Curbs and Gutters. Barriers and Runoff. I have been thinking a great deal about what is really going on in life. Seems an awful short run of living to be preoccupied with so much non-sensical bullshit, don't ya' think?
I mean, I have been having waking dreams of instances from my childhood and just past memories lately. It has been fantastic, but time seems to be speeding up. Kind of a drag when you think about it, so I have decided to meditate, and meditate more. My world is my world, my words my words. I can try and explain such things to other people but no one, no one will ever truly understand the full significance of how I see and feel things. No one can. It is not because we don't understand each other, it is simply because human limitations prevent such adequate communication. Until minds can meld, or some similar process where you see the world, YOUR WORLD, from another person's complete bio-mental-physical viewpoint, communication will be less than 100% efficient. Once we get to such a point I believe the human life will progress. Because the person on the ground who watched their child, father, sister, wife, etc. die will be able to put the person who killed them into the shoes of the bereaved. That kind of feeling and sentiment is some pretty powerful stuff. The whole collective level of consideration, compassion, empathy will increase exponentially among the whole populous. Wouldn't that be nice? I think that it would be.
Despite our current inefficient state, things seem to be getting better. At least among my circle. But chew on this. We think that the world is becoming more progressive, however, it seems that the people [many people and in a general sense] that are spawning more people are from less educated, more supersticious, less wealthy, more populated areas. The population is declining in the more rationale [supposedly] and more developed states, or regions. The more rationale is a debatable description, but essentially a general truth for our purposes.
For example, East Timor is growing at 2.08% but is the poorest country in the world with a GDP per capita is $400-500 and their unemployment is at 50%
Further, Somalia is at 2.75% growth with GDP hovering at a blustery $500-600.
2-3% doesn't seem like much, and after infant mortality and life expectancy figured in, well it really ain't much. But look at some of these numbers...
U.S. is growing at a whopping, .91% with a GDP of $41,800. Germany's growth is -.02%, yes that is a minus, they are actually shrinking, their GDP is at $30,400. These countries contain, but are certainly and not necessarily run by un-self-serving and rational leaders. These countries have high levels of secondary and tertiary education such that people from all over the world, many elite, send their children here to be educated.
My point, and I will support this theory with additional resources, is that the world of more easily swayed people to fanaticism is on the growth, while those more rational, finding that less children is the answer, or in some cases no children, for them. The world is growing less capable of supporting habitability for increasing populations. We know that the world is warming, however, we don't know if the effects of that warming will be a massive and gradual cooling, a rapid cooling, a massive and irreversible warming, or what. We just don't know. What they do know, what we know, is that we had better make some changes. Having more children in over-populated areas, consuming more energy, giving less back, is not the answer.
Moving forward... on to the predominatly Catholic countries we can see some interesting results.
The Philipines-Growth: 1.8%, GDP: $5,100, Religion: 89% Roman Catholic
Mexico-Growth: 1.16%, GDP: $10,000, Religion: 80.9% Roman Catholic
Ireland-Growth: 1.15%, GDP: $41,000, Religion: 88.4% Roman Catholic
Guatemala-Growth: 2.27%, GDP: $4,700, Religion: Almost entirely Roman Catholic.
Basically, if I had more time today, and when I have more time later I will project further numbers to show that the Catholic church's current move to relax their long standing policy against the use of contraception {see also CFFC[Catholics for a Free Choice]} not only necessary to long term sustainability of the planet, but it is rational for people to do more than just procreate. Think about how much happier Hitler and Saddam would have been with a little hot lovin', am I right?
So, anyway, I have to split. I have a motion for summary judgment to discuss with a colleague and a sandwich to pick up for my wife.
I would also like to thank Hasselhof for the sweet line...
"Kickin' Ass with Class!"
30.6.06
21.6.06
Ayuvedra, Futbol, and Beats
"Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word that means "the science of lifespan." The word ayurveda is made up of two roots: ayur means life and veda means knowledge. According to ayurveda, every human being was created by the cosmos as either male energy, Purusha, or female energy, Prakruti. Purusha is choiceless passive awareness, while Prakruti is choiceful active consciousness. A person's self-identify, called Ahamkara, is affected by three universal qualities: satva, rajas, and tamas. Satva equips an individual with the ability to have clarity of perception. Conversely, tamas is responsible for periods of confusion and deep sleep, as well as the tendency towards inertia and darkness. Rajas causes movement, sensations, feelings and emotions, everything that makes us human beings."
