We Are All Machines: 2008

My intent is not to add fodder to those which have already chosen a candidate. I am merely venting my disgust with our current political predicament. This is not the first, nor will it be the last, campaign based on smear and feigned hatred with the opposition in the name of political gain. However, this is a first with respect to the face of our political landscape, unique issues relating to our economy and our place in this world, and unprecedented ignorance by both parties and the American people.

I do not know any of these candidates personally, but I do know people just like them. I know people like them because I have striven to achieve, every day, a broader knowledge of life. I have done this by searching for new experiences, new relationships, and new personal growth. I have a theory that people develop through strains, or likenesses, molds of persons if you will. To flesh this concept out, think of times when you have seen someone on the street and thought "that Japanese guy looks just like my brother, except Japanese," or "that woman is the black Julia Roberts." You get my point. Well, those forms, or likenesses, apply to the mind, attitude, and personalities of people as well. Thus, if you have met a type A boss that acts exactly like the high school bully that threw you into the bathroom and gave you a good pummeling, you understand this theory. Yet another example is the conniving, gossipy ex-girlfriend of yours that harps on your faults just the same as your grandmother.

Given that foundation information, I propose the following likenesses. Sarah Palin could, arguably, be described as the half-way decent looking high-school cheerleader, student government president that was seemingly privileged for the small town she grew up in. Yet, despite comparatively meager upbringings she was still a fuckin' hateful little bully that picked on the other girls that didn't have the newest "Guess" sweatshirts and the yellow Camaro. Furthermore, this type of girl, in general terms, probably threw "it" around a little with the popular guys at school that were as equally ignorant as her, but thought that they were smarter. This type of girl, in general terms did not want other people to know of her individual relations with these "cool guys" so she would give em' the "Ol' Palin Wink" just to let them know that it was "their secret." This is a terrible and vile scene that recurs thousands upon thousands of times per year, for time immemorial in what many City-Folk refer to as "Red-neck" towns. Not all places, nor young girls, are like what I have just described. However, many places are like this, and I believe Sarah Palin to be one of those girls, from one of those places.

With respect to John McCain's mold I propose the following. Despite John McCain appearing, at present, of one of Ralph Steadman's bad acid trip looking figure of excessive, and dubious, authority with those beast-like jowls, he was not always so. John Sidney McCain III graduated from the U.S. Naval Academy in 1958. Groomed to be a Naval man from an early age he strove to be an admiral just like his father, and his father's father before him. Everyone knows, and most respect his service to the country, but do not let his sacrifice cloud your judgments folks. This man exudes, and has always exuded, an overconfidence and an arrogance that truly says "ELITE." However, it is this same lack of humility and sense of superiority that explains his form, or likeness. The same qualities that make him the friend you used to have but could no longer hang out with because he stabbed you in the back, or two-timed with your lady. The same characteristics that drove friends who were tired of fighting for a fast-mouthed, hot-head, away, for good. McCain's disingenuous persona gives pause to millions of Americans, and others that perhaps he really died 10 years ago and was replaced by a Madame Tussaud, paranoid android, that no one can truly believe, or believe truly exists.

Now that the administrative task of describing these type, or forms, of people is finished, let's discuss some details. The format of the following text is in an organized rant. I will do my best to retain some semblance of continuity, but I can only do my best.

I. Politicians: Good God Ya'll, What Are They Good For? Absolutely Nothin' Say It Again!

First, let me begin by stating that MOST politicians are lying, cheating, stealing, mud-slinging, bastardized, shells of former human beings. These 'things' are not worthy of the title homo-sapien, or homo-sapien-sapien. It is important to remember that a privileged station in life does not necessarily imply superiority, often the opposite is true. Nevertheless, it is my staunch belief that these 'things' do not survive by the consumption of food, water, and oxygen, as we humans do. Rather, these 'things' continue in perpetuity by consuming feces, sundry biological and non-biological wastes, rodent blood, and babies. That is, until they die, as many believe John McCain has already done (is it so far fetched to believe that what we know of as John McCain is really just a humanoid replacement)? At which point the respective political parties create a replicant. Said replicant than continues to spread its message of muddled, indirect, irrelevant non-sense to our fast-food, infotainment, short-attention-span culture. (See Above).

