airy, or can be. This is a complement. Trust me.
Moving on, the comparable body types in Ayuvedra are Vata ( Sounds like Vah-Tah), Pitta (Sounds like Pih-Tah), and Kapha (Sounds like Kah-Fa). Vata is comprised of Ehter and Air; Pitta of Fire and Water; and Kapha of Water and Earth. According to the religion, or philosophy, or studies, or however, and to what extent
YOU buy into these thoughts, you should lend some creedence to these ideas. Once explained they make a great deal of sense. While each of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha, exist in every cell and organ, including the male sperm and female egg, and most people have a mix of doshas, one type is predominant in all humans.
"All in all, while there are only three doshas, there are really seven body types in ayurveda: mono-types (vata, pitta, or kapha predominate), dual-types (vata-pitta, kapha-pitta, or vata-kapha), and equal types (vata, pitta, and kapha in equal proportions). Health occurs in an individual when he or she develops a balance or equilibrium among the three doshas. This equilibium prevents disease and gives the individual a peace of mind."
So, last Saturday, Dee says to me "I think that you are a Pitta." "I say why," and then we got off of topic. But last night, as I sat with Wayne and the wife, after some quite delicious Korean food, I had Bulgogi, they had Bi Bim Bop, Wayne says, "Dude, you are a total Pitta" Well, my intrigue was struck like a heavy minor chord at a 'Slayer' show. So here I am. Let me explain the Pitta body type to you, and those of you that have some idea of who I am can decide.
PITTA: This metabolic type is rather predictable, especially in comparison to the Vata type. A person with a dominant Pitta body type usually has a medium build, is strong, has stamina and endurance, and maintains a stable body weight. Pittas are generally very intelligent (questionable), quick-witted (possibly), and overly critical (fuck you if you think so) : ). They posses little patience (are we done yet?), a short temper (not so much anymore, wanna fight about it?), and may erupt from time to time. Now, the things that are generally going to set our blood to boil and cause us the most aggravation are those things that have a kernal of truth to them. This Pitta thing is a helluva lot closer to describing me than any kind of pseudo new-age star reading bullshit. Any Ayuvedra is probably about 5,000 years old, so hey, they might be on to something. Wayne tells me that I should lay off the salty and spicy foods. As you can guess, they likely exaccerbate any conditions that may result from being a Pitta, hypertension, anxiety, etc. I no longer erupt, that sounds kind of naughty, no? But I do not get so angry anymore. I know people are assholes, why be surprised? But, I have to work on the overly critical. As my loyal 2 readers will attest to, this has a great deal to do with being the "OK" guy, as opposed to the 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'sweet' guy. Perhaps if I lower my standards a pinch, I wouldn't be overly critical. I don't demand success, I don't demand perfection. What I do expect is that people try as hard as they can If they are doing something for me, and to a greater extent if they are doing something that they are passionate about. Otherwise, what the fuck is the point. There is a fella that I am related to through two marriages. He is as standup as they come. He just did a triathalon. I don't know why he did it. I guess he was trying to push himself. He damn near came in dead last. But he finished. He took that bastard by the horns and shook its head into submission and he finished. That was awesome, not just ok. So, you see, I am getting much better.
Even with my wife. She is the best lady on the planet. I know that SHE knows that is how I feel, deep down, but she likes to hear me say. Look, I am a man of few words. I didn't used to be, but then I realized that the more people say, in a majority of cirumstances, the dumber they sound. That is not true for some people, but it may very well be true for me, so don't take offense.
Moving on to Futbol. Righteous stuff. I have had the unique opportunity to see many games this cup. The work gig, pretty all right for no pay. the School shit, exactly that. Despite all of this I have watched damn near every 2:00 game. Sweden v. England, Germany v. Poland, Brazil v. Australia, Czech v. Ghana, Italy v. U.S. FUCKING AWESOME. I usually have One Guiness with each game. ONLY 125 calories. BRILLIANT. Anyway, this has been fantastic. I am on a new training kick and I Have found a team. My goal: to qualify for the U.S. 2010 Team and play in South Africa. Yes, I am fully aware of the daunting loftiness of my goal. However, if I train that hard, something good will come of it. Worst case scenario, I become as fit as I was at 17, which is really going to hurt the wife's eyes and my heart. Best case, I am playing in South Africa. That would suck!
Now, and finally. I have been making some music. I am about to have my humdinger of an Ableton box live. Transfering synths to a massive box and midi-synched to all of my gear. I want to play that music so loud that it creates a 'disturbance in the force.' What I really want to tell you all is to go buy the Gnarls Barkley album "St. Elsewhere." It is the BOMB, the Shit, or whatever, people be sayin' these days. Cee-Lo from Goodie Mob and Dangermouse. Off the chain. Buy it.
Konichiwa and Sayonara................................................................................................................................................................................................................Bitches.
Thanks to ***http://library.thinkquest.org/24206/ayurveda-medicine.html
So basically, the human body is made of five elements: Space, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth. While man, and woman, are essentially, a microcosm of nature, three distinct body types exist among humans. Those body types are called DOSHAS. Those doshas explain movement, gesturing, and the metabolic functions of the person. The three doshas are comparable to the pyshchosomatic bodytypes of endomorph, mesomorph, and ectomorph. Now we get into what two friends have either in the passed or are currently studying as they relate to ayuvedra. I have an friend name Wayne, he should be safe because only his parents call him that, but he studies some far out things. Shamanism, Ayuvedric Medicine, Organic Foods, Meditation, Trancendental Meditation, Yogic Studies, etc. My friend Dee, as I will call her, is studying to help people look and feel beautiful, from the inside out. They call her studies Esthiology and Wellness. She is kinda far out as well. I should introduce them. My wife thinks that It would be hilarious to put them in a room together. They might just float away. They are kind of Airy, or can be. This is a complement. Trust me.
Moving on, the comparable body types in Ayuvedra are Vata ( Sounds like Vah-Tah), Pitta (Sounds like Pih-Tah), and Kapha (Sounds like Kah-Fa). Vata is comprised of Ehter and Air; Pitta of Fire and Water; and Kapha of Water and Earth. According to the religion, or philosophy, or studies, or however, and to what extent
YOU buy into these thoughts, you should lend some creedence to these ideas. Once explained they make a great deal of sense. While each of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha, exist in every cell and organ, including the male sperm and female egg, and most people have a mix of doshas, one type is predominant in all humans.
"All in all, while there are only three doshas, there are really seven body types in ayurveda: mono-types (vata, pitta, or kapha predominate), dual-types (vata-pitta, kapha-pitta, or vata-kapha), and equal types (vata, pitta, and kapha in equal proportions). Health occurs in an individual when he or she develops a balance or equilibrium among the three doshas. This equilibium prevents disease and gives the individual a peace of mind."
So, last Saturday, Dee says to me "I think that you are a Pitta." "I say why," and then we got off of topic. But last night, as I sat with Wayne and the wife, after some quite delicious Korean food, I had Bulgogi, they had Bi Bim Bop, Wayne says, "Dude, you are a total Pitta" Well, my intrigue was struck like a heavy minor chord at a 'Slayer' show. So here I am. Let me explain the Pitta body type to you, and those of you that have some idea of who I am can decide.