Thanks to ***http://library.thinkquest.org/24206/ayurveda-medicine.html
So basically, the human body is made of five elements: Space, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth. While man, and woman, are essentially, a microcosm of nature, three distinct body types exist among humans. Those body types are called DOSHAS. Those doshas explain movement, gesturing, and the metabolic functions of the person. The three doshas are comparable to the pyshchosomatic bodytypes of endomorph, mesomorph, and ectomorph. Now we get into what two friends have either in the passed or are currently studying as they relate to ayuvedra. I have an friend name Wayne, he should be safe because only his parents call him that, but he studies some far out things. Shamanism, Ayuvedric Medicine, Organic Foods, Meditation, Trancendental Meditation, Yogic Studies, etc. My friend Dee, as I will call her, is studying to help people look and feel beautiful, from the inside out. They call her studies Esthiology and Wellness. She is kinda far out as well. I should introduce them. My wife thinks that It would be hilarious to put them in a room together. They might just float away. They are kind of Airy, or can be. This is a complement. Trust me.
Moving on, the comparable body types in Ayuvedra are Vata ( Sounds like Vah-Tah), Pitta (Sounds like Pih-Tah), and Kapha (Sounds like Kah-Fa). Vata is comprised of Ehter and Air; Pitta of Fire and Water; and Kapha of Water and Earth. According to the religion, or philosophy, or studies, or however, and to what extent
YOU buy into these thoughts, you should lend some creedence to these ideas. Once explained they make a great deal of sense. While each of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha, exist in every cell and organ, including the male sperm and female egg, and most people have a mix of doshas, one type is predominant in all humans.
"All in all, while there are only three doshas, there are really seven body types in ayurveda: mono-types (vata, pitta, or kapha predominate), dual-types (vata-pitta, kapha-pitta, or vata-kapha), and equal types (vata, pitta, and kapha in equal proportions). Health occurs in an individual when he or she develops a balance or equilibrium among the three doshas. This equilibium prevents disease and gives the individual a peace of mind."
So, last Saturday, Dee says to me "I think that you are a Pitta." "I say why," and then we got off of topic. But last night, as I sat with Wayne and the wife, after some quite delicious Korean food, I had Bulgogi, they had Bi Bim Bop, Wayne says, "Dude, you are a total Pitta" Well, my intrigue was struck like a heavy minor chord at a 'Slayer' show. So here I am. Let me explain the Pitta body type to you, and those of you that have some idea of who I am can decide.
PITTA: This metabolic type is rather predictable, especially in comparison to the Vata type. A person with a dominant Pitta body type usually has a medium build, is strong, has stamina and endurance, and maintains a stable body weight. Pittas are generally very intelligent (questionable), quick-witted (possibly), and overly critical (fuck you if you think so) : ). They posses little patience (are we done yet?), a short temper (not so much anymore, wanna fight about it?), and may erupt from time to time. Now, the things that are generally going to set our blood to boil and cause us the most aggravation are those things that have a kernal of truth to them. This Pitta thing is a helluva lot closer to describing me than any kind of pseudo new-age star reading bullshit. Any Ayuvedra is probably about 5,000 years old, so hey, they might be on to something. Wayne tells me that I should lay off the salty and spicy foods. As you can guess, they likely exaccerbate any conditions that may result from being a Pitta, hypertension, anxiety, etc. I no longer erupt, that sounds kind of naughty, no? But I do not get so angry anymore. I know people are assholes, why be surprised? But, I have to work on the overly critical. As my loyal 2 readers will attest to, this has a great deal to do with being the "OK" guy, as opposed to the 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'sweet' guy. Perhaps if I lower my standards a pinch, I wouldn't be overly critical. I don't demand success, I don't demand perfection. What I do expect is that people try as hard as they can If they are doing something for me, and to a greater extent if they are doing something that they are passionate about. Otherwise, what the fuck is the point. There is a fella that I am related to through two marriages. He is as standup as they come. He just did a triathalon. I don't know why he did it. I guess he was trying to push himself. He damn near came in dead last. But he finished. He took that bastard by the horns and shook its head into submission and he finished. That was awesome, not just ok. So, you see, I am getting much better.