That being said, one is charged with a civic duty to choose a candidate to elect for political positions. Thus, despite the despicable lack of option, one must participate in the process. Eventually, the process may be represented by a wider breadth of choices that espouse a more diverse array of issues. Perhaps, those candidates may even, truly, stand for your positions on two or even three issues. While I prefer the lesser of the very worst of this collection of evils it is only because that is all I am given as choices. McDonald or Burger King any one?

II. Experience? Who has it, Who needs it, Is it really that important?

While true that Barrack Obama is not the most qualified candidate for President in this here Un-United States of America is John McCain? And what of Sarah Palin. Do we really care about experience, or even issues? Or do we really only care about the talking heads that we see on television and how "cool and stylish" their glasses are or how eloquently they speak? (As an aside, the comment Un-United States is not a typo, or without significance See http://www.thedailyshow.com/ episode with Bill Maher October 2008 in which Maher explains that there are two United States, one which is more European and Progressive and one which is Redneck, Ignorant, and Hateful ---note the Author advocates neither position).

I grow weary of the comparisons between Obama's and Palin's experiences. While Sarah Palin is woefully under qualified to run this Country this is not the primary reason I am so disgusted with her. First, she does not answer questions, any of them. Her failure to answer questions is not a result of dodging issues, it is because she is ignorant. Ignorance can be cured. However, he consistent ignorance on issues reflects either the inability to learn or the arrogance that she need not learn. Both rationales are insulting and if she seeks the votes of those persons more informed or intelligent then her, she has much work ahead of her. However, with regard to the issue of experience, she is also lacking. Furthermore, contrary to Newt Gingrich’s perceptions, as he so ineloquently tries to debase reporter Ron Allen in the following video linked at You Tube, her experiences do not inspire confidence-(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8zXi90EVeg).

III. My Brief Digression to Explain to The Less-Evolved, Watermelon-Heads That
There Exist More Parties Than Republican And Democrat And That Not Being Conservative Does Not Mean You Are Communist

Now, before I continue, let me insert this disclaimer. I am not some left-leaning “commie-pinko,” liberal, that surely some mouth-breathing, redneck, racist, Ron Reagan loving, piece of mushy dog-turd, fuck-head is sure to label me as. True, I have not researched the relevant issues as deeply as say Patrick J. Buchanan or Tom Brokaw. However those ignorant bastards that will try and refute what I have said by grunting louder and erratically waiving their long arms in an effort to intimidate are without merit. Make no mistake, these mouth breathers are quick to spout from their obese McMouths this typical, nasty, unoriginal, pre-packaged tagline they have memorized only because they hear it 30 times a day from their choice of biased media.

In fact, there is no label for me, and there should be no label for me or anyone else. There should be very few labels at all. Nevertheless, I will do my very best for those who yearn and revel in these categories. I am a green, libertarian, futurist, anti-dependant on foreign fuels, small central government, proper apportionment of tax dollars to raise our collective ships-ist, non-hormone-meat eating, wine-drinking, stay-the-fuck-out-of-a-woman’s-choice-to-choose, shoot-you-if-you-come-into-my-house-uninvited, ethical and progressive constitutional interpreter who wishes for a strong focus on negotiation with regard to foreign policy.

Whatever genius can come up with that party has my vote (Sorry Bob Barr and Ron Paul you don’t cut a wide enough swath to get my vote).

I’d start my own political party, but I don’t kiss ass, am not strictly Politically Correct, and I hate politicians. Plus, a guy with views like that is definitely a strong candidate for the “most likely to get shot in the face in Dallas” Award.

IV. Race, Sex, The Opportunity For Something A Bit Different, Kool-Aid Drinking,
Ultra-Right, Religious Conservatives, And the Unwavering Ability for the Democratic Party To Ruin A Good Thing.