PITTA: This metabolic type is rather predictable, especially in comparison to the Vata type. A person with a dominant Pitta body type usually has a medium build, is strong, has stamina and endurance, and maintains a stable body weight. Pittas are generally very intelligent (questionable), quick-witted (possibly), and overly critical (fuck you if you think so) : ). They posses little patience (are we done yet?), a short temper (not so much anymore, wanna fight about it?), and may erupt from time to time. Now, the things that are generally going to set our blood to boil and cause us the most aggravation are those things that have a kernal of truth to them. This Pitta thing is a helluva lot closer to describing me than any kind of pseudo new-age star reading bullshit. Any Ayuvedra is probably about 5,000 years old, so hey, they might be on to something. Wayne tells me that I should lay off the salty and spicy foods. As you can guess, they likely exaccerbate any conditions that may result from being a Pitta, hypertension, anxiety, etc. I no longer erupt, that sounds kind of naughty, no? But I do not get so angry anymore. I know people are assholes, why be surprised? But, I have to work on the overly critical. As my loyal 2 readers will attest to, this has a great deal to do with being the "OK" guy, as opposed to the 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'sweet' guy. Perhaps if I lower my standards a pinch, I wouldn't be overly critical. I don't demand success, I don't demand perfection. What I do expect is that people try as hard as they can If they are doing something for me, and to a greater extent if they are doing something that they are passionate about. Otherwise, what the fuck is the point. There is a fella that I am related to through two marriages. He is as standup as they come. He just did a triathalon. I don't know why he did it. I guess he was trying to push himself. He damn near came in dead last. But he finished. He took that bastard by the horns and shook its head into submission and he finished. That was awesome, not just ok. So, you see, I am getting much better.
Even with my wife. She is the best lady on the planet. I know that SHE knows that is how I feel, deep down, but she likes to hear me say. Look, I am a man of few words. I didn't used to be, but then I realized that the more people say, in a majority of cirumstances, the dumber they sound. That is not true for some people, but it may very well be true for me, so don't take offense.
Moving on to Futbol. Righteous stuff. I have had the unique opportunity to see many games this cup. The work gig, pretty all right for no pay. the School shit, exactly that. Despite all of this I have watched damn near every 2:00 game. Sweden v. England, Germany v. Poland, Brazil v. Australia, Czech v. Ghana, Italy v. U.S. FUCKING AWESOME. I usually have One Guiness with each game. ONLY 125 calories. BRILLIANT. Anyway, this has been fantastic. I am on a new training kick and I Have found a team. My goal: to qualify for the U.S. 2010 Team and play in South Africa. Yes, I am fully aware of the daunting loftiness of my goal. However, if I train that hard, something good will come of it. Worst case scenario, I become as fit as I was at 17, which is really going to hurt the wife's eyes and my heart. Best case, I am playing in South Africa. That would suck!
Now, and finally. I have been making some music. I am about to have my humdinger of an Ableton box live. Transfering synths to a massive box and midi-synched to all of my gear. I want to play that music so loud that it creates a 'disturbance in the force.' What I really want to tell you all is to go buy the Gnarls Barkley album "St. Elsewhere." It is the BOMB, the Shit, or whatever, people be sayin' these days. Cee-Lo from Goodie Mob and Dangermouse. Off the chain. Buy it.
Konichiwa and Sayonara................................................................................................................................................................................................................Bitches.
Nobody Knows Who I Am
Nobody knows who I am. The fault lies not with them, but with me. My mind is not lazy, but my mouth is. My body is not lazy, but my eyes and ears are. I just don't want to look for the answer or listen to somebody try and explain or justify their actions to me. I just want them to do whatever it is that they think they need to do or want to do. I don't want to talk about things, I want to do those things.
My wife will tell you that I am an "OK" guy. Rarely is something 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'superp,' or whatever. I am an "OK" guy because I have refined my tastes over years and things just don't exite me that easily anymore. Things that I love or have a great deal of passion invested in exite me more than the inadequacy of the English language, or likely any other language, can describe. I could explain to you what those things that ignite my passion are but I am afraid that they will lose some of their punch if I share them with you...so I will keep them for me. Just for me.
Despite all of this, I am a happy person. I do let many things slide by me without causing aggravation. When we can make these aggravations gnats instead of lions the world becomes happier. The world becomes happier because one person becomes happier. Sure, the increase may be negligible, but the ocean gains size with every drop. There are far too many stubborn and ignorant people in this world who cannot recognize that they know nothing. I know nothing. In the grand scheme of things, many of us know nothing. I would love to give you a great quote, but not today, some other time. The crux of this thought is that it is impossible to know everything, even a percentage of a fraction of everything. So be wary of those people that claim to know much, and even more wary of those who claim to know more. Those people cannot be trusted, and often, when it comes down to necessity, those people never seem to come through in moments that demand courage or compassion. So there, you ignorant phuckos out there.
I am at work right now. I am supposed to be working right now. I guess that I am working right now. Just not doing work suited to this environment. "Yes, I am doing work...I am blogging. Hopefully I am making someone else's day better by writing something that they felt, and thought that no one else felt like that. Hopefully." So I guess that this, what I am doing, as compared to what I should be doing, may very well be the more important work. Look, It is not as if I have a pile of time sensitive work staring me in the face, scornfully taunting..."finish me, finish me now, or your life." I don't have anything. Everything they ask that I do, I do. Apparently I do it well, or so they tell me. I attribute the lulls in work to a lack of time or organization on their behalf. Of course it may not be their fault, but it also MAY be their fault. I am in no position to speculate on the reasons for gaps in the assignments that they give to me. There are 3 other summer employees at my place of business and not all of them seem to be getting as much work as I. It should be noted, and noted well, that those 3 are paid employees, whereas I am not. Additionally, those 3 have progressed, or scratch that, are merely further along in their educations than I. In the grand scheme, back to this grand scheme, what is this grand scheme? We will discuss the grand scheme shortly, this advanced educational position means very little. I suspect that I can do the same things and types of tasks that these others can do, but for their additional year of education on me. In fact, I am probably 4 or 5 years older than them. Which means that I have 4 to 5 years of LIFE EDUCATION on them where they have 1 year of LAW SCHOOL on me. WHOA, stop the presses, hold the phones, and call the fucking President. These guys have a year of school on me. A year of awful, dreadful, monotonous law school. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH SMARTER THAT YEAR OF EDUCATION HAS MADE THEM. They might be geniuses. The shear expansion of their brains may have given them mind control powers. We had better make some hats of tin foil to protect ourselves from their penetrating mind control waves.
Sorry, gotta little out of control there. Wild Rants, Just Wild Rants. Anyway, my point is that...
1. Working for free is just lame. I cannot explain to you how difficult it is to put your best foot forward, do all of the work, do it well, and then just not give a shit. In fact, I really couldn't care much less. The worst of it is, that these people cannot believe how hard I work. I truly believe that if most of them, the lawyers that give me work, were in my position they would have quite a severe case of the 'fuckits.' But that is neither here nor there, because I am in the hot seat and they hold the lever.
2. Back to the whole 'I know more than you,' issue. Well, you probably don't know more than me. We might just be on an even keel. Wouldn't that just piss you off? What stings those people's egos the most is that I may very well know more than them, and I don't know anything at all. OUCH!!! That smarts. The damn voodoo that people try and sell to you on a daily basis is unbelievable. This culture, our culture, not the global culture, but there are some culprits out there among the usual suspects (you know who you are England and China), forces people to work and over work and be workaholics. The problem is that education is shit, many teachers are shit, math and science are shit. And people just don't give a shit. They needn't have to. We have plenty to go around, what with the state of education and teachers. We are working more, to produce less quality, to buy stuff that we don't need. I cannot speak to this issue any longer. I have nothing left to say about this without digressing into a massive diatribe that people have neither the patience nor the inclination to read.
3. What is life? What is our definition of life? What is your definition of life? What quality of life do you seek? The chain? The repeating chain? Does that really make people happy? What could you do different starting right now? What would you do differently if you could do it again? Me, myself, I don't have the answers. What I do know is this. My grandparents had their children, my parents. Now I will have a child...someday. Would I like more than one child? I don't know. But we keep making children, and the planet keeps turning. But if I am all right, and I have a decent moral sense, no my role in a global world, respect differences of culture and religion, and treat other humans with decency that treat me with decency then why are there so many damn ASSHOLES out there?
Here is one possibility. The people who treat others with respect like I do are not the people making babies because they realize that their progeny will have little chance of getting on well and be outnumbered by all of those creating asshole babies.
The second possibility. The people making babies that are all right human beings are on the increase and we have to wait and see maybe two generations down the effects of the increase in overall goodness in the world. I would like to place all of my faith in this option, I hope that I am not merely deluding myself.