Even with my wife. She is the best lady on the planet. I know that SHE knows that is how I feel, deep down, but she likes to hear me say. Look, I am a man of few words. I didn't used to be, but then I realized that the more people say, in a majority of cirumstances, the dumber they sound. That is not true for some people, but it may very well be true for me, so don't take offense.
Moving on to Futbol. Righteous stuff. I have had the unique opportunity to see many games this cup. The work gig, pretty all right for no pay. the School shit, exactly that. Despite all of this I have watched damn near every 2:00 game. Sweden v. England, Germany v. Poland, Brazil v. Australia, Czech v. Ghana, Italy v. U.S. FUCKING AWESOME. I usually have One Guiness with each game. ONLY 125 calories. BRILLIANT. Anyway, this has been fantastic. I am on a new training kick and I Have found a team. My goal: to qualify for the U.S. 2010 Team and play in South Africa. Yes, I am fully aware of the daunting loftiness of my goal. However, if I train that hard, something good will come of it. Worst case scenario, I become as fit as I was at 17, which is really going to hurt the wife's eyes and my heart. Best case, I am playing in South Africa. That would suck!
Now, and finally. I have been making some music. I am about to have my humdinger of an Ableton box live. Transfering synths to a massive box and midi-synched to all of my gear. I want to play that music so loud that it creates a 'disturbance in the force.' What I really want to tell you all is to go buy the Gnarls Barkley album "St. Elsewhere." It is the BOMB, the Shit, or whatever, people be sayin' these days. Cee-Lo from Goodie Mob and Dangermouse. Off the chain. Buy it.
Konichiwa and Sayonara................................................................................................................................................................................................................Bitches.
Thanks to ***http://library.thinkquest.org/24206/ayurveda-medicine.html
So basically, the human body is made of five elements: Space, Air, Water, Fire, and Earth. While man, and woman, are essentially, a microcosm of nature, three distinct body types exist among humans. Those body types are called DOSHAS. Those doshas explain movement, gesturing, and the metabolic functions of the person. The three doshas are comparable to the pyshchosomatic bodytypes of endomorph, mesomorph, and ectomorph. Now we get into what two friends have either in the passed or are currently studying as they relate to ayuvedra. I have an friend name Wayne, he should be safe because only his parents call him that, but he studies some far out things. Shamanism, Ayuvedric Medicine, Organic Foods, Meditation, Trancendental Meditation, Yogic Studies, etc. My friend Dee, as I will call her, is studying to help people look and feel beautiful, from the inside out. They call her studies Esthiology and Wellness. She is kinda far out as well. I should introduce them. My wife thinks that It would be hilarious to put them in a room together. They might just float away. They are kind of Airy, or can be. This is a complement. Trust me.
Moving on, the comparable body types in Ayuvedra are Vata ( Sounds like Vah-Tah), Pitta (Sounds like Pih-Tah), and Kapha (Sounds like Kah-Fa). Vata is comprised of Ehter and Air; Pitta of Fire and Water; and Kapha of Water and Earth. According to the religion, or philosophy, or studies, or however, and to what extent
YOU buy into these thoughts, you should lend some creedence to these ideas. Once explained they make a great deal of sense. While each of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha, exist in every cell and organ, including the male sperm and female egg, and most people have a mix of doshas, one type is predominant in all humans.
"All in all, while there are only three doshas, there are really seven body types in ayurveda: mono-types (vata, pitta, or kapha predominate), dual-types (vata-pitta, kapha-pitta, or vata-kapha), and equal types (vata, pitta, and kapha in equal proportions). Health occurs in an individual when he or she develops a balance or equilibrium among the three doshas. This equilibium prevents disease and gives the individual a peace of mind."
So, last Saturday, Dee says to me "I think that you are a Pitta." "I say why," and then we got off of topic. But last night, as I sat with Wayne and the wife, after some quite delicious Korean food, I had Bulgogi, they had Bi Bim Bop, Wayne says, "Dude, you are a total Pitta" Well, my intrigue was struck like a heavy minor chord at a 'Slayer' show. So here I am. Let me explain the Pitta body type to you, and those of you that have some idea of who I am can decide.
