S&^%, F$%#, S$^&, F$#$%, S@#%, F#$%#

F. I have had the worst F'ing, F'ing week. The older I get the more diminished my tolerance for dumb mother f'ers gets. Unbelievable. Now, I have categorized a new style of poetry entitled the "anger-vent, hate sans-hate, haiku." Before I share my composition with you, there are some qualifiers to this dialogue of which you must be aware...

1. I am of mixed heritage. One part Mexican, two parts tomato juice, a part lime, three parts vodka. Shake and drink. Delicious.

2. My family is Catholic. I try, but I am not very good at it. "They" say it is like riding a bike. Someone stole my bike. That does not bode well.

3. I am really a good person who simply gets stuck in "bad" situations. I feel like bad situations are like stray dogs. They just spring up and it seems like they are always hungry. Dammit.

4. I have an extremely low tolerance for stupidity and, begrudgingly accept when I, myself, have done something stupid.

5. I am an optimist at heart.

6. My heart is buried deep within a blackened chest of rock and oak.

7. One of my most favorite things is to see people get hurt when they do something stupid.
Unless, Unless, Unless, they hurt themselves really badly, in which case we all have a good laugh once the bleeding stops. Have you ever stepped on a tack? Wow, that little tack hurts BIG time.

Good, now that we have clarified these minor housekeeping issues, let us proceed to the artistic medium of poetry discussed above.

I present to you my first ever "anger-vent, hate sans-hate, haiku"...

Motherfucker You
you cause me much pain and grief
I don't know you Pigs!

Sabes Que? My Man!
Ash Wednesday Was the day,
you prevented me!

From leaving my work?
You blocked my car in the lot.
I forgot one thing.

Silly me, buddy!
That's right. Jesus loves you more.
Know why that is guy?

Oh yeah, I know why!
Because you're more Mexican,
than I look to you.

Sabes Que, Asshole?
God and Jesus are color blind!
That is what I'm told.

At least I try to...
understand where you come from,
reciprocated?

I think not my man!
don't give a shit about Man?
entiendes? Guess not!

Check out this next one
try to secure the passport,
but Pops lost his docs

Talk to Senator,
well, at least his aides. Oh yeah!
came to fruition?

Not likely. Not yet.
Try to call. Aide won't Answer!
That dumb ass bastard.

Yes, I have been calm.
The Yoga has assured that.
I remain myself.

That passport had better,
be in my father's hands soon.
If not, oh hells bells!

Politicians, man.
Always writing checks with mouths
that asses can't cash.

Fast mouth Politics
Fat mouth Politicians, too.
The best are all gone.

Sabes Que? No, what?
Speaky Spanis? Si, pero,
You speaky Inglis?

Sorry lady, but...
You gotta call back later.
y sabes por que?

Por que, I am mad!
I speaky spanis, but you...
You no speak Inglis!

I am mad as hell.
I do not have to take it.
At least not sitting.

I will stand. I will.
And you can push me down, down.
But I will get up.

You will tire first.
I will stand just to beat you.
My will is stronger.

Will is principle.
I am a principled man.
You, you have nothing!

Yet another sir.
Lest I leave you sour, my friend.
the wife and the dog.

Those two, if non others.
They two are of principle.
A dog you ask? Yes.

The wife and the dog.
Principle is in the eyes,
and the way they walk.

You too, would be wise,
to find a map leading to,
a finely hid spot.

dig and you may find,
gilded, brass, boxes filled with
principles and gold.

The message disguised,
but not completely obscured,
instructs to search well.

For principle will...
among many other things,
not seek you out friend!

You must find it and,
trap it, and hold it tightly.
It will escape you.

Once trapped, lock it up.
Use it every day, and oft.
and do you know why?

Consideration,
and peace, come from principle.
Now do you see why?

Our cups runneth over,
we are at capacity,
with idiocy.

So, tell me something,
that I know not yet my friend.
That one I have heard.

I leave you with this.
help people always, because
it is the right thing!


Well, that was my foray into the venting haiku. I hope you like it. I am unsure if the proper haiku form is expected to be connected by thought throughout a whole 5-7-5 unit, or if the lines are to be independent of one another? Well, I will disclaim any knowledge of being a haiku grandmaster, but I am getting quite good at Su Doku. No relation? Sorry, I thought you guys might be cousins.

Despite the haikuisms, I have to tell you, I feel infinitely better after that composition. Now, if I can just get this Measles inoculation out of the way I can relax a little bit. As I sit here, I wonder if the weather in Algeria is relatively the same as that in Texas. It sounds odd, yes, I know. If you look at a map, however, you may just say, "hey, I wonder that too!"

Well, if anyone out there is in fact reading my anonymous blog, which is done for my safety and that of all the children and the blind, I thank you. I do intend to keep writing more often, as it saves me the money from going to a psychologist. Anyway, a psychologist would just tell me that I am either fucked up, or normal, which, I already know. So thank you for your patronage. Perhaps soon I will have enough patronage to get that boat to travel to the new world for spices. I do like marjoram and paprika.

So, if anyone has anything to tell me, submit a response. I intend to put some links to some friend's blogs and other such things very soon, so stay posted.

Enjoy your end of the Weeks and have some chocolate or pie. You will, undoubtedly, feel better.