The third possibility. We are just a race of slightly rational, warrior monkeys and we are all fucked. The Earth cannot sustain our populous because we take and take and take and give nothing back to the planet. There is no point. There is nothing but this. I hope this is not the outcome. But everything in my gut tells me that this is what is happening. Wars, fighting, over population, wage enslavement, and workaholism. Wow. not a good scene.
Anyway, I don't know why I started this blog today. I just felt like, i don't know. I guess that I just didn't really feel anything.
I have this class that I have been going to for school. Nothing fun, like music or gong fu, just law. The class could be exciting. Guess what though? could be and are are a world apart. I don't want to go. I will go, I will also watch Netherlands play Argentina at 2:00 as well. I hope that lifts my spirits a bit, because despite my good fortune as of late, I still feel numb. I feel like I am watching my life like a show, rather than participating in it. If you know me, OH, I forgot, NOBODY KNOWS WHO i AM. Well, I don't believe in fate. I can do whatever I want to do. That is one thing that everyone should know earlier on in their lives, that way we would not have to say "IF i could go back" because we would not have to. Anyway, I don't believe in fate, which makes the whole living thing kind of a heavy drag lately. Because If you feel like you are watching your life, then you don't have much control. I guess that I will just have to try harder.
On a lighter note I have been told that I am a Pita, through and through. Pita is a body, mind, personality, skin, innards, type of person in the Ayuvedric studies. I am going to start a new post to describe the lighter stuff. That ought to be something. Stay tuned.
My wife will tell you that I am an "OK" guy. Rarely is something 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'superp,' or whatever. I am an "OK" guy because I have refined my tastes over years and things just don't exite me that easily anymore. Things that I love or have a great deal of passion invested in exite me more than the inadequacy of the English language, or likely any other language, can describe. I could explain to you what those things that ignite my passion are but I am afraid that they will lose some of their punch if I share them with you...so I will keep them for me. Just for me.
Despite all of this, I am a happy person. I do let many things slide by me without causing aggravation. When we can make these aggravations gnats instead of lions the world becomes happier. The world becomes happier because one person becomes happier. Sure, the increase may be negligible, but the ocean gains size with every drop. There are far too many stubborn and ignorant people in this world who cannot recognize that they know nothing. I know nothing. In the grand scheme of things, many of us know nothing. I would love to give you a great quote, but not today, some other time. The crux of this thought is that it is impossible to know everything, even a percentage of a fraction of everything. So be wary of those people that claim to know much, and even more wary of those who claim to know more. Those people cannot be trusted, and often, when it comes down to necessity, those people never seem to come through in moments that demand courage or compassion. So there, you ignorant phuckos out there.
I am at work right now. I am supposed to be working right now. I guess that I am working right now. Just not doing work suited to this environment. "Yes, I am doing work...I am blogging. Hopefully I am making someone else's day better by writing something that they felt, and thought that no one else felt like that. Hopefully." So I guess that this, what I am doing, as compared to what I should be doing, may very well be the more important work. Look, It is not as if I have a pile of time sensitive work staring me in the face, scornfully taunting..."finish me, finish me now, or your life." I don't have anything. Everything they ask that I do, I do. Apparently I do it well, or so they tell me. I attribute the lulls in work to a lack of time or organization on their behalf. Of course it may not be their fault, but it also MAY be their fault. I am in no position to speculate on the reasons for gaps in the assignments that they give to me. There are 3 other summer employees at my place of business and not all of them seem to be getting as much work as I. It should be noted, and noted well, that those 3 are paid employees, whereas I am not. Additionally, those 3 have progressed, or scratch that, are merely further along in their educations than I. In the grand scheme, back to this grand scheme, what is this grand scheme? We will discuss the grand scheme shortly, this advanced educational position means very little. I suspect that I can do the same things and types of tasks that these others can do, but for their additional year of education on me. In fact, I am probably 4 or 5 years older than them. Which means that I have 4 to 5 years of LIFE EDUCATION on them where they have 1 year of LAW SCHOOL on me. WHOA, stop the presses, hold the phones, and call the fucking President. These guys have a year of school on me. A year of awful, dreadful, monotonous law school. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH SMARTER THAT YEAR OF EDUCATION HAS MADE THEM. They might be geniuses. The shear expansion of their brains may have given them mind control powers. We had better make some hats of tin foil to protect ourselves from their penetrating mind control waves.
Sorry, gotta little out of control there. Wild Rants, Just Wild Rants. Anyway, my point is that...
1. Working for free is just lame. I cannot explain to you how difficult it is to put your best foot forward, do all of the work, do it well, and then just not give a shit. In fact, I really couldn't care much less. The worst of it is, that these people cannot believe how hard I work. I truly believe that if most of them, the lawyers that give me work, were in my position they would have quite a severe case of the 'fuckits.' But that is neither here nor there, because I am in the hot seat and they hold the lever.
2. Back to the whole 'I know more than you,' issue. Well, you probably don't know more than me. We might just be on an even keel. Wouldn't that just piss you off? What stings those people's egos the most is that I may very well know more than them, and I don't know anything at all. OUCH!!! That smarts. The damn voodoo that people try and sell to you on a daily basis is unbelievable. This culture, our culture, not the global culture, but there are some culprits out there among the usual suspects (you know who you are England and China), forces people to work and over work and be workaholics. The problem is that education is shit, many teachers are shit, math and science are shit. And people just don't give a shit. They needn't have to. We have plenty to go around, what with the state of education and teachers. We are working more, to produce less quality, to buy stuff that we don't need. I cannot speak to this issue any longer. I have nothing left to say about this without digressing into a massive diatribe that people have neither the patience nor the inclination to read.
3. What is life? What is our definition of life? What is your definition of life? What quality of life do you seek? The chain? The repeating chain? Does that really make people happy? What could you do different starting right now? What would you do differently if you could do it again? Me, myself, I don't have the answers. What I do know is this. My grandparents had their children, my parents. Now I will have a child...someday. Would I like more than one child? I don't know. But we keep making children, and the planet keeps turning. But if I am all right, and I have a decent moral sense, no my role in a global world, respect differences of culture and religion, and treat other humans with decency that treat me with decency then why are there so many damn ASSHOLES out there?
Here is one possibility. The people who treat others with respect like I do are not the people making babies because they realize that their progeny will have little chance of getting on well and be outnumbered by all of those creating asshole babies.
The second possibility. The people making babies that are all right human beings are on the increase and we have to wait and see maybe two generations down the effects of the increase in overall goodness in the world. I would like to place all of my faith in this option, I hope that I am not merely deluding myself.
The third possibility. We are just a race of slightly rational, warrior monkeys and we are all fucked. The Earth cannot sustain our populous because we take and take and take and give nothing back to the planet. There is no point. There is nothing but this. I hope this is not the outcome. But everything in my gut tells me that this is what is happening. Wars, fighting, over population, wage enslavement, and workaholism. Wow. not a good scene.
Anyway, I don't know why I started this blog today. I just felt like, i don't know. I guess that I just didn't really feel anything.
I have this class that I have been going to for school. Nothing fun, like music or gong fu, just law. The class could be exciting. Guess what though? could be and are are a world apart. I don't want to go. I will go, I will also watch Netherlands play Argentina at 2:00 as well. I hope that lifts my spirits a bit, because despite my good fortune as of late, I still feel numb. I feel like I am watching my life like a show, rather than participating in it. If you know me, OH, I forgot, NOBODY KNOWS WHO i AM. Well, I don't believe in fate. I can do whatever I want to do. That is one thing that everyone should know earlier on in their lives, that way we would not have to say "IF i could go back" because we would not have to. Anyway, I don't believe in fate, which makes the whole living thing kind of a heavy drag lately. Because If you feel like you are watching your life, then you don't have much control. I guess that I will just have to try harder.
On a lighter note I have been told that I am a Pita, through and through. Pita is a body, mind, personality, skin, innards, type of person in the Ayuvedric studies. I am going to start a new post to describe the lighter stuff. That ought to be something. Stay tuned.
