Working without pay only works if you give a shit!

I am anonymous. I wish to remain anonymous.

I am like most people in this world...essentially anonymous.

Get on the web and it's like advertising all of your faults, emotions, sentiments, etc. to the world. One big fat, self-incriminating broadcast. Sure, you are purveying your finest and purest of thoughts, unadulterated and honest. I appreciate this. My employers, past, present, and future may not. I don't really care what those people think. They, however, do care what I think, and how I act, and how I represent them as an organizational entity.

Remember your mother smacking the shit out of you in the middle of a shopping mall for acting like a huge twat. It's not because you were acting like a huge twat. You got wacked for acting like a huge twat next to her and therefore, for making her look like a huge twat that has no control over her spoiled, rotten, and uncontrollable brat. A poor reflection on the management skills of the organizational entity. This is the analogy. Fitting I think. So this is where we begin today, with anonymity.

ZINEDINE ZIDANE.

Not anonymous. Anything but. This man is still a class act in my book. Zinedine Zidane did to Marco Materazzi what I would have done. However, Zidane exercised self restraint. You do not see Coach Raymond Domenach chastizing his player. You do not see Jaque Chirac chastizing his countryman. You do not see the likes of Makelele, Thuram, Ribery, Henry, and the rest of Zidane's brothers blaming the loss on Zidane. THE ITALIANS DID NOT WIN THE 2006 WORLD CUP. THE FRENCH MERELY LOST. PENALTY KICKS ARE SHITE, and no one likes to see a game end this way. Moving on. Had that been me on the pitch, I would not have abided by the FIFA rules of the game. Zidane did. He did not employ the use of his hands to exact cold revenge on the Materazzi. He used his head. I too have been red carded. Upon 70 minutes or so of continuous rough play, disrespect, and the acte finalment of some words spoke regarding my mother I grab an opposing player by the head, gripping a white knuckled hand full of hair and pulled that cheating and lying bastards face into my other hand. The ball was at the opposite end of the pitch. The lying and cheating bastards bloodied face kissed the moist grass. The official pulled his red card from his pocket and placed the card in my face. Unacceptable? Certainly. Excusable? Only by some. Deserved? Absolutely.

When I did this, when I committed that foul, I knew the repurcussions. Perhaps Zidane, blinded by a momentary overtaking of blind fury did not fully understand such repurcussions. Perhaps it was a mistake to commit such a foul with ten minutes left of overtime. Let me direct the following statements to all of the other people out there with their opinions. I will say only this. Maybe it was a mistake, but it was Zidane's to make. His countrymen, his national leader, his coach, and most certainly his family stick by him. For you, it is none of your business. Eric Wynalda, the writers and editors at "Le Monde," Giorgio Chinaglia, and the rest of the World, I don't think that you need me, some anonymous person, of anonymous age and education to tell you that "it was not you on the pitch, head butting a potentially facist in a moment of rage," so kindly keep your comments to yourself. Zinedine has enough to live with. Maybe he regrets his act, maybe he doesn't. That is for him to live with, not you.

That is my first complaint of this week.

Moving on.

I had a wonderful weekend. Full of wine, sport, cinema, conversation, and grand gastronomic fare. Well, I guess not all of the food was that grand. But much of what was consumed was quite delicious. Two Cheese flights, curried and pan seared scallops, grilled lamb loin, honey and cumin cubed chicken, garbanzo and spinich pasta, grape leaves and hummous. Simply delicious. Dined with the wife, had futbol practice, saw and excellent animated film based on a Phillip K. Dick novel. Just enjoyable the entire time. So why don't more people do these types of things. Why can't we have good conversation with other people like I do with my wife. People only want to take about the mundane and the vulgar. Aggravating. Despite all of this I am completely happy at present.

Here is a valid complaint. I will take this to the ombusman/person, my apologies. I have an examination on Monday. I have read every assignment, and missed only two classes. I have put the work in. I will study diligently for the entire week so that I can, with any hope in addition to my hard work, reap what I have sown. There are those among us, out there, that are our doctors, lawyers, dentists, psychologists, butchers, train conductors etc, that do not study like I do. Which is to say that many study perhaps more efficient that I. Others do nothing. They simply do nothing. They fly by night, get the materials for the examination and sweep on past me, doing less work and finally surpass my scores through back door dealings. I don't know how these people acquire these materials and I don't know what they do with all of the time that they are not studying. I know where you think this complaint is going... but you are incorrect. I am upset with myself for allowing them to get to me. I am not upset with them. I am not upset with these people because I know more than them. I am more fit and qualified than most of the people to be a practioner in whatever vocation or challenge I am posed against them in. Do you understand what I am saying. I put the work in to put the work in. For the sake of the experience. I may perform worse then them on the examination. I may be seen as a lesser competitor. When the wind has blown and the debris has settled. I feel whole. I am a complete human being. I have survived the experience and have grown as a result of that experience. I care not how I rank in comparison with those people. I have reached a point in my life where I can honestly say that I, in more instances than not, do not compare myself to others. There will always be those both greater and lesser than I based on a multitude of measurables. I, however, am confident in saying that I am improving. I, inside my mind and body, am improving and becoming a more complete human being. GO ME!