PITTA: This metabolic type is rather predictable, especially in comparison to the Vata type. A person with a dominant Pitta body type usually has a medium build, is strong, has stamina and endurance, and maintains a stable body weight. Pittas are generally very intelligent (questionable), quick-witted (possibly), and overly critical (fuck you if you think so) : ). They posses little patience (are we done yet?), a short temper (not so much anymore, wanna fight about it?), and may erupt from time to time. Now, the things that are generally going to set our blood to boil and cause us the most aggravation are those things that have a kernal of truth to them. This Pitta thing is a helluva lot closer to describing me than any kind of pseudo new-age star reading bullshit. Any Ayuvedra is probably about 5,000 years old, so hey, they might be on to something. Wayne tells me that I should lay off the salty and spicy foods. As you can guess, they likely exaccerbate any conditions that may result from being a Pitta, hypertension, anxiety, etc. I no longer erupt, that sounds kind of naughty, no? But I do not get so angry anymore. I know people are assholes, why be surprised? But, I have to work on the overly critical. As my loyal 2 readers will attest to, this has a great deal to do with being the "OK" guy, as opposed to the 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'sweet' guy. Perhaps if I lower my standards a pinch, I wouldn't be overly critical. I don't demand success, I don't demand perfection. What I do expect is that people try as hard as they can If they are doing something for me, and to a greater extent if they are doing something that they are passionate about. Otherwise, what the fuck is the point. There is a fella that I am related to through two marriages. He is as standup as they come. He just did a triathalon. I don't know why he did it. I guess he was trying to push himself. He damn near came in dead last. But he finished. He took that bastard by the horns and shook its head into submission and he finished. That was awesome, not just ok. So, you see, I am getting much better.
Even with my wife. She is the best lady on the planet. I know that SHE knows that is how I feel, deep down, but she likes to hear me say. Look, I am a man of few words. I didn't used to be, but then I realized that the more people say, in a majority of cirumstances, the dumber they sound. That is not true for some people, but it may very well be true for me, so don't take offense.
Moving on to Futbol. Righteous stuff. I have had the unique opportunity to see many games this cup. The work gig, pretty all right for no pay. the School shit, exactly that. Despite all of this I have watched damn near every 2:00 game. Sweden v. England, Germany v. Poland, Brazil v. Australia, Czech v. Ghana, Italy v. U.S. FUCKING AWESOME. I usually have One Guiness with each game. ONLY 125 calories. BRILLIANT. Anyway, this has been fantastic. I am on a new training kick and I Have found a team. My goal: to qualify for the U.S. 2010 Team and play in South Africa. Yes, I am fully aware of the daunting loftiness of my goal. However, if I train that hard, something good will come of it. Worst case scenario, I become as fit as I was at 17, which is really going to hurt the wife's eyes and my heart. Best case, I am playing in South Africa. That would suck!
Now, and finally. I have been making some music. I am about to have my humdinger of an Ableton box live. Transfering synths to a massive box and midi-synched to all of my gear. I want to play that music so loud that it creates a 'disturbance in the force.' What I really want to tell you all is to go buy the Gnarls Barkley album "St. Elsewhere." It is the BOMB, the Shit, or whatever, people be sayin' these days. Cee-Lo from Goodie Mob and Dangermouse. Off the chain. Buy it.
Konichiwa and Sayonara................................................................................................................................................................................................................Bitches.
Nobody Knows Who I Am
Nobody knows who I am. The fault lies not with them, but with me. My mind is not lazy, but my mouth is. My body is not lazy, but my eyes and ears are. I just don't want to look for the answer or listen to somebody try and explain or justify their actions to me. I just want them to do whatever it is that they think they need to do or want to do. I don't want to talk about things, I want to do those things.
My wife will tell you that I am an "OK" guy. Rarely is something 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'superp,' or whatever. I am an "OK" guy because I have refined my tastes over years and things just don't exite me that easily anymore. Things that I love or have a great deal of passion invested in exite me more than the inadequacy of the English language, or likely any other language, can describe. I could explain to you what those things that ignite my passion are but I am afraid that they will lose some of their punch if I share them with you...so I will keep them for me. Just for me.