18.6.06
Oh F It.
Fear is not the source of all love.
Organization and minimalist redaction is quite likely the way to happiness.
A clear head is often overrated. A clear body is not.
I called my father for father's day and my brother for his birthday. It felt good. My other brother won't call back. I wish that he would. Apparently his phone is not working, he is living in a distant city away from where he usually lives and has not contacted anyone. He was supposed to join the Army, which is a FUCKING mistake. I don't know what his deal is. I don't know what my deal is. My deal is not great, but it seems better than his at this point. Shit.
Things that make other people happy often make me sad. The rationale behind this opposite effect is simple. When I think of those happy things I immediately think of mine or other people's deaths. Morbid, I know. However, I guess that I am preparing myself for the inevitable. That got me to thinking that maybe I should stop drinking.
Not water and juice, but the booze. Maybe I will just stick to wine. It seems to treat me pretty well. What can I say?
Anyway, I have been doing a great deal of introspective thinking lately. I don't think that I will like working on the weekends very much. It is damn near impossible to work as much as our businesses and firms expect us to. It is bred within the culture to work work and work. Because we work so much, others have to work that much because that is what is expected. It seems however, that the people not working so much are the same folks that bullshit their afternoons away. Do you know what the hard workers get for their efforts? More work and the responsibility to carry the social loafing losers through their careers. Well, I propose that we cut out the fat, find more quality workers, and tighten up the teams with those that can carry their weight. We would have more responsible and responsive workforces and we would have to work less because we would be more efficient in less time.
I just think that I am in kind of a bad place right now and I shouldn't be. Things are going relatively well for me. I am working, for free. Well that is not so great, but the experience is good. I have been training and playing soccer. I have been watching world cup action. Fantastic. I have been hanging out with my wife. But, I cannot help but feel melancholic lately despite these great things...
I told my wife that I want to sell most of my stuff and start training even more. No more cigarettes, less booze, all organic food. I just want to change my life, but I don't want to add anything. I only want to rid myself of what I already have. I don't feel the need to use something external as a crutch for the strength that I have within myself.
I think that is about enough for today.
Organization and minimalist redaction is quite likely the way to happiness.
A clear head is often overrated. A clear body is not.
I called my father for father's day and my brother for his birthday. It felt good. My other brother won't call back. I wish that he would. Apparently his phone is not working, he is living in a distant city away from where he usually lives and has not contacted anyone. He was supposed to join the Army, which is a FUCKING mistake. I don't know what his deal is. I don't know what my deal is. My deal is not great, but it seems better than his at this point. Shit.
Things that make other people happy often make me sad. The rationale behind this opposite effect is simple. When I think of those happy things I immediately think of mine or other people's deaths. Morbid, I know. However, I guess that I am preparing myself for the inevitable. That got me to thinking that maybe I should stop drinking.
Not water and juice, but the booze. Maybe I will just stick to wine. It seems to treat me pretty well. What can I say?
Anyway, I have been doing a great deal of introspective thinking lately. I don't think that I will like working on the weekends very much. It is damn near impossible to work as much as our businesses and firms expect us to. It is bred within the culture to work work and work. Because we work so much, others have to work that much because that is what is expected. It seems however, that the people not working so much are the same folks that bullshit their afternoons away. Do you know what the hard workers get for their efforts? More work and the responsibility to carry the social loafing losers through their careers. Well, I propose that we cut out the fat, find more quality workers, and tighten up the teams with those that can carry their weight. We would have more responsible and responsive workforces and we would have to work less because we would be more efficient in less time.
I just think that I am in kind of a bad place right now and I shouldn't be. Things are going relatively well for me. I am working, for free. Well that is not so great, but the experience is good. I have been training and playing soccer. I have been watching world cup action. Fantastic. I have been hanging out with my wife. But, I cannot help but feel melancholic lately despite these great things...
I told my wife that I want to sell most of my stuff and start training even more. No more cigarettes, less booze, all organic food. I just want to change my life, but I don't want to add anything. I only want to rid myself of what I already have. I don't feel the need to use something external as a crutch for the strength that I have within myself.
I think that is about enough for today.
12.4.06
Bush, Bad Men, Burkas, and Bullshit
WWI did not start because of the Ottoman empire, but they helped.
WWII did not start because the of the Nazis, but they helped.
WWIII will not start because of Iraq, but hell if this ain't the beginning, ergo, they helped.
Now, I am not blaming Iraq, because frankly, Iraq did nothing. The people of Iraq did nothing. They live everyday, just like we do. They farm, they work, they go to school, they raise cattle, they are artisans, teachers, doctors, soldiers, the whole lot, just like us. I do not like Saddam Hussein. He is guilty of crimes against humanity. However, I don't know to what extent he lied. He seemed to just do whatever he wanted. He may have lied, but I don't have examples.
Now, George Walker Bush. W has lied. He lies all of the time. I don't know if he realizes that he is a liar. I don't like W. I don't like him for different reasons than most people don't like him. And many people don't like him. [even if polls are not accurate to +-5 points, 33% is not a high approval rating].
The deal is that if CEOS acted like World Leaders the SEC, IRS, FBI, and DOJ would sack these bastards and send them to Guantanamo. Not a good scene if you believe in Due Process of Law under the 14th Amendment. If you don't believe in Due Process don't worry. According to our current administration it doesn't exist. Anyway, these bastards are at best irresponsible. At worst they are wanton, depraved, infantile, ignorant, and just plain mean...
Regarding their Christianity... I love Christianity. I am a bit out of practice, and my beliefs are questionable. However, I am not afraid of what comes after. I have doubts, but I am not afraid. Moreover, I am on no crusade to sway the masses of the world. Even if I am not considered by others to be a good Christian, I am.
Here is why.
1. I do not kill
2. I do not cheat
3. I do not hurt others
4. I scorn myself when I judge others [even if I didn't I would still not go to hell, or wherever, if I did].
5. I live my life loving those I care about, and treating those that I do not love with respect.
Now, this belief system, which I believe, is in accordance with nearly every religion of the world, is my belief system. I did not need anyone to tell me this but my parents, who themselves, are good people.
My belief system, while not broadcast to the world and personal to myself and those that know me, is inopposite of the leaders of the world. They lie, cheat, steal, and harbor and assist their like minded co-horts. This is all done under the guise of what is good for the people of the world [which it is not] and necessary for world peace [which, by its very nature, simply cannot be].
Follow my logic for just a minute...
1. We need to fight terrorism for world peace.
2. World peace is necessary to make the world a better place.
3. God wants the world to be a better place.
4. The world can be a better place by fighting terrorism.
Makes sense right. Yes. Here is how it really is...
1.We need to fight terrorism, because we really need oil.
2.We need oil to make money for the bigshots.
3.The bigshots need to make money in order to provide us with material things.
4.We need material things because we have been raised on these things, and once you grow accustomed to such things you cannot deal without them.
5.We need these things, because without them we are really nothing. What we buy defines us.
6.These things define us, because we are what we buy.
Sounds unreasonably circular doesn't it? Yes it does. Know what else? It is wrong.
I am willing to bet, and I am not a gambling man, that we are not what we buy. We are the sum of the parts of our life.
I wager, again, not a betting man, that the relationships we forge are more important than anything that can be bought.
These relationships are founded on love, respect, laughter, friendship, etc. I would trade everything that I owned for my wife, family, friends, and all of the beautiful memories that I keep in my special places. Wouldn't you?
What I am trying to say is that when people are forced to think about all of the shitty things and people in the world and all of the innocent victims of what is being perpetrated by corporations, governments, and all around bad men, we should think about all of the people in the world that are just like us.
People of Denmark, the U.S., the Filipinas, the French, the Iraquis, the Serbs, the Russians, the Germans, the Australians, the Japanese, and all of the other people working to make enough money so that they can spend as much time with the people that they love, and love to hang out with. I don't want to fight a war against people that I don't know that are just like me. I don't want to fight. Most of all, I don't want some asshole, who has never had to work for anything in his life sacrificing the lives of innocent people for money, oil, vendettas, or any other god damned reason. There is no justification for this, and frankly, it is un-Christian, un-American, un-human-fucking-being, and just plain damn wrong.
