WE are taking steps to view life through different spectacles

To All...

Here Ye, Here Ye, Here Ye... I decree that this blog has become a new forum with which to review "things" of this world. Meaning, I will be using this forum to review products, including food, music, books and other literature, film, and people. I have spoken with the wife about this for some time and have decided that ACTION speaks LOUDER than words, particularly if you have pans and spatulas and no megaphone. Therefore, today will usher in the new era of WeAreAllMachines and I will begin to provide useful data to the machines so that we can hopefully make more informed, efficient, and a little less stupid decisions.

On this day March 23, 2007 I will review two things...

1) The album is "The Good, The Bad, and The Queen" by Damon Albarn of Blur and the Gorillaz fame, Tony Allen often drumming with Fela Kuti, and a fantastic Afrobeat percussionist, Clash bassist Paul Simonon, and former verve guitarist Simon Tong. Now, we can get into some pissing match about how, and if, these so-called super groups even exist, but I would rather just say that fantastic and ground breaking musicians hang out with one another just like any other professionals do. This is for several reasons. 1) People like to hang out with other high end professionals because they know that when they talk shop they want to have their limits pushed to the brink and not speak with some fool that thinks they know everything, and therefore what they are talking about; 2) These guys are not good at what they do, they are great at it. They kick beats off of bass lines off of vocal harmonies off of grooves and then they meet back in the middle for slow build ups that crescendo into moments where you want to close your eyes and let the jam carry you away, but you also want to stay alive, stay out of jail, and keep your car in one piece so if the music has this effect on you, LISTEN AT HOME; and 3) These fellas have met, and likely exceeded, the expectations of listeners since the second album that each has contributed to, which is to say, when an individual has their music and are heard the first time people are either blown away or they are not. Interest grows and then you become attached to a style, a bass line, a groove that these people produce. Eventually, these artists become a part of your life and you anticipate, sometimes with great anxiety, their next product. Now, the famous sophomore slump can dismay even the greatest fans, but these folks had you waiting in line like a crack head waiting for their confederate to come out of the house that they went into with Aunt Mabel's television to come out with that little baggie. Therefore, we knew that this group was technically sound and at least moderately diverse and visionary in their respective styles...

What we did not expect, at least most of us, was this album.

Supposedly a concept album whose songs are themed around modern life in London, this means fuck all if you are ignorant of what really goes down in the seedy underbelly of London life. Watching "Lock Stock" F.Y.I., does not make you an expert. My point is this. You needn't know Lilly Allen from Parliament to understand that this album is straight off the chain and tighter than X-hibits whips.

The initial track off this album, and I will not bore you will minutae from each track, about break downs, and buildups, but the "History Song" starts us off with slow jamminess like malt-o meal on a cold wintry morning. There is a solid bass line that could zone you out like passing out on the bathroom floor warm with wine to the hum off your washer and drier. Moreover, you hear the sweet grinding slide of finger prints against guitar strings that you rarely hear these days. If you expect to hear the later electronica of Blur or the trip-hop-hip-hoppiness of the Gorillaz go buy some new R& B version of some shitty soft-cell remix, cause this album ain't the one. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for this type of tune, and I love the stuff myself, but Damon has grown, grown, grown. Listen for Damon's "Ahhh AHHHHHH if you don't know now."

The next track, "80's Song," is more like the 60's song and has a doo-wop feel to it. Did you think in one million years that I would say that? It is true. That is growth, or sweet regression, either way, who cares, the song is groovy. Frankie Vallie would shit his pants. That would be funny.

And finally, because I told you that I would not bore with each individual track's content I will simply tell you that "Herculean" is musically genius. I find myself singing falsetto lines while my wife hums the bass line from this track. I am constantly looking for musical stylings. I then take my inspirations which I record on a handheld tape recorder, then put down when I get home. If this song doesn't inspire musicians, they should stop making music. Plus, the big Plus, is Tony Allen's broken afrobeat in this track. Man o Man is it choppy, funky, groovy, and smooth like the surface of the Caribbean in a Puerto Rican cove.

All in all, stop what your doin' cuz this album is about to ruin, the image and the style that you are used to, and hey, it was produced by Danger Mouse, Grey Album anyone, not to mention 1/2 of Gnarls Barkley (oh Snap!). So, to get you to buy this I will give you the obligatory comparisons with the P.i.M.P. twist...

This album is 2 parts "English Beat" particularly "Mirror in the Bathroom" pitched down and funked up, 1 part "Thievery Corporation," a dash of "Stereo M.C.'s" for taste, A Gilberto Gil, Sly Stone, Bootsy Collins, Fela Kuti, and Afrika Bambaataa low key beach front pig roast, and a handheld walk through the park with Sid Vicious and Nancy Sinatra. Yeah, I might be crazy...crazy like a fox, and crazy like this album is good. Go buy it or download the whole thing, this week, from I-tunes for $7.99 it is on sale.

Damon keeps getting funkier and for people who try to make music, like me, is surpassing the level of inspiration by growing from brit-pop, to funk electronica, to ground-breaking trip-hip-hop to THIS, just plain old, home grown, good-ass music.

And, if you do like the Gorillaz, which maybe you should, check out their live in Harlem DVD. Bomb musique.



My second review for the day is "Stupidity." Yes, as we have seen in the last couple of months, with the help of years of historical data, the analysts are right. Stupidity is on the rise with growth somewhere in the range of 273% +/- 3 basis points. It is a bull market and we expect more growth indirectly proportionate to crude prices. Now is the time to invest in stupidity because we don't expect a decrease in the near future. In fact, as the population continues to grow we expect stupidity to rise at exponential rates. For, the smart investors, however, despite massive expected growth, we advise to dispense with as much as you can, as soon as possible. Therefore, we review stupidity as just plain stupid.

See you soon.