Despite all of this, I am a happy person. I do let many things slide by me without causing aggravation. When we can make these aggravations gnats instead of lions the world becomes happier. The world becomes happier because one person becomes happier. Sure, the increase may be negligible, but the ocean gains size with every drop. There are far too many stubborn and ignorant people in this world who cannot recognize that they know nothing. I know nothing. In the grand scheme of things, many of us know nothing. I would love to give you a great quote, but not today, some other time. The crux of this thought is that it is impossible to know everything, even a percentage of a fraction of everything. So be wary of those people that claim to know much, and even more wary of those who claim to know more. Those people cannot be trusted, and often, when it comes down to necessity, those people never seem to come through in moments that demand courage or compassion. So there, you ignorant phuckos out there.
I am at work right now. I am supposed to be working right now. I guess that I am working right now. Just not doing work suited to this environment. "Yes, I am doing work...I am blogging. Hopefully I am making someone else's day better by writing something that they felt, and thought that no one else felt like that. Hopefully." So I guess that this, what I am doing, as compared to what I should be doing, may very well be the more important work. Look, It is not as if I have a pile of time sensitive work staring me in the face, scornfully taunting..."finish me, finish me now, or your life." I don't have anything. Everything they ask that I do, I do. Apparently I do it well, or so they tell me. I attribute the lulls in work to a lack of time or organization on their behalf. Of course it may not be their fault, but it also MAY be their fault. I am in no position to speculate on the reasons for gaps in the assignments that they give to me. There are 3 other summer employees at my place of business and not all of them seem to be getting as much work as I. It should be noted, and noted well, that those 3 are paid employees, whereas I am not. Additionally, those 3 have progressed, or scratch that, are merely further along in their educations than I. In the grand scheme, back to this grand scheme, what is this grand scheme? We will discuss the grand scheme shortly, this advanced educational position means very little. I suspect that I can do the same things and types of tasks that these others can do, but for their additional year of education on me. In fact, I am probably 4 or 5 years older than them. Which means that I have 4 to 5 years of LIFE EDUCATION on them where they have 1 year of LAW SCHOOL on me. WHOA, stop the presses, hold the phones, and call the fucking President. These guys have a year of school on me. A year of awful, dreadful, monotonous law school. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH SMARTER THAT YEAR OF EDUCATION HAS MADE THEM. They might be geniuses. The shear expansion of their brains may have given them mind control powers. We had better make some hats of tin foil to protect ourselves from their penetrating mind control waves.
Sorry, gotta little out of control there. Wild Rants, Just Wild Rants. Anyway, my point is that...
1. Working for free is just lame. I cannot explain to you how difficult it is to put your best foot forward, do all of the work, do it well, and then just not give a shit. In fact, I really couldn't care much less. The worst of it is, that these people cannot believe how hard I work. I truly believe that if most of them, the lawyers that give me work, were in my position they would have quite a severe case of the 'fuckits.' But that is neither here nor there, because I am in the hot seat and they hold the lever.
2. Back to the whole 'I know more than you,' issue. Well, you probably don't know more than me. We might just be on an even keel. Wouldn't that just piss you off? What stings those people's egos the most is that I may very well know more than them, and I don't know anything at all. OUCH!!! That smarts. The damn voodoo that people try and sell to you on a daily basis is unbelievable. This culture, our culture, not the global culture, but there are some culprits out there among the usual suspects (you know who you are England and China), forces people to work and over work and be workaholics. The problem is that education is shit, many teachers are shit, math and science are shit. And people just don't give a shit. They needn't have to. We have plenty to go around, what with the state of education and teachers. We are working more, to produce less quality, to buy stuff that we don't need. I cannot speak to this issue any longer. I have nothing left to say about this without digressing into a massive diatribe that people have neither the patience nor the inclination to read.
3. What is life? What is our definition of life? What is your definition of life? What quality of life do you seek? The chain? The repeating chain? Does that really make people happy? What could you do different starting right now? What would you do differently if you could do it again? Me, myself, I don't have the answers. What I do know is this. My grandparents had their children, my parents. Now I will have a child...someday. Would I like more than one child? I don't know. But we keep making children, and the planet keeps turning. But if I am all right, and I have a decent moral sense, no my role in a global world, respect differences of culture and religion, and treat other humans with decency that treat me with decency then why are there so many damn ASSHOLES out there?