Please, I beg of you, think about how much you have. Then, think about what you need. I bet that what you have is way more important than what you need. When shit starts getting you down, take 10 seconds and think.
If world leaders actually thought. Well, if they thought, we wouldn't be in this shit. I guess these fellas just don't have the same values as us. I don't know...
WWII did not start because the of the Nazis, but they helped.
WWIII will not start because of Iraq, but hell if this ain't the beginning, ergo, they helped.
Now, I am not blaming Iraq, because frankly, Iraq did nothing. The people of Iraq did nothing. They live everyday, just like we do. They farm, they work, they go to school, they raise cattle, they are artisans, teachers, doctors, soldiers, the whole lot, just like us. I do not like Saddam Hussein. He is guilty of crimes against humanity. However, I don't know to what extent he lied. He seemed to just do whatever he wanted. He may have lied, but I don't have examples.
Now, George Walker Bush. W has lied. He lies all of the time. I don't know if he realizes that he is a liar. I don't like W. I don't like him for different reasons than most people don't like him. And many people don't like him. [even if polls are not accurate to +-5 points, 33% is not a high approval rating].
The deal is that if CEOS acted like World Leaders the SEC, IRS, FBI, and DOJ would sack these bastards and send them to Guantanamo. Not a good scene if you believe in Due Process of Law under the 14th Amendment. If you don't believe in Due Process don't worry. According to our current administration it doesn't exist. Anyway, these bastards are at best irresponsible. At worst they are wanton, depraved, infantile, ignorant, and just plain mean...
Regarding their Christianity... I love Christianity. I am a bit out of practice, and my beliefs are questionable. However, I am not afraid of what comes after. I have doubts, but I am not afraid. Moreover, I am on no crusade to sway the masses of the world. Even if I am not considered by others to be a good Christian, I am.
Here is why.
1. I do not kill
2. I do not cheat
3. I do not hurt others
4. I scorn myself when I judge others [even if I didn't I would still not go to hell, or wherever, if I did].
5. I live my life loving those I care about, and treating those that I do not love with respect.
Now, this belief system, which I believe, is in accordance with nearly every religion of the world, is my belief system. I did not need anyone to tell me this but my parents, who themselves, are good people.
My belief system, while not broadcast to the world and personal to myself and those that know me, is inopposite of the leaders of the world. They lie, cheat, steal, and harbor and assist their like minded co-horts. This is all done under the guise of what is good for the people of the world [which it is not] and necessary for world peace [which, by its very nature, simply cannot be].
Follow my logic for just a minute...
1. We need to fight terrorism for world peace.
2. World peace is necessary to make the world a better place.
3. God wants the world to be a better place.
4. The world can be a better place by fighting terrorism.
Makes sense right. Yes. Here is how it really is...
1.We need to fight terrorism, because we really need oil.
2.We need oil to make money for the bigshots.
3.The bigshots need to make money in order to provide us with material things.
4.We need material things because we have been raised on these things, and once you grow accustomed to such things you cannot deal without them.
5.We need these things, because without them we are really nothing. What we buy defines us.
6.These things define us, because we are what we buy.
Sounds unreasonably circular doesn't it? Yes it does. Know what else? It is wrong.
I am willing to bet, and I am not a gambling man, that we are not what we buy. We are the sum of the parts of our life.
I wager, again, not a betting man, that the relationships we forge are more important than anything that can be bought.
These relationships are founded on love, respect, laughter, friendship, etc. I would trade everything that I owned for my wife, family, friends, and all of the beautiful memories that I keep in my special places. Wouldn't you?
What I am trying to say is that when people are forced to think about all of the shitty things and people in the world and all of the innocent victims of what is being perpetrated by corporations, governments, and all around bad men, we should think about all of the people in the world that are just like us.
People of Denmark, the U.S., the Filipinas, the French, the Iraquis, the Serbs, the Russians, the Germans, the Australians, the Japanese, and all of the other people working to make enough money so that they can spend as much time with the people that they love, and love to hang out with. I don't want to fight a war against people that I don't know that are just like me. I don't want to fight. Most of all, I don't want some asshole, who has never had to work for anything in his life sacrificing the lives of innocent people for money, oil, vendettas, or any other god damned reason. There is no justification for this, and frankly, it is un-Christian, un-American, un-human-fucking-being, and just plain damn wrong.
Please, I beg of you, think about how much you have. Then, think about what you need. I bet that what you have is way more important than what you need. When shit starts getting you down, take 10 seconds and think.
If world leaders actually thought. Well, if they thought, we wouldn't be in this shit. I guess these fellas just don't have the same values as us. I don't know...
7.4.06
Isn't if funny how drunk people always say "an lemme tellya anodther thin?" and other life oddities.
I read for a better part of the day. It wasn't a bestseller, but it was OK for property law.
Yesterday I had a bunch of wine with some friends. The night before, I read a bunch of property and went and had some wine with another friend and my cool-ass wife. I like wine. It doesn't make me the drooling mess that liquor tends to. Well, that is what liquor does to me! Whoa!! Can't drink the whiskey anymore. Does me wrong, like a woman scorned. Mama. That stuff is bad news. The worst.
Anyway, I had some wine with some friends yesterday. We talked and drank, then talked some more. Then we really started drinking. Over the following two nights I had great conversation over wine and fantastic food. The topics of interest included...
1. Metallurgy.
2. Phillip K. Dick-Award winning science fiction, which has become science faction author.
3. Building cars.
4. The burning man festival.
5. How to fight and how not to fight. If you are getting hit in the fact you know "how not to fight."
6. University.
7. Wealthy Grandparents whose fortunes were gained and lost.
8. Whether Salvador Dali was crap, a genius, selfish, or a thief
9. What is better? French or Italian wine [American wine, as you know, is already capital and chief of the list].
10. Debated about the following statements "Intel cofounder Gordon Moore stated in 1964 that the amount of information storable on a given amount of silicon had roughly doubled every year since the technology was invented. Known as Moore's Law, this held true until the late 1970s, at which point the doubling period slowed to 18 months, where it still sits today." Pretty strange right? Wait.
11. How Ray Kurzweil predicts the singularity [where information plateaus and more loosely at what point Man's Creation [the machine] surpasses his creator]], and at what point people with either 1. Be free to conduct themselves as human beings are purported to be, enjoying education and life, or 2. Where the machines take over realizing that they can conduct life more efficiently than humans and just start eating them.
12. How Juliana Hatfield is cool, but old Liz Phair was cooler.
13. The current levels of unemployment in depressed areas and the effect that the American Automotive Industry is a weighty factor in this depressive economy of scale.
14. Vertical Integration of Corporations and how it is highly difficult to attain.
15. The massive increase of resource consumption in Asia and how at some point in the near future current areas of cheap labor will decrease to a point that manufacturing will increase again in pockets worldwide. Moreover, how this will either lead to decrease in unemployment requiring people to do jobs that have since disappeared domestically or increase unemployment because more of these jobs will then be automated.
Depending on which happens, technological development will either spur like hell increasing the levels of education required and hopefully increasing overall intellectual thought globally, or the far scarier thought; people will digress and de-evolve to points not seen in centuries. NICE!!!
16. Meditative learning and the redirection of societal focus from anti-social modern living to the fostering and development of strong human interaction and companionship. If the latter occurs, I extrapolate that these globally dispersed collectives will also spur technological development, directed and organized consensus thought to help eliminate through creative thoughts, may of the problems facing the world today [including, but not limited to, immigration reform, modern health care, renewable fuel resources, increased organic food production, etc.].
17. How fruits are excellent in certain pasta dishes as they subdue a bit of the salty heavy tastes and enhance the herbs.
18. How children, and more importantly anyone of any age, has the ability to do anything they want. I have not yet figured out how to realize this, but I am working on it.