So where were we, sometimes I wander, OH yes! We were discussing Doo-doo Head Barbie and Robot John. As I was saying, this election is getting progressively nasty. No one wants to verbally attack the “Black Guy,” too much, and nobody really wants to go after the “Woman.” God forbid we offend somebody in the United States. Yeah, it would be horrible if people were actually honest.

Look, give this brother a chance. If Obama fucks up, than that is great for the GOP. Right, GOP? Yet another Democratic failure is not beyond the realm of imagination. At least, however, such a disaster would indicate that our entire political systems is doomed, not just faux-religious, right-wing, neo-con, Republicans. If the United States elects the chosen one, the first "Black Man," as President and he shits the proverbial Easter Basket the right-wingers are free to bask in thier “I told you so” glory.

It is hardly arguable that some extremist factions in the GOP secretly hope that Obama gets elected. If that comes to pass it will only be a matter of time before he lets his true colors as a "terrorist" shine. After all, Obama sounds like Osama right? Hopefully that is a laughable proposition to all but the most extremely ignorant cave dwellers amongst us, I hope. Nevertheless, to those voters, it is a certainty that Obama will work out a deal with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei to produce enriched Uranium, together, in strawberry fields forever. Ha! Then, the Far-Right dare I say Fascist, Republicans can have a field day, dancing around on the beltway with their cee-gars and their triple-malts.

But, don’t get all shit-eatin’ grin on me either you Democrats. You dumb dick-heads with your holier-than-thou attitudes have done just as much to get this country “in the shit” (See http://www.vietvet.org/glossary.htm of terms for “in the shit”) as those greedy Republicans. C’mon Kerry, did you really have to pick John Edwards? Could you not have chosen Hillary right off the bat. A “man of the people” does not pay $500 dollars for a haircut and certainly doesn’t go around fathering babies out of wedlock with a sick wife at home (villainous prick). Additionally, John Kerry, how could you let George W. Bush (and the Machiavellian Neo-Cons with personal vendettas grinding at their souls, including our good friends Wolfowitz, Rove, Rumsfeld, and Crack-shot Cheney) win a second time? In actuality, a first legitimate time, but I digress?

Contrariwise, there are those Democrats, or others, lurking in the shadows, secretly wishing that bat-shit crazy Doo-doo Head Barbie and Robot John win the election. Boy, another 4 years of the same is exactly what this ignorant Country needs. Remember folks, this isn’t even bad yet. Things can always get worse. As Lilly Tomlin once said, "things can always get worse before they get worse."

V. The Economy, Wal-Mart, And My Privilege To Buy A Foreign Car That Will Last And How That Purchase Has Less Effect On The Economy Than Your Purchase Of Goods Made In China For Wal-Mart.

What we should do is allow the millions of Americans that shop at Wal-Mart to keep shopping there as they bitch about getting laid off. I wonder if these folks are aware that the jobs that they once did for a living have been shipped to China, India, Burma, Taiwan, Canada, and Mexico, et. al. The money these consumers piss away at Wal-Mart lines the pockets of Chinese, Indian, Burmese, Taiwanese, Canadian, and Mexican distributors. The products these American consumers purchase fortify foreign markets and further erode the American manufacturing base thereby increasing the number of jobs in China, India, Burma, Taiwan, Canada, and Mexico, et. al. We can let Doo-doo Head and Robot John keep givin’ those jobs away. Or, we can hope that Obama makes good on his promise to give tax incentives and bonuses to those domestic companies that retain production facilities in the United States and return the once great manufacturing base to the United States.

Also, it is not just Appalachia and other similarly depressed communities that contribute to the Wal-Mart phenomenon. It takes all kinds to shop at Wal-Mart. The problem, however, remains the same...