Here is one possibility. The people who treat others with respect like I do are not the people making babies because they realize that their progeny will have little chance of getting on well and be outnumbered by all of those creating asshole babies.
The second possibility. The people making babies that are all right human beings are on the increase and we have to wait and see maybe two generations down the effects of the increase in overall goodness in the world. I would like to place all of my faith in this option, I hope that I am not merely deluding myself.
The third possibility. We are just a race of slightly rational, warrior monkeys and we are all fucked. The Earth cannot sustain our populous because we take and take and take and give nothing back to the planet. There is no point. There is nothing but this. I hope this is not the outcome. But everything in my gut tells me that this is what is happening. Wars, fighting, over population, wage enslavement, and workaholism. Wow. not a good scene.
Anyway, I don't know why I started this blog today. I just felt like, i don't know. I guess that I just didn't really feel anything.
I have this class that I have been going to for school. Nothing fun, like music or gong fu, just law. The class could be exciting. Guess what though? could be and are are a world apart. I don't want to go. I will go, I will also watch Netherlands play Argentina at 2:00 as well. I hope that lifts my spirits a bit, because despite my good fortune as of late, I still feel numb. I feel like I am watching my life like a show, rather than participating in it. If you know me, OH, I forgot, NOBODY KNOWS WHO i AM. Well, I don't believe in fate. I can do whatever I want to do. That is one thing that everyone should know earlier on in their lives, that way we would not have to say "IF i could go back" because we would not have to. Anyway, I don't believe in fate, which makes the whole living thing kind of a heavy drag lately. Because If you feel like you are watching your life, then you don't have much control. I guess that I will just have to try harder.
On a lighter note I have been told that I am a Pita, through and through. Pita is a body, mind, personality, skin, innards, type of person in the Ayuvedric studies. I am going to start a new post to describe the lighter stuff. That ought to be something. Stay tuned.
My wife will tell you that I am an "OK" guy. Rarely is something 'awesome,' 'fantastic,' 'superp,' or whatever. I am an "OK" guy because I have refined my tastes over years and things just don't exite me that easily anymore. Things that I love or have a great deal of passion invested in exite me more than the inadequacy of the English language, or likely any other language, can describe. I could explain to you what those things that ignite my passion are but I am afraid that they will lose some of their punch if I share them with you...so I will keep them for me. Just for me.
Despite all of this, I am a happy person. I do let many things slide by me without causing aggravation. When we can make these aggravations gnats instead of lions the world becomes happier. The world becomes happier because one person becomes happier. Sure, the increase may be negligible, but the ocean gains size with every drop. There are far too many stubborn and ignorant people in this world who cannot recognize that they know nothing. I know nothing. In the grand scheme of things, many of us know nothing. I would love to give you a great quote, but not today, some other time. The crux of this thought is that it is impossible to know everything, even a percentage of a fraction of everything. So be wary of those people that claim to know much, and even more wary of those who claim to know more. Those people cannot be trusted, and often, when it comes down to necessity, those people never seem to come through in moments that demand courage or compassion. So there, you ignorant phuckos out there.
I am at work right now. I am supposed to be working right now. I guess that I am working right now. Just not doing work suited to this environment. "Yes, I am doing work...I am blogging. Hopefully I am making someone else's day better by writing something that they felt, and thought that no one else felt like that. Hopefully." So I guess that this, what I am doing, as compared to what I should be doing, may very well be the more important work. Look, It is not as if I have a pile of time sensitive work staring me in the face, scornfully taunting..."finish me, finish me now, or your life." I don't have anything. Everything they ask that I do, I do. Apparently I do it well, or so they tell me. I attribute the lulls in work to a lack of time or organization on their behalf. Of course it may not be their fault, but it also MAY be their fault. I am in no position to speculate on the reasons for gaps in the assignments that they give to me. There are 3 other summer employees at my place of business and not all of them seem to be getting as much work as I. It should be noted, and noted well, that those 3 are paid employees, whereas I am not. Additionally, those 3 have progressed, or scratch that, are merely further along in their educations than I. In the grand scheme, back to this grand scheme, what is this grand scheme? We will discuss the grand scheme shortly, this advanced educational position means very little. I suspect that I can do the same things and types of tasks that these others can do, but for their additional year of education on me. In fact, I am probably 4 or 5 years older than them. Which means that I have 4 to 5 years of LIFE EDUCATION on them where they have 1 year of LAW SCHOOL on me. WHOA, stop the presses, hold the phones, and call the fucking President. These guys have a year of school on me. A year of awful, dreadful, monotonous law school. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH SMARTER THAT YEAR OF EDUCATION HAS MADE THEM. They might be geniuses. The shear expansion of their brains may have given them mind control powers. We had better make some hats of tin foil to protect ourselves from their penetrating mind control waves.