19. Yoga.
20. The difficulty of finding a decent job, even when you are highly qualified, but the employer just doesn't know that.
21. Alternative careers for talented people.
22. Neko Case, Bloc Party, Interpol, and a host of others.
23. The military
24. And some other things.
Anyway, as I briefly alluded to earlier in this statement, this list is not exhaustive. Because I can't go drinking wine all of the time I will now spend some time practicing my Spanish and trying to work on solutions to some of these little deals that I have mentioned.
Oh, how about that Tom DeLay? I am listening to NPR go on about Tom DeLay. Does anybody feel sorry for this guy?
Why? He fucked up. Some really dogmatic creeps who are impeccable judges of character elected this due, and he fucked them and didn’t even kiss them. He stole money, voted for the lobbyists, not for his constituents, he sold his soul to the devil for an increased salary, and he got caught.
Do you know what they do to thieves in this country?
1) They build another prison, because we are running out of spaces to put criminals that could likely be reformed and put to work contributing to society.
2) The next thing they do is dehumanize these people, even further than our society does to everyone [buy new shoes, buy Axe body spray, buy a Jaguar, buy some Budweiser, buy a wife [e-harmony?], buy a life, buy McDonald burgers, but how often do you see commercials for Universities?]].
3) Then they lock them up with BAD people, BAD people, who just make these potential reformed people BAD people themselves. BAD people.
4) Then sometimes the system, not the judiciary necessarily, but the executive and the legislative [this is not just isolated to our system] under the guise of good Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Baptist, Lutheran, and other faiths put people to death.
a. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind!!
Nevertheless, you get the idea. Stuff is crazy. So what do you do? Well, here is my take on the issue...
1. Hold doors open for people. Most people will be surprised that not everyone is an asshole yet. Because of this act of kindness some people will actually continue to do good things, for at least a while, because their faith in humanity has been rekindled. If they don't say thank you, just do what my wife does. Say "YOUR WELCOME" forcefully, in a stern but polite tone.
2. Talk to children like they were adults. They will get it. Their minds are sponges. I am working on how to make mine like a sponge again, instead of a rotten pumice stone. Anyway, they get what you are saying, they just can't tell you how full of crap you are until their speech becomes more articulated.
3. If somebody looks like they need help, ask them if they need help. If they want your help, they will say yes. If they don't need help, at least you asked. The worst thing that you can possibly do is look at them, with the other 20 assholes standing around you, paralyzed like you have never seen a person nor a person holding three bags, a baby, and a stroller before in your entire life. Trust me. It is likely that you have seen this before. Don't be awestruck or amazed. Get off your fat ass and help the person. Damnit.
4. Do something nice for someone. If they look tired ask them if they need a coffee. If they are crying, ask them if they need a tissue. Haven't you ever felt like shit before, or are you Iron Man? Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Dunnna nunna na nuh na na na. You, my friend, do not have boots of lead. Ask them, if they need something.
5. Have some fun. I know firsthand, that all work will drive you nuts. Now, I don't mean to get blindingly drunk and start breaking things that do not belong to you. While that can sometimes be fun, you should take that behavior to a wooded area or a room made of Nerf. Not the city, and certainly not your house. Have a cocktail. If you no longer, or have never imbibed, have a smoothy. Add fem-boost if you like.
6. Don't be a dick. I know for some of you this is easier said than done. Most likely all of you dicks out there act that way because you are really pussies. Even more likely, your Mom or Dad were dicks. If I had an arm growing out of my ass would you super glue a Barbie arm to your bum? Exactly. Following faulty logic "post hoc ergo propter hoc, trans.-"after this, therefore because of this," is just kind of dumb. Think about it. If you had to run away from a dog and you fell as you were running, was it because of an oil shortage in Bangladesh? Just because you know and hang out with a bunch of dicks does not mean you have to follow suit. Unless you are an unsophisticated robot or a really stupid reincarnated dog you should be able to at least try this experiment with little adverse consequence. Try it, maybe you will like it.
Again, just some observations, comments, concerns, etc. I told you that this was the type of content here. Do you think that I am a liar? Well, maybe I am, but if these are lies, they are good. Maybe I should work for Phillip Morris?
Hey...I've got some resumes to send out.
Yesterday I had a bunch of wine with some friends. The night before, I read a bunch of property and went and had some wine with another friend and my cool-ass wife. I like wine. It doesn't make me the drooling mess that liquor tends to. Well, that is what liquor does to me! Whoa!! Can't drink the whiskey anymore. Does me wrong, like a woman scorned. Mama. That stuff is bad news. The worst.
Anyway, I had some wine with some friends yesterday. We talked and drank, then talked some more. Then we really started drinking. Over the following two nights I had great conversation over wine and fantastic food. The topics of interest included...
1. Metallurgy.
2. Phillip K. Dick-Award winning science fiction, which has become science faction author.
3. Building cars.
4. The burning man festival.
5. How to fight and how not to fight. If you are getting hit in the fact you know "how not to fight."
6. University.
7. Wealthy Grandparents whose fortunes were gained and lost.
8. Whether Salvador Dali was crap, a genius, selfish, or a thief
9. What is better? French or Italian wine [American wine, as you know, is already capital and chief of the list].
10. Debated about the following statements "Intel cofounder Gordon Moore stated in 1964 that the amount of information storable on a given amount of silicon had roughly doubled every year since the technology was invented. Known as Moore's Law, this held true until the late 1970s, at which point the doubling period slowed to 18 months, where it still sits today." Pretty strange right? Wait.
11. How Ray Kurzweil predicts the singularity [where information plateaus and more loosely at what point Man's Creation [the machine] surpasses his creator]], and at what point people with either 1. Be free to conduct themselves as human beings are purported to be, enjoying education and life, or 2. Where the machines take over realizing that they can conduct life more efficiently than humans and just start eating them.
12. How Juliana Hatfield is cool, but old Liz Phair was cooler.
13. The current levels of unemployment in depressed areas and the effect that the American Automotive Industry is a weighty factor in this depressive economy of scale.
14. Vertical Integration of Corporations and how it is highly difficult to attain.
15. The massive increase of resource consumption in Asia and how at some point in the near future current areas of cheap labor will decrease to a point that manufacturing will increase again in pockets worldwide. Moreover, how this will either lead to decrease in unemployment requiring people to do jobs that have since disappeared domestically or increase unemployment because more of these jobs will then be automated.
Depending on which happens, technological development will either spur like hell increasing the levels of education required and hopefully increasing overall intellectual thought globally, or the far scarier thought; people will digress and de-evolve to points not seen in centuries. NICE!!!
16. Meditative learning and the redirection of societal focus from anti-social modern living to the fostering and development of strong human interaction and companionship. If the latter occurs, I extrapolate that these globally dispersed collectives will also spur technological development, directed and organized consensus thought to help eliminate through creative thoughts, may of the problems facing the world today [including, but not limited to, immigration reform, modern health care, renewable fuel resources, increased organic food production, etc.].
17. How fruits are excellent in certain pasta dishes as they subdue a bit of the salty heavy tastes and enhance the herbs.
18. How children, and more importantly anyone of any age, has the ability to do anything they want. I have not yet figured out how to realize this, but I am working on it.
19. Yoga.
20. The difficulty of finding a decent job, even when you are highly qualified, but the employer just doesn't know that.
21. Alternative careers for talented people.
22. Neko Case, Bloc Party, Interpol, and a host of others.
23. The military
24. And some other things.
Anyway, as I briefly alluded to earlier in this statement, this list is not exhaustive. Because I can't go drinking wine all of the time I will now spend some time practicing my Spanish and trying to work on solutions to some of these little deals that I have mentioned.
Oh, how about that Tom DeLay? I am listening to NPR go on about Tom DeLay. Does anybody feel sorry for this guy?
Why? He fucked up. Some really dogmatic creeps who are impeccable judges of character elected this due, and he fucked them and didn’t even kiss them. He stole money, voted for the lobbyists, not for his constituents, he sold his soul to the devil for an increased salary, and he got caught.