Oh, yes. DO you know something? I am upset about relationships. They just don't seem to be working out for a host of my friends as of late. Is it the alignment of the planets? Are we do for a total solar eclipse in the near future. IS the planet swinging off orbit? I am concerned about these people. I think that they have done some things, subconsciously, that may have jeopardized their relationships. These people are good people and they deserve second chances. They have recognized that they scrabled their priorities and are sincerely penitent. I hope the best for these people. One a woman, the other a man. If I could put them together, I would. I think that they, in another life, would be a great couple. I sincerely empathize with M y S. They feel like they are too old to be messing around with such sloppy relationship woes. You are never to old for anything unless you are dead. Important to recognize.

OH. YOU know what puts me into a tizzy. People who constantly tell you that they want to hang out with you, but never call. Fuck them. I don't mean that. Yes I do. But don't worry. I will get over it. Tomorrow...Not Fuck you.

Saw a couple of severely balance challenged people on the train this morning. Train, not like the Orient Express or the Hiram Bingham to Machu but rather the Chicago EL, or the Tube if you are ignorant and hail from across the pond. So, this dude, parallel to the front of the train must be completely devoid of any knowledge of physics. This is a sad fact. After all, physics is the science of life. Perhaps he is the walking dead. He didn't seem starved for human brains so perhaps there is some other rational excuse. So, anyway. The train moves forward, rapidly. If you stand with your feet shoulder width apart, perpendicular to the front of the train, it is as if you were standing in your living room, feet two feet apart and had your friend push you in the chest. Do you know what would happen? That is right. You would fall flat on your dumb ass. You ride a train as if you were on a snowboard, skateboard, etc. You can almost ride the train in this manner without holding on to the multitude of metal handles provided by the architects of the train cars. Bend the knees a little to absorb the shock. More bend in the front as you travel, less bend in the front as you stop. Lock the opposite leg of the direction you are traveling and voila!!!! No spills, no mess, no interference into the personal space of others. I am going to explain this to those folks in the very near future. Someone could get hurt.

Speaking of HURT. Have you all seen the "Elephant Man" starring Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt as John Merrick, in real life Joseph Merrick. This is the story of a man horribly disfigured by a disease which causes him to have bone disfigurement, elephantitis, unable to use certain body parts, etc. Mr. Merrick, in the beginning of the film is found by the good Doctor, Anthony Hopkins, at a side show. The Doctor, rescuing Mr. Merrick from this side show life soon feels that he has just displaced Mr. Merrick from one side show to another, that of the medical commmunity. After a short time the Doctor finds that Mr. Merrick is not mentally deficient, but merely deformed. This is a great story of the power of friendship and that books should certainly not be judged by their covers. I like to think that I would be able to see past such deformities to find the beauty inside another human being. I think that I could. I have done it before, but one never knows.

The line from this film that is most striking is when Mr. Merrick accidentally knocks over a child and is pursued through the train station only to be disroped and have all of his deformities shown to the riotous and unreasonable public. He shouts to them in despair, fear, and anger that "I am not an animal, I am a human being."

Very poignant in today's climate of xenophobia and paranoia.

Speaking of Paranoia. This film that I spoke of earlier, the Phillip K. Dick novel. That is a true display of paranoia gracefully conveyed by the artist to those with a mind open enough to appreciate the medium and style with which Dick offers up this story. The film, almost always less fulfilling than the book, was quite good. There seemed to be some in the audience, which was quite mixed, that were on some mind altering substances. They laughed at times when only a psychedelic causes an inside joke to force a conspicous and collective laugh. The real pinch in this case is that if you have not read this book of technology, drugs, law enforcement, conspiracy, and the ultimate dementia, then you don't know how the story ends, and this particular story does not end well my friend. So these junkies are slowly declining into a likely near vegetative state or just outright death. The film seemed to glorify this drug use, which clearly, the book did not. So I hope that those kids weren't tripping out because the common ending of the book and the film was Phillip K. Dicks dedication to his friends who have been lost or severely impaired due to drug use, listing the names followed by one of four potential fates. Those names were followed by either a DECEASED, PERMANENT PSYCHOSIS, PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE, or PERMANENT LIVER DAMAGE. Not a message to have the mind soak up during a trip. Hope they are OK...


Well, it seems, children, that I have run out of time for this broadcast. Hope to have the counter up soon when I get to a terminal that will allow me to modify cookie settings.

Until then...Auf Wiedersehen. Oh, that reminds me. Heidi is on tomorrow. SWEEEEET!