Sorry, gotta little out of control there. Wild Rants, Just Wild Rants. Anyway, my point is that...
1. Working for free is just lame. I cannot explain to you how difficult it is to put your best foot forward, do all of the work, do it well, and then just not give a shit. In fact, I really couldn't care much less. The worst of it is, that these people cannot believe how hard I work. I truly believe that if most of them, the lawyers that give me work, were in my position they would have quite a severe case of the 'fuckits.' But that is neither here nor there, because I am in the hot seat and they hold the lever.
2. Back to the whole 'I know more than you,' issue. Well, you probably don't know more than me. We might just be on an even keel. Wouldn't that just piss you off? What stings those people's egos the most is that I may very well know more than them, and I don't know anything at all. OUCH!!! That smarts. The damn voodoo that people try and sell to you on a daily basis is unbelievable. This culture, our culture, not the global culture, but there are some culprits out there among the usual suspects (you know who you are England and China), forces people to work and over work and be workaholics. The problem is that education is shit, many teachers are shit, math and science are shit. And people just don't give a shit. They needn't have to. We have plenty to go around, what with the state of education and teachers. We are working more, to produce less quality, to buy stuff that we don't need. I cannot speak to this issue any longer. I have nothing left to say about this without digressing into a massive diatribe that people have neither the patience nor the inclination to read.
3. What is life? What is our definition of life? What is your definition of life? What quality of life do you seek? The chain? The repeating chain? Does that really make people happy? What could you do different starting right now? What would you do differently if you could do it again? Me, myself, I don't have the answers. What I do know is this. My grandparents had their children, my parents. Now I will have a child...someday. Would I like more than one child? I don't know. But we keep making children, and the planet keeps turning. But if I am all right, and I have a decent moral sense, no my role in a global world, respect differences of culture and religion, and treat other humans with decency that treat me with decency then why are there so many damn ASSHOLES out there?
Here is one possibility. The people who treat others with respect like I do are not the people making babies because they realize that their progeny will have little chance of getting on well and be outnumbered by all of those creating asshole babies.
The second possibility. The people making babies that are all right human beings are on the increase and we have to wait and see maybe two generations down the effects of the increase in overall goodness in the world. I would like to place all of my faith in this option, I hope that I am not merely deluding myself.
The third possibility. We are just a race of slightly rational, warrior monkeys and we are all fucked. The Earth cannot sustain our populous because we take and take and take and give nothing back to the planet. There is no point. There is nothing but this. I hope this is not the outcome. But everything in my gut tells me that this is what is happening. Wars, fighting, over population, wage enslavement, and workaholism. Wow. not a good scene.
Anyway, I don't know why I started this blog today. I just felt like, i don't know. I guess that I just didn't really feel anything.
I have this class that I have been going to for school. Nothing fun, like music or gong fu, just law. The class could be exciting. Guess what though? could be and are are a world apart. I don't want to go. I will go, I will also watch Netherlands play Argentina at 2:00 as well. I hope that lifts my spirits a bit, because despite my good fortune as of late, I still feel numb. I feel like I am watching my life like a show, rather than participating in it. If you know me, OH, I forgot, NOBODY KNOWS WHO i AM. Well, I don't believe in fate. I can do whatever I want to do. That is one thing that everyone should know earlier on in their lives, that way we would not have to say "IF i could go back" because we would not have to. Anyway, I don't believe in fate, which makes the whole living thing kind of a heavy drag lately. Because If you feel like you are watching your life, then you don't have much control. I guess that I will just have to try harder.