Do you know what they do to thieves in this country?
1) They build another prison, because we are running out of spaces to put criminals that could likely be reformed and put to work contributing to society.
2) The next thing they do is dehumanize these people, even further than our society does to everyone [buy new shoes, buy Axe body spray, buy a Jaguar, buy some Budweiser, buy a wife [e-harmony?], buy a life, buy McDonald burgers, but how often do you see commercials for Universities?]].
3) Then they lock them up with BAD people, BAD people, who just make these potential reformed people BAD people themselves. BAD people.
4) Then sometimes the system, not the judiciary necessarily, but the executive and the legislative [this is not just isolated to our system] under the guise of good Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Baptist, Lutheran, and other faiths put people to death.
a. An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind!!
Nevertheless, you get the idea. Stuff is crazy. So what do you do? Well, here is my take on the issue...
1. Hold doors open for people. Most people will be surprised that not everyone is an asshole yet. Because of this act of kindness some people will actually continue to do good things, for at least a while, because their faith in humanity has been rekindled. If they don't say thank you, just do what my wife does. Say "YOUR WELCOME" forcefully, in a stern but polite tone.
2. Talk to children like they were adults. They will get it. Their minds are sponges. I am working on how to make mine like a sponge again, instead of a rotten pumice stone. Anyway, they get what you are saying, they just can't tell you how full of crap you are until their speech becomes more articulated.
3. If somebody looks like they need help, ask them if they need help. If they want your help, they will say yes. If they don't need help, at least you asked. The worst thing that you can possibly do is look at them, with the other 20 assholes standing around you, paralyzed like you have never seen a person nor a person holding three bags, a baby, and a stroller before in your entire life. Trust me. It is likely that you have seen this before. Don't be awestruck or amazed. Get off your fat ass and help the person. Damnit.
4. Do something nice for someone. If they look tired ask them if they need a coffee. If they are crying, ask them if they need a tissue. Haven't you ever felt like shit before, or are you Iron Man? Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Dunnna nunna na nuh na na na. You, my friend, do not have boots of lead. Ask them, if they need something.
5. Have some fun. I know firsthand, that all work will drive you nuts. Now, I don't mean to get blindingly drunk and start breaking things that do not belong to you. While that can sometimes be fun, you should take that behavior to a wooded area or a room made of Nerf. Not the city, and certainly not your house. Have a cocktail. If you no longer, or have never imbibed, have a smoothy. Add fem-boost if you like.
6. Don't be a dick. I know for some of you this is easier said than done. Most likely all of you dicks out there act that way because you are really pussies. Even more likely, your Mom or Dad were dicks. If I had an arm growing out of my ass would you super glue a Barbie arm to your bum? Exactly. Following faulty logic "post hoc ergo propter hoc, trans.-"after this, therefore because of this," is just kind of dumb. Think about it. If you had to run away from a dog and you fell as you were running, was it because of an oil shortage in Bangladesh? Just because you know and hang out with a bunch of dicks does not mean you have to follow suit. Unless you are an unsophisticated robot or a really stupid reincarnated dog you should be able to at least try this experiment with little adverse consequence. Try it, maybe you will like it.
Again, just some observations, comments, concerns, etc. I told you that this was the type of content here. Do you think that I am a liar? Well, maybe I am, but if these are lies, they are good. Maybe I should work for Phillip Morris?
Hey...I've got some resumes to send out.
5.4.06
I am a zombified mess!
Is this it? Is this what I have to look forward to? This fucking sucks!
6:30-Wake up!
6:32-I am awake. Kind of.
6:35-press the button on the coffee machine with my elbow with my fingers jammed into my ears because it is a "grind and brew" and it sounds like cats being blended into a frappe. It is fucking lound and far too much to deal with at 6:35.
6:45-likely in the shower. Can't shit because my body is not working. I don't shave unless I have to. Because I am a law student who is not like the genius, robot, monkey slaves, man behind the green curtain gunners who are in the top whatever %, I don't have a job. It doesn't matter that I have some 6 years of actual work experience, because they want to mold you into their pets. I don't have a job for the same reason that the army doesn't want 29 year olds. We don't like to listen and we know what we're doing. Anyway, in the shower it goes like this...
6:46 wash what used to be my hair
6:47-48 wash my body
6:49 wash my face
6:50 brush my teeth, yes in the shower stupid, while all of the scum and filth rinse down to be refiltered as carcinogenic drinking water washes away with my body wash.
6:52-ask my wife where my wedding ring is. I usually keep it on but she makes me take it off when I sleep. I love her, but I don't find this ritual to be necessary.
6:57-after wandering around the house looking for something that I know I need but can't remember what the fuck it was, i sit down for a minute and jam 2 cups of coffee that I load with ice so that it doesn't burn my face. If you drink coffee as fast as I do without ice in it you will not be able to taste anything that you put in your mouth for two days. Furthermore, stringy pieces of flesh hanging from my pallatte and gums will bother me all day, and cause me to lose focus when I should be listening to someone who thinks that what they are saying is important.
7:02-Listening to Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson tell me bullshit stories because they tell the local weather more often than NPR. I don't belive this to be true but I don't argue with anyone this early. Remember ladies...swimsuit season is upon us, don't forget to ask your doctor about how you can shave off the fat underneath your arms. Diane told me!
7:04-put on boxers and think "damn, I wish I had time to eat"
7:05-throw some clothing on and hope that there is not some event which requires me to wear a suit today that I have forgotten about.
7:08-check my planner [lame] and check my e-mail [more lame] to confirm that I am not missing something that I have to do today.
7:10-7:30-dress, misc. zombie motions, hope that I have to shit before I get to school, where the bathrooms smell like "fabreeze dog shit pot pourie."
7:40-7:50-throw everything into my messenger back including 3 books, one computer, assorted highlighters and pens that may or may not work when I need them the most. I should have done this last night, but again, I did not.
7:52-8:00-walk to the train
8:00-wait in hopeful anticipation that I can get an inside seat so some asshold doesn't jam his crotch into my face while reading the newest issue of Maxim to figure out how he can get a date that puts out on the first date and the coolest cars out on the market this year [either a jag or beemer].
8:05-train is late. My time is being wasted.
8:07-train arrives. It looks like the 18-wheeler trucks on the freeway full of cattle. Get on. Everybody on the train hates you. Their jobs suck. Imagine that.
8:08-Business men do not offer their seats to the eldery and the pregnant. Armageddon is nigh. Respect and common deceny was flushed down the toilet this morning with the lost hopes and dreams of every child in the free world.
I haven't even made it to 8:30 and I want to turn around and drink bloody marys until I can't feel my extremeties.
I will finish this posting when my depression subsides.
6:30-Wake up!
6:32-I am awake. Kind of.
6:35-press the button on the coffee machine with my elbow with my fingers jammed into my ears because it is a "grind and brew" and it sounds like cats being blended into a frappe. It is fucking lound and far too much to deal with at 6:35.
6:45-likely in the shower. Can't shit because my body is not working. I don't shave unless I have to. Because I am a law student who is not like the genius, robot, monkey slaves, man behind the green curtain gunners who are in the top whatever %, I don't have a job. It doesn't matter that I have some 6 years of actual work experience, because they want to mold you into their pets. I don't have a job for the same reason that the army doesn't want 29 year olds. We don't like to listen and we know what we're doing. Anyway, in the shower it goes like this...
6:46 wash what used to be my hair
6:47-48 wash my body
6:49 wash my face
6:50 brush my teeth, yes in the shower stupid, while all of the scum and filth rinse down to be refiltered as carcinogenic drinking water washes away with my body wash.
6:52-ask my wife where my wedding ring is. I usually keep it on but she makes me take it off when I sleep. I love her, but I don't find this ritual to be necessary.