Wal-Mart moves to a community. Wal-Mart's scouts travel the community and gauge the longevity of existing business (ex. that grocery will last 6 months, that hardware store, 1 year). The independent mom & pop shops go out of business because they cannot compete with Wal-Mart’s cheap prices because mom & pop bought local products at higher prices but also employee local members of the community and took care of those local community members. Mom & Pop fire all the locals that worked for em’ when they go under and those ex-employees go work for Wal-Mart. Except, where mom & pop gave the locals health care, a decent wage, and a 40+ hour work week, Wal-Mart does even better. Wal-Mart gives the local a 35 hour work week so that local can spend more time with his/her family and Wal-Mart saves money by NOT paying local’s health care and making sure that the government pays for it (welfare, Medicare, Medicaid). (See Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Pricehttp://www.walmartmovie.com/)

Giving all of our domestic jobs away to less qualified, lower quality providers, importing way more than we export, and consuming foreign fuels should certainly raise our Gross Domestic Product sufficiently strong to pull us out of the Depression that is surely around our corner. Right? Right? I wonder what Paul Volker has to say about this? (http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2008/01/31/volcker-joins-list-of-obama-backers/). How about Al Greenspan? (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/09/14/greenspan-this-is-the-wor_n_126274.html).

What I am trying to say, and this acrimonious diatribe sounds like the disjointed ramblings of a madman and for that I apologize, is that this country is F.U.B.A.R. If we want to fix it, let us give Obama and Biden a chance. Obama has a cool head and some street cred, which goes a long way when dealing with the crooked bastards that the President of the United States has to deal with. Note well, while William Jefferson Clinton WAS the first “Black” President of these United States he wasn’t raised by a single mother and did not have to deal with the same life experiences as Barrack “Barry” Obama. Therefore, Obama brings a new non-privileged background to a traditionally, silver-spooned seat of power that may be refreshing or disastrous. We will never know, though, if we don’t give him a chance. Trust me, we need to give this guy a whirl. I had a lot of people take chances on me, and very few of them were disappointed. Let’s do the same for Obama.

On the opposite side of the very same coin, Joe Biden is also from “the streets.” Now, he ain’t from the streets like Tupac Shakur, but he has lived in areas and at times where economic depression is “REAL.” Steal Depression of the East in the 70’s, 80’s, & 90’s anyone? Not to mention that fact that Joe Biden has very real experience with foreign affairs (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeremy-jacquot/how-bidens-foreign-policy_b_121043.html). Now, this is a true blue American and as close as you are going to get to a human being in career politician.

Contrast that with the other ticket. A Doo-doo Head from a State with a significant percentage of inhabitants that wish to cede from the United States of America (http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Alt/alt.politics/2008-09/msg00006.html) and a humanoid likeness of a man with a maniacal life and actual history of flip-flopping on positions. If we want to talk about flip-flopping, just by the shear duration of political service, John McCain does have more experience (See McCain’s Now Notorious Flip-Flop List).

Some may attack this text as being overly partisan. I have tried to remain as neutral as possible given my proclivities and my choice for the next President. Additionally, some may attack this as not as well researched as it could have been. For that, I apologize. However, at least I am not voting like some of the mentally underdeveloped knuckle-draggers that are casting their vote based on the fact that they would rather, in the most infamous words of my friend A.C. “f*&^ the dog-Sh*&$% out of Sarah Palin” than do the same to Slick Joe Biden.”

Furthermore, despite the fact that every damn news channel you watch is awash in superficial, image spinning, dialogue, I have tried to be as brutally honest as my own mental censors would allow in writing this document. If that is not good enough for some critics I urge them to get off their fat asses, put the remote down, cozy up to their machine and respond with something at least as intelligible as this, hopefully more so.

In closing, I should mention that we are at a pivotal time in human nature and the existence of this planet. If a cynical romantic like me can couch my apathy, for at least the most fleeting of moments, some of you optimistic, sitcom-watching, base-heads can do the same. Get involved, have a discussion, find someone you disagree with to have a debate. After all, most of your friends probably agree with you. What fun is that?

Go do something!

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