On a lighter note I have been told that I am a Pita, through and through. Pita is a body, mind, personality, skin, innards, type of person in the Ayuvedric studies. I am going to start a new post to describe the lighter stuff. That ought to be something. Stay tuned.
18.6.06
Oh F It.
Fear is not the source of all love.
Organization and minimalist redaction is quite likely the way to happiness.
A clear head is often overrated. A clear body is not.
I called my father for father's day and my brother for his birthday. It felt good. My other brother won't call back. I wish that he would. Apparently his phone is not working, he is living in a distant city away from where he usually lives and has not contacted anyone. He was supposed to join the Army, which is a FUCKING mistake. I don't know what his deal is. I don't know what my deal is. My deal is not great, but it seems better than his at this point. Shit.
Things that make other people happy often make me sad. The rationale behind this opposite effect is simple. When I think of those happy things I immediately think of mine or other people's deaths. Morbid, I know. However, I guess that I am preparing myself for the inevitable. That got me to thinking that maybe I should stop drinking.
Not water and juice, but the booze. Maybe I will just stick to wine. It seems to treat me pretty well. What can I say?
Anyway, I have been doing a great deal of introspective thinking lately. I don't think that I will like working on the weekends very much. It is damn near impossible to work as much as our businesses and firms expect us to. It is bred within the culture to work work and work. Because we work so much, others have to work that much because that is what is expected. It seems however, that the people not working so much are the same folks that bullshit their afternoons away. Do you know what the hard workers get for their efforts? More work and the responsibility to carry the social loafing losers through their careers. Well, I propose that we cut out the fat, find more quality workers, and tighten up the teams with those that can carry their weight. We would have more responsible and responsive workforces and we would have to work less because we would be more efficient in less time.
I just think that I am in kind of a bad place right now and I shouldn't be. Things are going relatively well for me. I am working, for free. Well that is not so great, but the experience is good. I have been training and playing soccer. I have been watching world cup action. Fantastic. I have been hanging out with my wife. But, I cannot help but feel melancholic lately despite these great things...
I told my wife that I want to sell most of my stuff and start training even more. No more cigarettes, less booze, all organic food. I just want to change my life, but I don't want to add anything. I only want to rid myself of what I already have. I don't feel the need to use something external as a crutch for the strength that I have within myself.
I think that is about enough for today.
Organization and minimalist redaction is quite likely the way to happiness.
A clear head is often overrated. A clear body is not.
I called my father for father's day and my brother for his birthday. It felt good. My other brother won't call back. I wish that he would. Apparently his phone is not working, he is living in a distant city away from where he usually lives and has not contacted anyone. He was supposed to join the Army, which is a FUCKING mistake. I don't know what his deal is. I don't know what my deal is. My deal is not great, but it seems better than his at this point. Shit.
Things that make other people happy often make me sad. The rationale behind this opposite effect is simple. When I think of those happy things I immediately think of mine or other people's deaths. Morbid, I know. However, I guess that I am preparing myself for the inevitable. That got me to thinking that maybe I should stop drinking.
Not water and juice, but the booze. Maybe I will just stick to wine. It seems to treat me pretty well. What can I say?
Anyway, I have been doing a great deal of introspective thinking lately. I don't think that I will like working on the weekends very much. It is damn near impossible to work as much as our businesses and firms expect us to. It is bred within the culture to work work and work. Because we work so much, others have to work that much because that is what is expected. It seems however, that the people not working so much are the same folks that bullshit their afternoons away. Do you know what the hard workers get for their efforts? More work and the responsibility to carry the social loafing losers through their careers. Well, I propose that we cut out the fat, find more quality workers, and tighten up the teams with those that can carry their weight. We would have more responsible and responsive workforces and we would have to work less because we would be more efficient in less time.
I just think that I am in kind of a bad place right now and I shouldn't be. Things are going relatively well for me. I am working, for free. Well that is not so great, but the experience is good. I have been training and playing soccer. I have been watching world cup action. Fantastic. I have been hanging out with my wife. But, I cannot help but feel melancholic lately despite these great things...
I told my wife that I want to sell most of my stuff and start training even more. No more cigarettes, less booze, all organic food. I just want to change my life, but I don't want to add anything. I only want to rid myself of what I already have. I don't feel the need to use something external as a crutch for the strength that I have within myself.
I think that is about enough for today.
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