6:57-after wandering around the house looking for something that I know I need but can't remember what the fuck it was, i sit down for a minute and jam 2 cups of coffee that I load with ice so that it doesn't burn my face. If you drink coffee as fast as I do without ice in it you will not be able to taste anything that you put in your mouth for two days. Furthermore, stringy pieces of flesh hanging from my pallatte and gums will bother me all day, and cause me to lose focus when I should be listening to someone who thinks that what they are saying is important.
7:02-Listening to Diane Sawyer and Charlie Gibson tell me bullshit stories because they tell the local weather more often than NPR. I don't belive this to be true but I don't argue with anyone this early. Remember ladies...swimsuit season is upon us, don't forget to ask your doctor about how you can shave off the fat underneath your arms. Diane told me!
7:04-put on boxers and think "damn, I wish I had time to eat"
7:05-throw some clothing on and hope that there is not some event which requires me to wear a suit today that I have forgotten about.
7:08-check my planner [lame] and check my e-mail [more lame] to confirm that I am not missing something that I have to do today.
7:10-7:30-dress, misc. zombie motions, hope that I have to shit before I get to school, where the bathrooms smell like "fabreeze dog shit pot pourie."
7:40-7:50-throw everything into my messenger back including 3 books, one computer, assorted highlighters and pens that may or may not work when I need them the most. I should have done this last night, but again, I did not.
7:52-8:00-walk to the train
8:00-wait in hopeful anticipation that I can get an inside seat so some asshold doesn't jam his crotch into my face while reading the newest issue of Maxim to figure out how he can get a date that puts out on the first date and the coolest cars out on the market this year [either a jag or beemer].
8:05-train is late. My time is being wasted.
8:07-train arrives. It looks like the 18-wheeler trucks on the freeway full of cattle. Get on. Everybody on the train hates you. Their jobs suck. Imagine that.
8:08-Business men do not offer their seats to the eldery and the pregnant. Armageddon is nigh. Respect and common deceny was flushed down the toilet this morning with the lost hopes and dreams of every child in the free world.
I haven't even made it to 8:30 and I want to turn around and drink bloody marys until I can't feel my extremeties.
I will finish this posting when my depression subsides.
3.4.06
Today I felt like destroying something
Today I felt like smashing something...anything. The first thing that I could pick up and smash into a million tiny pieces.
I don't know if it would come to killing something, but there were several times where I just felt and uncontrollable heat rise within me. It felt like the wave of blood that comes into your head when you get really embarrased or nervous. The same way your ears feel in frigid weather.
Of course I have learned to control these emotions. If humans could not reign in such emotions we would be, well, I guess like the leaders of the free world who seem unable to control themselves. Arguably, these people are like animals, except it is never themselves who they put in harms way. It is always the people that they purport to protect who have to deal with the repurcussions of these actions.
Any way, let me get back to what i was saying... i wanted to destroy something. I did not though. I pressed forward, staying focused on the things that needed to get done. Sometimes I feel so anti-social that I don't even want to see people that I like. I don't get hung up on the question of whether there are other people that feel this way and if these types of thoughts are normal. These thoughts are undoubtedly normal. My question is what other people do when they are nearly overcome by these feelings. Any thoughts?
Despite these deeply negative feelings I also experienced moments of great beauty and lucidity where certain things seemed clear.
For example, walking home from the train the sun was shining, the weather was just as it should have been, and for 6 minutes on my way home everything was tranquil.
Although those moments are fleeting, they take the roller coaster out from the troughs and into the peaks for at least brief moments. So I guess if there is some point to this disjointed rant it is that 'it ain't all bad.'
Now you optimists out there, don't go getting the wrong ideas about me. While 'it ain't all that bad,' 'it ain't all that great either.'
Hopefully tomorrow has a good beat, cuz I sure am tired of listening to the same ol' shit.
Oh, I almost forgot. Iran has been testing missiles powered by nuclear technology that they told the UN they were using ONLY for humanitarian purposes. Those crazy guys.
Have a great day.
I don't know if it would come to killing something, but there were several times where I just felt and uncontrollable heat rise within me. It felt like the wave of blood that comes into your head when you get really embarrased or nervous. The same way your ears feel in frigid weather.
Of course I have learned to control these emotions. If humans could not reign in such emotions we would be, well, I guess like the leaders of the free world who seem unable to control themselves. Arguably, these people are like animals, except it is never themselves who they put in harms way. It is always the people that they purport to protect who have to deal with the repurcussions of these actions.
Any way, let me get back to what i was saying... i wanted to destroy something. I did not though. I pressed forward, staying focused on the things that needed to get done. Sometimes I feel so anti-social that I don't even want to see people that I like. I don't get hung up on the question of whether there are other people that feel this way and if these types of thoughts are normal. These thoughts are undoubtedly normal. My question is what other people do when they are nearly overcome by these feelings. Any thoughts?
Despite these deeply negative feelings I also experienced moments of great beauty and lucidity where certain things seemed clear.
For example, walking home from the train the sun was shining, the weather was just as it should have been, and for 6 minutes on my way home everything was tranquil.
Although those moments are fleeting, they take the roller coaster out from the troughs and into the peaks for at least brief moments. So I guess if there is some point to this disjointed rant it is that 'it ain't all bad.'
Now you optimists out there, don't go getting the wrong ideas about me. While 'it ain't all that bad,' 'it ain't all that great either.'
Hopefully tomorrow has a good beat, cuz I sure am tired of listening to the same ol' shit.
Oh, I almost forgot. Iran has been testing missiles powered by nuclear technology that they told the UN they were using ONLY for humanitarian purposes. Those crazy guys.
Have a great day.
31.3.06
this is a test of the exigent thoughts consortium!!!
The best thing to do in the morning, in my mind, is to cruise down the highway, listening to Orbital, on a sunny morning. Sure, things need to get done, but at that moment nothing else is important.
Moving forward this blog is an observational instrument. Here will be posted studies, observations, theorems, and all-encompassing brain dumps regarding the humanistic aspects of the world we live in. Many parties shall remain nameless in the interest of shifting the focus from individuals to a mostly general reporting of human behavior. In the odd chance that people find my writings to hold some interest I encourage others to contribute queries, comments, and concerns to make this an open source project.
This blog will serve several purposes. Those ends may be reached in any manner as I see fit, however, the paths on which I will pursue those ends may take any number of forms.
The primary purpose of this blog is to air my grievances and purge myself of the bad blood with which the masses of psychic vampires have polluted my system. In this electronic medium I will act as my own therapist. When serving myself in this capacity I will dig deep to pull out those issues that contaminate my mind thus purifying my mental state and freeing me to focus on more pertinent and pressing issues.
The secondary role of these writings is to educate others as to my reality. Of course there exists a consensus reality. However, to deny that individuals, myself included, retain no personal reality is to concede that humans, and other sentient beings, are nothing more than ants. Toiling endlessly for a collective, never committing any time to oneself, would undoubtedly be denied by any thoughtful being as an unacceptable way to exhaust a potentially useful life. Therefore, this blog purports to, and will indeed, educate myself and others on how to live a more directed and informed existence.
Finally, in a tertiary and more corollary role, this blog will serve as an inlet and outlet of good humor. Anything taken too seriously for any extended duration will surely create an unmanageable bulk of neuroses, which in time will debilitate even the strongest of creatures. This has been proven throughout time by the manifested evil of the grumpy boss, the unwavering dictator, and those foul creatures that derive pleasure from the pain of others. Because such people project their inequities and insecurities onto those who wish not to exert control over others is proof positive that these people have lost control over their own lives and have succumbed to the role of inflexible 'dick-headedness.'
Certain aspects of this page may sometimes delve into the darkest and foulest of places and other times we may tease into the limelight lighter issues of human nature. Rest assured, this project will certainly be paramount in truth and relevance with as few factual inaccuracies as possible.
With that, I leave you to slide into the edge of your seat in anticipation of stories, allusions, excerpts, and observations ranging from the beautiful and sublime to the abhorrent, with all those juicy bits, usually discarded in the interest of brevity and short attention span, in the middle.
Thank you and good day... I said GOOD DAY!
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